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Golden Stars

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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 4:02 pm

So I'm writing a novel (yes I have taken on that challenge) and this is what I have so far for the beginning. I need lots of comments, especially on if it makes sense and things you like. If it doesn't make sense somewhere, please tell me so I can fix it. Now it's pretty long so you might want to take 2 days to read it (unless you're really that bored). I'm also trying to make the book really visual, meaning you can picture what's happening in your mind. Well here it is:

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Chapter 1:

In the center of all dimensions, there is a meadow, an extremely large meadow. Here, there is no such thing as winter or fall, only summer and spring. The grass is green year long and there are plenty of trees to provide shade. Flowers of all kin are dotted across the perfectly horizontal meadow as far as the eye can see. The sky is always the perfect shade of blue and the sun is always shining soft rays of light. This utopia is called the Golden Gate Meadow.

Scattered all around the meadow are flat stones, each with its own individual engraved markings set upon it. The orphans came across these stone tiles everyday but they never bothered to ask the staff what they were.

Large, beautiful buildings were also in the meadow. There were about 4 different houses, one for babies, toddlers, kids, and teenagers. Two more buildings were schools for the toddlers/kids and (a separate building) teens. There was a dinner hall and a game center as well. The staff building was shared with the house for the newborns so they could watch over them.

All of these children and teens have been lost. They come from different dimensions, either being kicked out by their family or wandering away into the center of the dimensions. Here, the staff took care of angels, demons, vampires, fairies, chimeras, werewolves, witches, wizards, the super-powered, the swordsmen and women, and one human. The four houses that had been created for each age group were further broken down to fit each kith and kin. The one lonely human, however, had the choice to stay wherever she decided. She had picked between angles and fairies (since the other collections could injure her some way or another) and chose to be with the fairies. When a child enters into the center of dimensions, they loose all memory about their family and their past life. They won’t remember how they had gotten to the meadow, why there were there, or what they were supposed to do. A guard was there day and night to settle in the new comers.

Amber was 11 years old and was the only human at Golden Gate Meadow. Her hair was brown with about 7 highlights of black and 3 of blond. She was basically the trouble-maker of the orphanage. If a prank was to be needed, the best person to go to for a plan would be Amber.

“Please Amber! I really want to get back at him! He’s such a bully!” cried little Antonio. Tears were streaming down the face of the 6 year old boy of a wizard.

“I’m sorry Anty but you’re not payin’ me enough,” replied Amber behind a ebony desk. She was sitting in a large black office chair and had the binds down to set a “mood” as she would call it. There wasn’t very much light in the room even though it was noon outside.

“Oh but can’t you do anything! I know I-I’m asking for a big prank but what about a small one? Worms in his sandwich? Glue on his pillow? Something like that?” Antonio’s black, short hair was now untidy from his crying and shaking his head each time Amber refused one of his offers.

“Well,” thought Amber, “I guess I could do a Z ranked prank for the amount you’re offerin me…You got yourself a deal Anty.” They shook hands, Amber writing down the date and trick down in her diary. Anty quickly stood up from his stood, bowed, then left the room.

A few seconds passed until Leah came in. She was a 16 year old gothic vampire with blood red lipstick on. Amber reached under the desk and put on a necklace of garlic. Leah sat on the stood and waited for Amber to give her the signal to speak.

Amber wrote down one last note to herself then looked up at Leah: the signal.

“The house staff member for the vampires is getting on my nerves,” she said, “Any way you can-like-stop that or something?”

“Please say the ranking of prank you would like Leah,” said Amber in a business tone.

“K ranked.”

“Only K?”

“I don’t have enough on me for anything higher than that.”

“What you got?”

“A pouch of wind energy.”

“Ok then….it’ll happen next week. I’ll give ya more details as the date comes,” said Amber, scribbling the prank in her diary. Leah stood up and left the room. Amber told her to leave the door open so she could see if anyone else was outside. Leah was the last person. Full of relief, she locked the door to the office and walked over to the kid’s house.

As she was walking, she tripped over something in the grass. When Amber turned around to see what it was, it turned out to be her friend Vanessa. Vanessa was a flower fairy and 11 years old like Amber. Being a flower fairy, she is very small, about the size of an unsharpened pencil, and had flower peddles blooming from her back. She, however, doesn’t fly with them for flower fairies have the ability to levitate. Flower fairies come in many different colors, like blue, red, and green, but Vanessa was purple. Her face, arms, hands, legs, and feet were all a cream/peach color. Out of her head, something of a crown (that looked like a flower peddle) grew, its tips being purple. The middle of her body was a lilac color and the peddles on her back were a light purple as well. Her eyes were black dots on her face and her lips were light purple as well as her toe nails and finger nails. Flower fairies didn’t need to wear clothing, since that was their nature, but Vanessa had grown to like having cloth cover her body. Since no other flower fairy liked wearing cloths, Vanessa had learned how to sew clothing her size by herself.

“What are you doing in the grass Vanessa? You’re supposed to be a flower fairy which means camouflaging yourself in flowers,” said Amber.

“But I’m looking for flowers Amber, see?” said Vanessa, holding out the small bits of flower she ripped off the peddles. Her voice was soft and high pitched. Amber just got up from the grass and continued walking to her destination. Vanessa flew on after her. Whenever she flew, purple bubbles that looked like they had come from a lava lamp followed her until she stopped. If she stopped in mid-air, the purple lava bubbles faded away into lavender scented mist.

“Not now Vanessa, I have pranks to come up with,” replied Amber, watching her step as she walked across the meadow to the Kids House as to not step on any fairies playing in the grass. Vanessa flew and stopped on Amber’s nose. The last bits of the lava trail following her popped, the mist making Amber sneeze so hard that Vanessa fell into the grass. “I told you, I’m busy,” said Amber stepping over Vanessa.

“Ok then!” yelled Vanessa in her direction, “I’ll talk to you later…I guess…”
Amber walked on, determined to not be caught up in any more distractions. Suddenly, Rick jumped down from the sky and landed right in front of Amber.

He was 13 and a swordsman. It was rare to see his face since he always wore a black hood over it. His impressive sword was swung around to his back and (with the black robe, shoes, and gloves on) none of his tan skin was visible. “Hey Rick,” said Amber a little shocked from his entrance.

She looked into the sky to see where he could have possibly jumped from. The buildings were to far away at the moment for anyone to jump as far as he just did.

“You have the plans for the next pranks?” he asked walking along her side to the Kids House. His voice was very low and you had to listen hard to hear him.

“Got them all right here,” said Amber, tossing him her diary. He flipped through today’s pages and nodded, giving the book back. Rick was the person who put the pranks into action (since he could easily hid in shadows) while Amber helped out here and there and told him what to do.

“I’ll get started on the blueprints tonight then,” he said as they reached the Kids House. “I got to go get the stuff from the meadow…I’ll see you later.”

He looked up and Amber was able to catch a glimpse of his grey eyes. They looked like they were full of pain and awful memories. Memories, thought Amber.

Rick jumped onto the top of enormous building and before he left Amber cried, “Rick, wait!” He looked down from the top of the house, showing he was paying attention. “Can I ask you a private question?” she said.

Rick looked at the sky; the sun was just beginning to set. He jumped down, picked up Amber, and brought her back up to the top of the building. He set her down on the roof top and walked to the other end, his back towards Amber and looking at the sun set.

Amber go up, dusted herself, then said, “You know how them staff people say we won’t remember our past life since we came here? Well…do-do you remember somethin? I was just wonderin…”

Rick looked out into the sun set silent.

There were flames, flames everywhere…

”Ricky!” It was his friend. He and his friend had been in a church….flames…fire somehow started…

“Ricky get out! I can hold the roof up for only a second!” Rick stood still, completely terrified of the fire. Then, his friend pushed him out of the window, the roof and the rest of the building crushing his friend’s back. One of the swords women outside caught him. Rick looked around to see if his friend was ok…it was too late…A man examined the ruins and found Rick’s friend…

“Better not bring the kid out, it’s pretty ugly. He’s already dead, no point in sending for more help.” Rick’s best friend, the person that comforted him when the rest of his family hated him, gone…forever…

Tears went down his cheeks and he wiped them with his sleeve. Amber saw that he was crying and she quickly ran to his side. “Rick? RICK! RICK!” Each time she said his name, he didn’t pay attention. “RICK!” She grabbed his shoulders and shook him until something wet hit her face. For the first time in her life (that she could remember) she looked at someone with concern in her eyes.

He shook his head repeatedly and lifted his hand in front of her face. Suddenly, Amber’s eyes were flashed with a blinding light. She fell backwards off the building and surprisingly landed on something soft. She looked down to see that a group of fairies had broken her fall. They set her down on the grass and headed toward their appropriate building. Amber looked up but Rick was already gone.

“Amber?” It was Vanessa.

“Yes?”

“It’s time for dinner.”

“Ok let’s go.” Vanessa sat herself on Amber’s shoulder and together they walked to the dinner hall. The walk was silent until Vanessa asked a question.

“Is something bothering you Amber?”

“No….nothin…wrong…” replied Amber.

“Are you sure?” asked Vanessa, “’Cause I can tell you’re lying by the way you’re heart’s pounding.” One of the advantages of being small is if you’re close enough to someone, you will be able to feel their heart racing if they’re lying.

Amber said, “I think….Rick….he might remember something from…his past….”

“So what? We loose our memories but for some reason he still has a small portion of it. What’s the problem?” said Vanessa.

“It seems like it’s bothering him…”

“Well talk about it after lunch,” said Vanessa.

“Why after?”

“There are people around us who could hear this! And Rick’ll know you told…”

They got to the hall. It was already crowded and everyone had to share chairs with someone, small creatures having to sit 5 per seat.

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That's it! Please remember to comment. More will be coming soon!