|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:34 pm
Okay, so I'm typing up one of my poems. It isn't my best, but judge it harshly nonetheless so I can improve. wink
You don't realize that I lie, ever so easily.
You never notice that I've cried,
When I brush it off you take it seriously.
I'd do anything to keep you unaware,
I don't need any comfort but your care.
You don't need to know, about my old sadness.
You shouldn't worry about what I don't show,
It may drive you to madness.
Your presence is all the help that I need,
Hold me closer, let me breathe.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:07 pm
well i can't write a poem if my life depended on it, and I've heard some terrible poems. Yours is good!! 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:20 pm
Your rhyming scheme is uber off.
You need to work on that, hun.
Otherwise it's pretty good.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
