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Fred Burkle-Super Genius Crew
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 Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2008 9:32 pm
“Hi, it's me Fred. I wanted to thank you again for what you did for me... actually, that's not why I called, it's true and all, I'm really grateful and everything, I mean you saved my life! how could I not be? but... When I got back to the hotel, Charles and I... well it's over. I had to tell him the truth... he got rather mad. I told him it wasn't you but... you know how he can get, he shouldn't bother you, I told him I'd... well it doesn't really matter what I told other then not to take it out on you. But if he does come over, call me before you get into a fight, okay? That's what I called to tell you. Oh my number! 'Cause I'm not at the hotel right now. I'm at this little spa. The number is 566-7845 room 18. I told them you might call and that it would be an emergency so... I just had to get out, what with Charles being there and all, it just wasn't... comfortable. I don't know if I'll ever even be able to go back.” She pauses as if reflecting on this. “This means I'm out of a place to live and a job...” she sighs, “I guess I could talk to Angel, try to keep my job, but it would be so... and Charles was there first, and way more useful to them then I ever was. I guess this means you where right... You wouldn't happen to need a physics with an aptitude for building contraptions on your team would you?” suddenly she laughs rather awkwardly, “Don't worry I'm just teasing, I know the answer is no.” Silence fallows for a good thirty seconds. “Call me,” she suddenly says, “I mean if Charles shows up, of course. 'Cause that's what I called about... bye.”
Fred hung up the phone and began to cry. Her heart ached. She was alone now, and by her own doing... She had chosen to be with Charles, she cared about him, hell she even loved him, but refused to let him in. Refused to let him see the all of her, past the innocent and pleasant bits to the darker less attractive sides of her personality, to see her in full, the girl who would have happily shot that b*****d Gio through the neck and become a murder. After yesterday she knew that deep down she was terrified of doing so and it wasn't going to change. What she had told Wesley about it not being his fault at all was true. It wasn't about who she went to, it was about who she didn't: Charles. She supposed that subconsciously she knew what was happening to her, that she was changing becoming a monster of some type, letting out her inner demon so to speak, it made sense why she would run to Wesley. He had been infected, had his inner monster brought out before her, and she had forgiven him, it made sense that the same would be true for her. Wesley wouldn't be judgmental, he would try to help her.
Fred knew there was no point in staying in a relationship that was depth challenged and always would be, but she hadn't though the consequences. Just like when she had gotten into the relationship in the first place, she jumped in and didn't think for a moment. Now she had no job, and was isolated from everyone she had cared about. What could she do? Go back to Texas? Move back in with her folks? She hadn't been Weird Wini in a long time, she was sure the shoes would no longer fit. Back to school? Be Winifred Burkle, physics student? She could become a professor, or maybe get a research grant, write some articles, and maybe even a book. But was she ready to give up this world and return to the ordinary life? Sure she wouldn't miss the constant impending death, the nightmares, or the weird goo that left stains on her favorite cloths but... that didn't mean she wouldn't miss the adventure, the magic, the joy of saving people- maybe even the world! How could she give that up? Especial when every time there was an earthquake she would be searching for the other signs that it was an appending apocalypse. Plus that weird goo had started to become a very interesting collection, before she had to abandon it. She had been serious at first when she asked Wes if he could use her, of course that was before she realized how stupid that was. She had long thought that Wesley thought she had something to offer the hero business. Sometimes she thought he had seen her calling before even she had. Seen through the babel and forkless eating to the quick mind that could plan, reason out puzzles, and build traps, but now...
but it's Gunn's job to protect you. Not me.
He thought she was a helpless child. Just like everyone else did, only Charles had ever seen her as anything else, even if it had been a sexy helpless woman, at lest it hadn't been a child. Not that she hadn't spent all of yesterday proving it. She had crawled and clung to Wesley like a helpless, frightened lost little two year old girl. No wonder he thought so little of her...
Some other time she would try reason out why that thought hurt more then breaking up with Charles had, for now she would put on her Dixie Chicks CD, and try to forget her troubles... forget everything.
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:17 pm
Fred was laid out in a bath tub full of mud. Her face was coated in some sticky green stuff and she had cucumbers over her eyes and seaweed in her hair. It was supposed to be extremely relaxing. However all it did was give her free time to think. All she could think about was how stupid she was, she had sufficiently managed to ruin her life and she had no idea what to do about it. Over and over again her mistakes played in her head. Everything from breaking up with Gunn, to dating him in the first place, all the way opening strange books in libraries... the other thoughts she was having... well they were just as uncomfortable... She had resorted to running through the digits of pi just to keep her mind occupied but calmer.
3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751
0582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798
2148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481
117450284...
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Fred Burkle-Super Genius Crew
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:27 pm
"I guess that's one way to calm down after a break up and your best friend is a jerk to you." Wesley said calmly. As he leaned against the wall.
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:35 pm
"Wesley?!" she sat up then slouched back down realizing that she was naked. from the jolt her cucumbers fell off and she was able to see again. She was almost thankful for the green goo that covered her face because it was sure to hide her blushing... She was naked and muddy, her face was covered in green slim... this was not exactly how she had pictured their next meeting, of course how she pictured their next meeting involved a white horse and Spanish dialog, she would never again doze off while watching Spanish soap operas...
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Fred Burkle-Super Genius Crew
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:48 pm
"I'm sorry..." He looked down. "I was a little impatient... Okay maybe a lot." He looked back up at her. "I got your message so I came to talk." He laughed slightly. "I saw Gunn before I got your message. Ran into each other in the bar... He told me what happened and I got worried. So I went back to the hotel to find you. Well you weren't there so I went home."
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:01 pm
"Oh!" Fred tried not to looks surprised or embarrassed or anything. She looked at Wesley, no obvious wounds... "Charles didn't... did he... he didn't do anything stupid did he?" she finally said. She still had the stun gun, but she wasn't sure she wanted to see Charles right now... in fact she was sure she didn't. She was happy to see Wes but... why was he here? Well she had made a rather pathetic spectacle of herself on his answering machine. Perhaps he was here to do Gunn's "job" now that she had fired him. Her stomach lurched at the thought. She didn't need a babysitter... she needed a friend.
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Fred Burkle-Super Genius Crew
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:26 pm
"Surprisingly enough I managed to escape a beating. I daresay he's not acting like himself. He even apologized for blaming me after I repeated my story a couple of times." He looked her in the eyes. "It seems theirs a few of us that aren't acting like ourselves lately. You, Gunn, Angel... Even me." He sat on the edge of one of the tubs. "I lied to you earlier... And I was an idiot. Gunn was actually the one that helped me realize it. He told me your reasoning for breaking up with him. And I started thinking... And the more I thought the more I realized how stupid I was being. I should have realized if you wanted to go to Gunn you would have.
But you wanted to come to me. And even after what I said this morning you still called me." He smiled. "I'm glad... I'm so sorry about what I said this morning... I wanted you to be happy and I was afraid if you kept coming to me, even though we are friends, that Gunn would... I wanted you to be happy, and I thought Gunn made you happy. But then after what I found out today I knew that wasn't true. I am so sorry Fred. I don't want you to stop coming to me. I don't want you to think I've turned my back on you because..." He was almost crying. "That's not true. I want to be there. I know that I said I didn't want to come back to the hotel. Well I lied about that too. I wish I could come back. I miss it and you."
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:41 pm
"That's good. I mean that you managed not to get in a fight." Fred smiled up at him and for a moment forgot that she was naked. "No need to apologize." Fred wrinkled up her nose... he really didn't get what made her upset. Did everyone see her as the sweet little helpless innocent? Had she put on that good of an act for Charles? "Angel forgave you... you could go back, if you really miss it I mean. Wes do you... never mind...""
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Fred Burkle-Super Genius Crew
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:58 pm
"Do I what?" He frowned perhaps what he had feared was true. He looked down, that thought hurt worse than anything. "Gunn said you didn't trust him... You didn't tell me that... I mean thats okay... You don't trust me do you?" He rested his chin on his hands. "I thought you would have told me something like that. I mean... I guess proved myself untrustworthy... You can't even..." He went quiet for a moment. He was opening up too much. No. He was just plain afraid. Yes he came to talk about this. He wanted to sort it out but he was so afraid of the answers. "I guess I don't know everything about you. And I wish I understood. You don't have to tell me..." He was stumbling a bit with his words. He was making this worse. "I'm sorry I don't what I am talking about."
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:15 am
Fred raised an eyebrow. What had Charles been telling him?
"Wesley, I trust you." she said finally. She wasn't exactly sure what else she should say because he had sufficiently lost her after that, but at lest she could answer that.
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Fred Burkle-Super Genius Crew
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:32 am
She trusted him. Then what was she hiding from him? "You do? Then why? Why... didn't tell me all these things that were going on? All these feelings? Why didn't you tell me you didn't trust Gunn? And why are you afraid to ask me things? I'm not trying to put you in your place I just. I feel like I apologized and it didn't help. I did something else wrong." He knew that he had missed something somewhere but what was it? He knew it had to be him she was acting a little different towards him than usual. Sure it could be the breakup but he had a feeling there was something more to it. It was the look in her eyes, he had wronged her and he wasn't sure how. In fact now that he thought about it. Fred never said anything that was bothering her. He had always been good at picking it up. Well now he had picked it up but he didn't know what it was. The only thing he knew for sure was whatever it was didn't involve Charles.
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:40 am
"Well I kind of only put it together today... " Fred sighed "Okay I know I just... you say these things and... what do you think of me?" she spit out suddenly.
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Fred Burkle-Super Genius Crew
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:54 am
"Wh... What?" He was thrown off by her question. She was worried about what he thought of her..."I think you are an amazing, talented, and gifted young woman. Your strong and independent. Your smart and everything glows when you're around." He smiled. "You're not afraid to put your life on the line to save your friends. You can see good in a monster. And most of all you're the most beautiful woman I have ever met." He spoke very passionately. "Don't tell Gunn I said any of that. He'll kill me."
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:06 am
Your strong and independent...
"Then why did you say that it was Gunn's job to protect me?" Fred looks hurt. The word job came out sounding like a curse word.
She wasn't sure why Wes was being so... well she wasn't sure what Wes was being, but she was sure this wasn't the time or the place to think too much about it.
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Fred Burkle-Super Genius Crew
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Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:22 am
"I said it because you were dating him. Gunn gets all worked up every time you come to see me because he knows how I feel. So I didn't want to put strain on your relationship. Instead I tried to push you away. I didn't want to ruin what you a Gunn had. I thought you were happy with him and if I could get you to stop coming around me it would make things better for you and him. I didn't want Gunn to hate me anymore and I want you to be happy. It was a stupid solution and I'm sorry... All it did was hurt you more."
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