Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hey y'all,

I hope that you're doing well, but if not then I hope you're at least pretending to, so you don't ruin anyone else's day. Capiche?

Pleasantries aside, let's get to the point: I am Episkopos Manta Longvalley of the Brethren of the Happy Valley, a Cincinnati-based cabal whose slogan is "Running a better rat race since 3165 YooLoD." Catchy, I know.

The Brethren is a group which, I'm happy to say, currently has 23 members. Bully for us. However, we're looking to extend our peculiar projects a bit further than our own dear 'Nati. So let me give you the lowdown on us first:

We're a gaggle of gregarious Goddess-groupies that like to get together and have a good time. Our thoughts, interests, physical shape, telekinetic abilities, and tolerance of pop tarts vary greatly, often to the point of one member getting in fisticuffs with another. But that's okay, really, because the makeup sex that inevitably follows is awesome.

Anywho, what we say and do as people varies widely, like anyone would expect of Erisians. However, we are united under the Five Suggestions, which are eternal and immutable:

1) We believe that we are called the Brethren of the Happy Valley, and that those that are called the Brethren of the Happy Valley are the Brethren of the Happy Valley.

2) We believe that any Sister who is a member of the Brethren of the Happy Valley is to be called a Brother, because calling the cabal Brethren and Sistren of the Happy Valley is just stupid.

3) We believe that if Life is a rat race, then insanity is the cheese, and laughter is the way to eat it.

4) We believe that the Culture Pop shall ever save us from being suckers.

5) We believe that there are rules everywhere, and not even Goddess prevails.

6) We believe that those rules that chain us may be broken when the rules of that free us are unleashed.

7) We believe that, despite the usual Discordian hard-on for the Law of Fives, Seven is an infinitely prettier number.

cool We reject the notion of the Powers That Be, and propose a notion that is infinitely more frightening: there is no one behind the wheel.

9) We believe that hot dog buns are yummy and delicious, despite what some dumb broad may say.

10) We believe in never finishing what we


And that's the basis of the Brethren. Some technical terminology to explain:

Culture Pop - n. An act in which a Brother "sucks away the civilization" in the same way that a nubile and stimulating young trollop would suck a Tootsie Pop. The emphasis here is on outrage, insanity, and downright silliness.

Examples: Brother Bardecko Barnobo, Supreme Omni-Mother of Harlotry in Platinum, mailed 105 business cards with only the word "Hi" written on them, to 104 different people. Brother Non-Sequitas du Yoosey, F.X.D., set up a lemonade stand in his yard and sold pictures of lemonade.

So to conclude, become a Brother and help out with the Pops if you'd like, or don't if you'd rather not. I don't give a pair of fetid dingo's kidneys. But whatever you do, always remember that the cheese is tasty.

Belovedly yours,
Longvalley

Fair enough.

Your madness sounds quite intriguing. I'll have to n** over and visit every once and awhile. I'll bring scones.

Lemon poppyseed, of course. Are there any other kinds?