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 Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 9:28 am
Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to
tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair
and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore,
you don't touch me or any thing. Either you're cheating or you don't
love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Your EX-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite
meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you
had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I
prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed
fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After
all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So
when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home
you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have
the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that
you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born
Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:41 am
dude that is awesome lmao lmao did you come up with that
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:53 pm
this is during the time of 1776,a letter from a daughter in the americas to her parents in england(i did this as a class assignment,but its okay i guess)
Honored ex-mother and ex-father,
i am doing fine in america.all inormallydo is cooking,cleaning,and sewing.You won't belive what my husband looks like!He is the most weirdest personi have ever seen in my life!You say that i will thank you in the end for finding me a rich husband(for your own needs).....but its been 3 years and i still hate you.Which iwhy i haven't written to you in 3 years.But all is well,indians killed my husband last week.I have decided to forgive you, but the next weird looking husband you make me marry will majicaly fall of a cliff.
your dutiful daughter, iceheart heart
(for some reason this letter makes the parents wonder if her husband was realy killed by indians eek )
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 5:08 pm
this post SHOULD be better heart (not a true story)
Dear ex-boyfriend,
i just wanted to tell you....i hate you heart You were the first person dumb enough to cheat on me blaugh congradulations,i am going to make your life a living hell blaugh After i made my dad a promise when i was 9 to stop making guys cry and transfer to a different school...and breaking several bones in their bodieswithout a REAL cause,i have been nice to guys stare But afteri told him you cheated on me...MAN!You should have seen him, he was ablaze!It was AWSOME! heart He also gave me permission to use the hatred locked in my heart for years and make you wishyou comited suicide blaugh Before that feel free to wet yourself,beg,grovel,ove toa different continent,etc. heart But remember, no matter what you do or where you are i will hunt you down like the rat you are heart blaugh
Love, iceheart heart
(there is something about the sweet and calm way she wrote, that makes you even MORE scared eek )
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 5:20 pm
this one is a sequel to the ex-boyfriend one xd (not a true story)
Dear ex-best friend,
I totally know it was you heart I know you stole my boyfirend blaugh Ijust wanted to say.....thank you heart Thank you for showing me what a slimeball he is heart You may be wondering how i know,i may seem like a smiling idiot but i am NOT a smiling idiot blaugh That was to test your loyalty heart It may seem like a coincidence that you saw each other at the mall,but who do you think set that up?(giggle blaugh )I ws having some suspitions already...but the mall incident proved it heart You both are such IDIOTS! blaugh Haha,oh and i dumped him feel free to go after him.(well whats left of him heart [evil giggle])...Oh and i almost forgot....I am going to ruin your life heart Chio heart blaugh
Love, iceheart heart
(still scary when she writes like that eek )
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 5:30 pm
this is a letter to my cousin heart (everything below is TRUE)
Dear ex-cousin,
This is just a fair warning,don't EVER come to america.If you think that i forgot you almost broke my wrist (perposely, and with a wooden brush!)when i was 8, you are sadly mistaken.I had a gaint bruise for 3 months! If you ever come to america i will SO SUE YOU for child abuse!! Of course that is after i throw several items at you...textbook,glass piggy bank, computer,chair,hard wood table, car ,etc. Bye-bye heart
The cousin that HATES YOU, iceheart heart
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 5:53 pm
rofl rofl funny rofl rofl
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 7:35 pm
lolz didja all make this up on your own? i know i can't
lol
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 3:41 pm
That was funny icequeen love the story
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Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 7:00 pm
Dear ex teacher,
i will be tranfering soon,nothing could express my deep hatred twards you heart i am just writting this to tell you how happy i am to never have to see you again heart bye blaugh
Love iceheart
(p.s.i will SO not appoligize forall the things iv done to try and get you to retire heart )
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Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 7:04 pm
dear ex student,
Nothing could express my joy that you are FINALLY leaving! i have never met a little girl more demonic than you, you are worse than satin himeself....please NEVER feel the need to EVER visit me.If i ever see you again i may die from heart failier.
your,ex teacher
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Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 7:10 pm
Dear now my ex,
me and mynew lover are going to the north pole to live in nature with the polar bears.
bye heart
(and yes, i left you for a looney person and poar bears heart )
Love,iceheart heart
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 11:04 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 9:49 pm
Nice, more like this but on other ones too
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 3:30 pm
damn chick... u koo....were do u come up w/ this stuff??? ur good....ill keep reading.... rofl kitty
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