Welcome to Gaia! ::

As I sit atop this skyscraper looking down over this city waiting for someone to die.I wait with two hand sythes on both hands ready to attack the soul of a dead body,so that it could to its place.Then in the distance I hear a crash of two cars."here i go again"i said before jumping off the skyscraper and and begin to freefall towards to ground my cloak blew in wind causing my hood to blow off my head exposing my head causing my blond hair to blow in the wind.When i was close to the ground i start to fall slower intill i came to a stop on the ground.On the ground i saw two dead bodies with there souls beside them. They then saw me and attacked me without warning so i moved out of there way they hit the building that i just jumped off of.


((i'm still working on this story but if you that you think i should chamge just tell me ok))

It's good, but clarify it a bit more. All I understand is that death sits on a building waiting, then finally sees two bodies and goes to do... who knows what, you never explained. Then he gets down there and the souls attack. You should say how they died, what the sceen looked like, the shock of the souls, and why they attacked. I don't understand why they hit the building either. It's good, but it needs some work. Add some adjectives and describe more and it should be one of the best things I've ever read.