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A Request [A Very Short Story]

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Isis375
Captain

PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 5:10 pm


"Baby, can you hear me?" I pressed harder when there came no response. It was no use; there was so much blood. I brought my shaking hand to his face. "Baby, do you hear me?"

The shrill in my voice pierced the night. This wasn't right. We shouldn't be on this cold highway. We should be laughing over dinner.

I pressed harder with my jacket, and he opened his eyes. Tears came faster as I leaned over him. "Honey, you'll be fine. Do you hear me? Everything will be fine, just stay awake. I love you, okay?" He moved his lips, and I strained to hear. "...luh..oo.." I stroked his cheek and told him not to talk, he would be fine, and I would be right there.

He went unconscious again.


- - - - - - - - - - -

The cold night went icy at that moment. I turned to see a terrifying figure garbed in black, its features inhuman. I shuddered as it stepped forward. I began to plead. "Please don't take him! It's too soon! Don't take him now!"

A voice rang in my head, startling me. Something must be given. I shouted into the silent night. "Anything!" You will be what you wish I wasn't.

- - - - - - - - - - -

I was then at his side, holding him in my arms. "Baby, you're gonna be okay." His fingers gripped mine, and I kissed his face, squeezing his fingers lightly. "I love you." His voice was light as the wind. I held him closer. "I love you so much, darling."

I pulled away to look at him, and his eyes widened, suddenly horrified. Confusion filled my face. "What's wrong, baby?"

My heart stopped. I saw my reflection in his eyes.
PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:07 am


Dark... but since you played it right, the darkness didn't overpower the story, however short it may be! This was a really enthralling story.

maidentears


e c h o of ages - -

PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 8:19 pm


You're right...it was VERY short! Yet, in those 100 odd words, you told a complete story. I think, if you wanted, you could expand the details a bit. Jazz it up, if you will. But it's wonderful as is.
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The Composition Corner

 
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