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Poem A La Dolly

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- Lady Bloody Ava -

PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:39 am


Here are a few of my poems. As a little f.y.i my middle name is Dolly and as for my poems, their pretty much all over the place when it comes to the time, topics, and why they were written. Two I wrote when I was little so no doubt there will be a few grammatical errors. sweatdrop Feel Free to critic whatever you see fit. Thanks!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Make me a glass
And brew it strong
I want to feel
Like nothing's wrong
Push the glass against my lips
I'll drink and feel my conscious slip
Away with the air from my pierced lungs
Rushing ancient melodies sung
To lullaby me to the roots
I feel the liquid arrows shoot
To sleep me 'til it's all OK
Prepared to wake on my next day
Where the sun will shine
And I am free
From the ropes that presently strangle me

I don't like to lose control
But in this dream
I'd still be whole...
I'd be like I think I used to be:
Able to laugh and act passionately,
Because right now, I feel so bound
To all this consequence I have found
On the next level I wish to be
Able to play and think like 'Me'
Without this pressure we're suffering from
My sanity's been stretched far too long...

'Regime so intense is unnatural!'
I shout from the back of my exam hall
But no-one hears
With brainwashed ears...
I say

All work
And no joy
Makes this Dolly
A dull toy

So Dolly will sip
Until Dolly may fly
Where she waves from the clouds
As the fools live a lie.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're my friend
Cause everyday
You stick my head
In glue and hay

You're my friend
Cause you push me down
And turn my smile
Into a frown

You're my friend
Cause you stick signs on my back
You kicked me in the butt
And stuffed me in a sack

After all that has happened
I just had to call
And say to you
That you're not my friend at all


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There once was a panda named Lou
Who always liked crunching bamboo
He ate all day long
Til he looked like king kong
Now the zoo
Doesn't know what to do
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:56 am


lol @ panda

I liked your first one, its sort of a spin on the typical emo poem, but with a different feeling. You have a few rhythmic issues, but i'd say its a good start.

=]

manic mischief
Crew


Fire Lord Ceci
Crew

PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:01 am


I agree the first poem is really good. smile

And OMIGOSH pandas! *jumps on*
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 10:40 am


I absolutely love the last two lines of the first poem.

The second one is kinda off, because the first two verses are short, and the second are long, so it throws off the reader, and makes it a bit hard to read.

And the third one is adorable. Panda! >.<

XGothamGirlx
Captain

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