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 Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 6:34 am
This was written to a friend that I fell in love with 8 months ago. Unfortunately, it's a tragic tale of loss. Also, I don't have a title for it, so I'm open for suggestions. :}
Write me a love song,
but don't sing it to me
'cause it will break my heart.
Just fold it in a note
and keep it in your pocket
and never let anyone see it.
'Cause this heartbreak,
it's a killer,
and my soul feels empty
without your love to fill it.
And seeing you with her,
it robs me of breath
and makes me want to die.
Because you were everything;
you were my world.
To me, the sun revolved around
your perfect face,
but my world's stopped spinning
'cause you're not in it anymore.
And you can never be mine,
because you were too late.
And in turn,
I was too late too.
And I'll pay the price for my stupidity;
have to die knowing that truth
But no matter what,
you'll always be there
at the back of my mind;
in the depths of my heart.
And I'll never forget you
my darling Patrick
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Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:31 am
I will get straight to the point.
I do quite like your poem.
It is quite laate at night where I am, I have just finished a tough shift at work, and someone, when I read your words, I felt, this strange sense of sympathy.
It may just be the un-nerving hour, or the tiredness I feel, but some how, I felt what I think I was intended to feel.
I like your work i do.
My only critism is that normally, to add a certain element of mystery I know a lot of poets, myself included, refrain from using people's names.
Never the less, i enjoyed it, and hope to see more in the future.
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