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Infamous Captain Shunsui Captain
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 1:59 pm
Ok so I'm a writer LOL well not really but I do write when I have the chance I usually only right when I'm extremely emotional but when I do It comes out kinda strange I just write off the top of my head and It just comes to me. But This is just a personal Thread for me to get Critiqued on some of my work expect to see more of these from me every now and then But I want the Crew's honest opinion on what they think of some Of my work.. It's cool to bash it if you don't like it thats what being Critiqued is after all but be sure to back it up with reasons why and if you do like it tell me why as well. Not trying to make this a profession or anything Just something to do in my spare Time so here You go Crew Kid Cloud out
The Dreams I sat up in bed sweating that dream again. Why is this happening to me? Why can't I save her? Why this burden on me? Why won't this feeling go away? I can't do anything but watch from the sidelines while she gets beaten in my dream. I can't see who's beating her though, all i see is her yelling calling out for me but I'm frozen there. Can't budge, can't move to help her when she needs me most. Why it's as if I feel the blows he strikes apon her when i wake up. My chest hurts and my pillows soaked from sweat. What is happening to me? This cannot be her future I couldn't let it become her future but how could I prevent my dreams from becoming a reality if I couldn't even decipher reality from a dream? She looks so hurt so helpless tears start to form in my eyes as i remember her face from my dream. As she calls out to me hopelessly "Kid! Kid! I promised her i would always be there for her but in my dreams that promise is broken. Why me though? Why do I have these dreams? These feelings for her what do they all mean? What do i do? I want to keep her safe and happy even if that costs me my own happiness it's my greatest wish and my greatest fear that i could fail just as easily as in my dream. Is that why I'm so protective of her? Is that why I only wish she was mine? because I know the dream could not become a reality if she was with me. She could live happily and I could take care of her and protect her but my dreams prevent this. They show me I'm powerless to her. That I can only do but so much for her. but I won't let my dreams determine my fate. I made a promise and I've never been one to make promises I couldn't keep.
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 4:04 pm
my honesty on how u are doin is a Very Good Job. Ur making alot of post and forums wehich is very good and ur buying wild things and weapons for other people. very generous
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Infamous Captain Shunsui Captain
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 5:23 pm
BurningWarrior my honesty on how u are doin is a Very Good Job. Ur making alot of post and forums wehich is very good and ur buying wild things and weapons for other people. very generous Thanks I do it because yall are my Crew and I'm glad you like everything so far
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Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 10:48 pm
thats deep man real deep...
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Xx-Psycho_Squirrel_Killer
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 3:55 am
Ah, a fellow writer! Very good! I luff your writing style, depressing throughout, but with a little hope at the end~ heart
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:08 pm
before I sign off I wanted to know... how long have you been writin? you have a nice style in the way you write...
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 9:56 am
Man u can write, that was very touching. Hope to see more work.
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:02 am
Thanks for your support veryone I really appreciate it, you'll definetly see more from me in the coming weeks so just keep checking back every now and then
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Infamous Captain Shunsui Captain
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:36 am
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Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 2:48 pm
thats nice keep up the writing its awesome whee
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:40 pm
thats really good and deep but did u get that off of starwars
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 3:55 pm
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Infamous Captain Shunsui Captain
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Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:59 pm
Itachischaos thats really good and deep but did u get that off of starwars Star wars? WTF? LOL who watches star wars LOL nah I wrote that myself a few weeks ago
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Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:44 pm
lol but yea master u got talent
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Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 10:56 pm
Oh my gosh, that was so good that i said "oh my gosh" instead of OMG lol. Dude that deep. That was justwow. Icant beleive you actually wrote that. Im also a writer but I write more to catch the interest of Teenage girls. (wow that sentance really made me sound like a hild mlesterLOL) Anyway, that was really REALLY good. Dont keep that kind of talent hidden. SHOW THE WORLD MUH BRUTHUH!lol I thought this was going to be a forum where we all talk about our dreams LOL. I WAS going to say that one my bro had a dream of a giant red blob eatin his friend the the blob just looked at him and screamed COOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!! LOL whnmy bro told me that i was practically peein muh self LOL tmi? thought so anyway biiz!
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