Contest of 2008 * Join now? *

[PhoenixMuffin]

Story Score
I added bonus points:
FIRST POINT: If it was a good story, or a bad one
SECOND POINT: A unique thing about the story, or a pretty big problem with it
THIRD POINT:If it's finished or not finished
-Baralie85:
A funny story but needed a bit more sense to it and needed some more periods so i can breathe 3nodding

Good Story +1
To mmmmmmmaaaaannnnyyyy long words needs a bit more periods etc. -1
Finished +1

Vote Score:0 +2
Total:2

-Hikari Hinamori:
A great story that had a great words put into it i could clearly see the fox being chased by the other two ( i forgot what they were other foxes? ) any way heres the score

Good Story +1
Can picture in mind +1
Finished +1
Vote Score:2 +3
Total:5

-Garin4EverRocks:
Another great story that had pretty good tension but sadly unfinished...what did the man pout in his pocket maybe you can finish in the story area it would be great!

Good Story +1
Building up tension +1
Unfinished -1
Vote Score:3 +2
Total:5

Uh-oh we have a tie!  

[Rainbow Chip Cookie]

Are we supposed to post the storys here??? If so here it is:


One bright sunny day a little baby fox was playing by her den. “Lilly don’t wander off too far okay! Stay where I can see you.” her mother called. “You know how things have been, there’s to much danger for you to be by yourself! What with all the wars and murders and total chaos!”
“Okay mother!” the little fox replied slightly annoyed “I know, I won’t wander off” Then the little fox heard a sound, a small humming noise.. “Hmm,” she wondered to herself, “I wonder what that sound is.”
The sound got louder as it sang mystically “Come with me small child now. Don’t be scared for I’m here now. The road is long, cold, lonely, and dark. But at the end you’ll find the mark. From there on you’ll be on your own. For you alone can find the stone. With the stone only you can control. Make this broken world a whole. Anything your heart desires. Soon you’ll find it all worthwhile.” The voice chanted the song as a small leaf flew up in the windless air and flew off toward the woods.
The small fox ran after the leaf deep into the dark forest, enchanted by the song. The leaf landed on the ground and became still. A still silence crept over the forest as the scared little fox was suddenly released from the spell. “W-where am I” she thought to herself terrified “I followed the leaf here, but now where am I to go?” She realized she was lost and far from her home, and then the sun began to set. “I followed your stupid sign and now you just stop and leave me here?” She shouted angrily up at the sky.
Then she heard footsteps racing toward her from where she came. Realizing the danger the small fox took off running as silently as she could further down the path past the leaf, terrified as her heart pounded with fear. Then she heard voices not far behind her.
“Hehe I heard someone shouting up ahead, smells like a nice fox dinner!” One deep, rough voice said cruelly.
“Too bad the little ones already heard you you overgrown lump of fur” the other equally cruel voice said “Now we have to chase her down”
“Aww shut up it’s funner this way, besides food always tastes best when seasoned with fear” the first voice said laughing a horrid cruel laugh.
Lilly ran and ran with her heart pounding until she knew she could not run much further, then looking around frantically she noticed light up ahead. She raced toward it as fast as she could hoping it was a way out. As she approached the clearing she saw a huge, perfectly round pool of water with a small waterfall pouring into the pool. At the foot of the waterfall in the exact center of the pool was a single flowering lily pad. “Lilly?” She thought dazed “This must be it” she said diving into the pool hoping the water would wash away her scent. As she opened her eyes underneath the water she saw a small tunnel opening under the waterfall, just big enough for her covered by a rock and some moss. She heard the voice that lead here there chant its song once more.
“Come with me small child now. Don’t be scared for I’m here now. The road is long, cold, lonely, and dark. But at the end you’ll find the mark. From there on you’ll be on your own. For you alone can find the stone. With the stone only you can control. Make this broken world a whole. Anything your heart desires. Soon you’ll find it all worthwhile.”
She swam as fast as she could, not forgetting her pursuers, and went through the tunnel, knocking aside the moss and rocks. It went into the wall, then turned upward into a cave made of crystal. She came in through a small pool of water at the foot of a large shrine-like pedestal, with a small lily made out of gemstones and surging with magic sitting at the top.
She climbed up the pedestal to the gem-lily and reached out for it. It was like there was a barrier around it stopping her, but as she reached out for it she broke through. Just as she picked it up she suddenly woke up, laying in the grass next to her den. She was startled, as the dream seemed so real. But as she looked into her hand, there was the gem, as it had called to her in her dreams. As she clutched it she knew what she had to do. What only she could do.

THE END!