Welcome to Gaia! ::

Something fairly recent this time, posted on FF.N just this morning on the date of the second deadline...

----

Disclaimer: I don’t own Final Fantasy VII or anything related, nor am I making any money. I also don't own Batman... though I technically own Catman, which is someone (not giving away who)'s alter-ego.

Now this my darlings, was written for:

Chaos, Star's and Fire's Halloween Challenge:

Can you write a yaoi fic that has us all in stitches? There must be a cat and a costume involved. It is open to anyone and everyone, any series, any pairing (so long as that pairing is yaoi). PM me to apply.

Deadline is Nov 25.

Warnings: Bits of Humor, Random angst (from Reeve) implied Seph/Reno and lots of little children being scarred for life.

----

Reeve sighed, dutifully handing out candy to the trick-or-treaters who had come knocking at his office door. As he cheerfully waved the latest bunch, he wondered how Shinra expected anyone to get anything done with those blasted kids running around, begging for candy.

The visitors were the result of Shinra’s latest goodwill producing campaigns. It was Halloween and as such, the President had asked (ordered) any employee with kids to bring them to work for the day in their cute little costumes as well as asking (ordering) every executive and all the military personnel to stock their offices full of candy. He had then asked (ordered) the children to be released on the upper floors to trick-or-treat.

As far as Reeve knew, he was the only person on this floor who was actually handing out candy. Heidigger was using it as ammo, firing it at any kid who dared step foot near his door. Scarlet was handing out bottles, which had formerly held alcohol. Reeve didn’t know how many she had, but over one hundred and fifty kids had come to her door and she still had plenty more. Palmer was eating his candy in front of the kids and laughing at the ones who cried and Hojo was in his lab (thankfully) where the children didn’t have access.

On the floor above (The Turks and Rufus’s floor), only Elena and Rude were actually participating in the event. Elena was handing out pamphlets and Rude was handing out Rubber Ducks. Vincent, Tseng, Reno and Rufus were nowhere to be found and Reeve had heard the children muttering disappointedly about the absence of General Sephiroth and that the crazy spiky haired man they had found there had ate all the candy in his office. Which Reeve took to mean that the five-some had decided upon having a private party in some unoccupied area of the building.

At least Reeve hoped it was unoccupied. The last thing they needed was some poor three-year old being scarred for life by one of Reno’s ideas. The redheaded Turk may be adorably spastic to some, but when you stopped to think about it, he really was quite disturbing. And dangerous. And malicious. And psychotic.

In fact, if he ever stopped to think about it, there were a lot of similarities between Reno and Sephiroth... Only Reno was more like a squirrel on speed, everywhere and into everything at once. Only Reno was a lot bigger and more dangerous than a squirrel and was capable of causing more damage, as Reeve was well aware. Or rather, as Cait Sith was well aware.

Reeve was still sore about the destruction of his precious Cait Sith models. It seemed the redheaded Turk had something against them because every time he saw one, it usually ended up completely destroyed within the next hour or so.

Reeve had cried when Reno shipped the remains of the first one back to him in a box. The second one had been destroyed in a random explosion in Hojo's lab, or so Reno said when he shoved the charred bow (which was all that was left) at the bearded man. Reeve still didn't quite believe him. But Zack had backed him up, though that didn't mean much, Zack still thought the moon was actually made of cheese. He dreaded to think about what Reno might do to the latest model, he surely had some diabolical plan in mind. It was Halloween after all.

The smell of smoke made him blink and turn to look into his office. The first thing he saw was the Cait Sith was on fire, which sadly was not all that surprising. Usually when he thought of Reno destroying Cait Sith, Reno destroyed Cait Sith, almost as though he was reading the other man's mind. The second thing he saw was the back of a long black cape and a hood-like mask with spike-like protrusions on either side of the head.

"Batman?!" Reeve asked incredulously, staring at the intruder. The person in the cape jumped and turned to face him, cape swirling dramatically.

"No...I am Catman." The intruder announced proudly, placing his hands on his hips and smirking at Reeve. The executive blinked again, staring at Reno, for only Reno was brave enough to wear a cape and mask with a pair of extremely tight leather pants and a bondage collar with a chain draped over his bare chest. Reeve sighed.

"How did you get in here?" He would have noticed for sure if he had tried to sneak by him in that getup and the window was locked. Reno/Catman smirked, pointing to the now open air vent. The lid had been hastily shoved off, having been hastily glued on after the last time someone had come hurtling in through the vents. Now that he thought about it, that had been Reno too.

"Arrrgghhhh I is burning alive." Cait sith announced in a monotone robotic voice. Reeve pinched at the bridge of his nose as the fire alarm finally started to go off, sprinkling water from the ceiling. Cait Sith's AI always was stupid when it was in the process of being ruined beyond all repair. It made Reeve want to bash his head up against the nearest solid object.

The water and Reno singing 'burn, burn, burn' while dancing around Cait Sith was not helping alleviate that urge in any way. Reeve suddenly wished he hadn't bothered to come to work today. It was not like anyone would miss him aside from Reno and the redhead would only miss him because he wanted to destroy Cait Sith.

Thinking about that made him kind of sad. He did not get along with any of his coworkers, though he was the only executive that both the Turks and SOLDIER would speak civilly to without any hidden jibes about his character. Which was not anything to be proud of, it just meant that they thought he was too nice to be part of Shinra. He couldn't really say he had any close friends aside from his cat (his real cat mind you, not Cait Sith). It was actually kind of sad.

It was funny how one's possessions being on fire with a barely dressed super hero dancing about the blaze made one think about these things. Reeve didn't know how the sad state of his life related to the chaotic events going on in his office, but the human mind was an odd thing and it was best not to ask questions.

The last time he had asked questions about the human mind, the company psychologist had thrown himself out the window. Though that had more to do with the insanity that made up the majority of Shinra than Reeve did, who was apparently the sanest man in the building (according to the psychologist).

"You know what?" Reno's voice broke through Reeve's thoughts, bringing the executive back to the world of the living. Reeve blinked, turning his head to look at the green-eyed man. Reno stared back, a small smirk on his face as he grabbed hold of Reeve's arm. "You think too much."

Reeve's eyes cross as Reno poked him in the nose, giggling as he proceeded to drag Reeve off to whereabouts unknown. "Come on, let's get back to the party... Sephiroth owes me a lap dance."

Reeve blinked again, not really knowing what one should say to that. He wondered if this meant the Turk considered him a friend. Because he certainly wasn’t his enemy, Reeve had seen what horrors the man had inflicted on Hojo. He blinked as Reno’s hand shifted down to hold his own and squeezed, the redhead grinning back at him from underneath that ridiculous mask as Reno led him to the unofficial Halloween party.

Unsure of what to do, Reeve smiled back, feeling slightly relieved when he was rewarded with a blinding smile and an arm slung about his shoulders as he guided him down the hallway to one of the many conference rooms.

"Mommy, that man looks like a stripper!"

This had to be simultaneously the best and the most awkward moment of his life.

----

Reeve makes me want to strangle him. It's always thoughts, thoughts, thoughts with him. Even the most simple of actions requires paragraphs... However, I think it's worth it in the end, don't you?

Feel free to comment/point out any mistakes, I'm always open to feedback and I usually respond promptly...

I think very few things come close to my chibi-Seph fic... other than my other chibi-Seph (and everyone else) Fic.

My Reeve is a very, very dull person, unless he's pissed off at someone and then everything goes out the window. I don't write with him much, especially from his point of view, because every sentence of dialogue takes three paragraphs.

Reno however, I write with a lot. My Reno is a wonderfully spazzy, hyperactive prankster and is such a joy to write.

And yes, this is heavily AU, based in my Turks and Toothbrushes drabble-verse. I tend to make up my own rules at times, so Vincent is still there and Sephiroth is not insane... And Hojo is constantly pranked and tortured.

*laughs* Then maybe I'll post it up here, the response for it has been better than I expected...

Quite possibly because there's not even the slimmest chance that I will write slash with anyone under 15-16. And if I do, it's totally innocent puppy love which can simply be taken as little kids being cute...

*ponders* That's actually a good idea... *sees it come together in her mind* Maybe if they were locked in a room for 24 hours...

I just might have to write that... *is planning a massive update next week along with the introduction of several new fics.*

*laughs* Do I have any fics with Reno in it? All my versions of Reno are wonderfully spazzy.

Let's see, there's Turks and Toothbrushes, Vents, Life with the Triplets (the other chibi-Seph fic), Of Pants and Ice, Letters from a Pyromaniac, and finally 'The Drunken Trilogy' (I love you when I'm Drunk, Not Drunk enough and I hate you when I'm sober)... The majority of these are shonen-ai (I switch between Seph/Reno and Tseng/Reno) and Letters of a Pyromaniac doesn't make any sense unless you read the companion piece, Letters from a One-Winged Angel (by Firehedgehog) at the same time.

There's also three more, but I won't mention them because they're so old... and at the moment I kind of hate them.

*grins evilly* Oh yes, Hojo is a wonderful target. I have an entire fic dedicated to Hojo-torture (not bashing mind you, but just plain bad luck, I actually somewhat like Hojo) which Spazzy!Reno also makes an appearance too... *grins chesirely* That one's a bit popular too, I constantly get ideas pouring in.... Everyone wants to see something.

Tell me when you finish with it, ^^ I'd certainly love to read it. Especially with there being so few decent fics out there, I have to search for hours to find one that I can read without flinching, cringing or swearing at...

*shudders* I absolutely refuse to have them do anything more than a simple kiss on the cheek and holding hands. The Naruto fandom makes me sick at times, even if they are trained killers, they are not going to be having sex with one another at that age.

*shudders again* Is it just me, or does that entire fandom seem to be full of ***** and hormonal preteens?

*grins widely* I am going to have soo much fun with that prompt... Reno, Sephiroth, Vincent, Tseng and Zack are perhaps the easiest characters for me to write. *smirks* And I'm apparently really good at coming up with believable actions for the oddest circumstances.

Some people don't know the difference between bashing and torturing. But I happen to think my Hojo is adorable....

And easily freaked out by guys (specifically Reno, Vincent and Sephiroth) molesting other guys... *chesire grin* and deathly afraid of spoons. I have such fun writing him.

Nah, doesn't bother me as much with Cloud, simply because he seemed so mature in the game. *shrugs* For some reason he falls under my radar, though I usually write him as a sixteen year old...

*chesire grin* I don't mind innuendo and I certainly don't mind threesomes (considering I'm supposed to be writing one for a friend of mine.)... I probably should warn you though, if you ever read any of my off-site stuff, I do occasionally write smut. *coughs* and from what I've been told, it's pretty good.

I don't often tread in the Naruto fandom, it scares me greatly and my younger sister being a heavy SasukexSakura fan doesn't help any. Though I don't mind KakaIru as much, but there's one pairing another friend of mine writes and it's decent. Though most of it's smut, but it's still decent and they're certainly old enough to not set off my mental alarms.

*nods* Have to agree with you there, anything that becomes popular immediately becomes overidden with Mary-sues and badly written slash. *shudders*

*nods* It's especially fun when someone gives you a completely outrageous challenge and you somehow turn it into a good story... I like being able to get into the heads of different characters, and I have a special spot in my heart for Yazoo for some odd reason, even though I rarely write with him.

I think the oddest challenge I've ever gotten was....Rufus/Sephiroth, snowglobe, fuzzy slippers. Surprisingly that one turned out rather well... and was somewhat amusing too.

*laughs* I like Cloud, it's just that he's so dull when compared with the others... My favorites from FFVII are Reno, Sephiroth, Tseng, then Cloud and Zack. I like Kadaj, but I like Yazoo better *thinks Yazoo is sweet.*Heh, all three make an appearance in my other chibi-Seph fic (Life with the Triplets) though. And they are absolutely adorable. ^^.

*nods* That I can understand, I usually warn people or try to... I must be doing rather well since I've never been flamed despite the fact that I occasionally write highly offensive material. Meh, I don't mind. The majority of my writing is dark-ish and angsty.

^^ and my smut is posted on my LJ and my AFF account, and what little is on FF.N is highly edited. I'm kind of paranoid about kids reading it, so I don't really advertise it. *sweatdrops* though some are a bit mushy... but only in parts, to finish off the fic with a good feeling.

*blinks* Honestly? I did the exact same thing, I read it in the very first issue of Shonen Jump, decided I liked it and went out and bought the first volume of the manga. Then... a year or so later, it was released on Cartoon network and my brat of a sister decided she liked it and stole my manga. *shudders* Naruto's voice actor should be drug into the streets and shot in the back of the head.

I think it was Kotetsu/Raidou... or something like that. I just know that my friend writes it realistically, not all mush and 'oh I love you, let's have sex that doesn't hurt because we're in love'. *grumbles* Yaoi-fans nowadays.

I... do not like any of those pairings. Sometimes I can stand it when the fic is really good and it's barely mentioned, but other than that... I think Cloud regards Tifa more as a sister than anything, and I think the fascination with Aeris was something Zack left behind. Personally, I think he's in love with Sephiroth and in denial. Or Kadaj, I happen to have a soft spot for Kadaj/Cloud.

*nods* That irritates me. So very much at times. x_X my little cousins didn't even know Lord of the Rings was a book, even though I usually cart it with me whenever I go to their house and read it in the living room. (My aunt would disapprove of any really interesting book and I'm usually forced to stay there for weeks.)

Rufus/Sephiroth isn't one of my favorites either... I only wrote it once (that challenge) and left it alone. And I think I somehow managed to work in Vincent/Reno/Tseng into that one as well without being too obvious.

*laughs* Exactly. He's fun to play with, but other than that he really doesn't stand out. *Chesire grin* And everyone knows Seph is really into Bondage, look at his outfit. And got Cloud into it too...

Poor Loz, I adore him so... Though Yazoo is my favorite out of the three... But Loz is cute too, especially when he's chibi and won't stop crying... *is really thinking about posting that up here now.* I like Aeris, as long as she's well written/not all 'Cloud is mine b*tch'. But my favorite would have to be Yuffie, followed by Elena, Aeris and Scarlet...

*shrugs* I honestly don't know why I like Scarlet...

Warnings are always good. I usually post warnings in three areas, summary, author's notes and the actual warnings section. I'm paranoid about scarring the minds of children, especially since I know what I was reading at that age...

*Winces* Is it really that bad in the fanfiction subforum? I've only put one thing up there (Life with the Triplets, though it's extremely screwed up). Didn't get much of a response, but that's probably because FF7 isn't exactly 'popular'. That kind of scares me though, I tend to point out when people aren't following the rules and do my best to help out... Which is probably why I've stayed away from that forum... All the bad grammar and spelling scares me...

*smirks* All right, since you're over 18 I really don't mind.... It's when 13 year olds ask me for links to my smut that I twitch. *has honestly had this happen* Tis why my recent stuff is posted on AFF, where they can't (legally) get to it. Give me a second or so to find it and I'll send you the link. *blinks* Also, I feel I should warn you, the majority of my smut could be teemed offensive to some people. There's... two pairings that are yaoi twincest and one that's a digimon/human.

-_-; I usually write smut for bribes/people's birthdays and let them pick the pairing... And... I'm obsessed with Darc/Kharg, (Twincest, Arc the Lad: Twilight of Spirits.) Just thought I'd warn you, just in case.

True, death is kind of harsh... But so is that voice *shudders*. Totally ruins a good character. Be glad, my sister steals my manga all the time, and wants to play my games, which I wouldn't mind so much if she'd actually play them instead of loading my data and running around like an idiot.

My mom likes DBZ, so she really can't say much about it. *makes a shushing noise* If I can find it, I'm buying her the first season for Christmas.

I don't tread in the KH fandom often (usually only when my friends tell me I should read something or the other), because the majority of the fics piss me off. There are a few good ones, but they usually take hours to find.... FF.N standards have dropped and I'm not desperate enough to wander around AFF (*wails* Oh the mind-scarring porn)... yet. I don't like predictable fics as much, partly because I dislike writing them myself.

*nods* Yes, she did let them beat him up... And it was her fault her father beat him as well. Then the whole identity crisis was entirely her fault as well, with that one simple promise, she forced him to become a SOLDIER and caused a mental breakdown. *Blames Tifa for the entire game*.

What's your view on Rinoa? I tend to think that the only reason Squall did anything for her was a.)Because it was his job, b.) Because Seifer had her first, and c.) because she reminded him of Ellone. I'm a hardcore believer in the Seifer/Squall relationship. Seifer may have been an a**, but he was always (semi) nice to Squall.

My aunt is one of those... Christians. I live deep in the bible-belt (North Carolina). Where people can't even read Harry Potter without some sort of drama over it. So if I don't want to start a world war, I have to be careful with what I bring... I thank the gods that I've been deemed a bad influence.

*Chaos wants to friend you as well, and has done so.*

Dirge of Cerberus is fun. Extremely fun. And Vincent is extremely pretty, no matter what form he takes. And Tifa shall be forever doomed to be a support character... Unless of course one of my reviewers (50th, 80th, 100th, 200th, 400th) happen to demand I write Shoujo-ai... again. Though that oneshot was extremely cute.

*laughs* You really found a name tag with that on it? I want one with Kuja's name... Just because Kuja's awesome. And I rarely pair Scarlet with anyone. Just because the thought makes my skin crawl.

It takes me forever to write smut because it has to be in character and have a plot of some sort besides having sex. Which is why the majority of my smut is somewhat sweet. I'm the same way, the only reason my Reno is so wonderfully spazzy is because I've worked with him... a lot.

*blinks* Then maybe I should stalk her and tell her to knock it off. I'm a scary person to be stalked by... or so I've been told by my sister, who doesn't count because she is weird. *nods* It piles up pretty quick on FF.N too, but I think Gaia is looser with the rules, not being a fanfiction site and all.

*laughs and is glomped/* I don't think any are acting out of character. Or at least the character I've set for them, I tend to have an odd view of things and take into account events other people don't.

Flame wars seem like a waste of time to me and kind of childish. I mean, you don't have to read it if you don't want to so why flame people about it. Flamers irritate me.

*blinks* And would you know, I've actually read those pairings except for the last. But haven't wrote them. I usually stick to Darc/Kharg and Vergil/Dante... Fandoms where they're the only pretty boys.

*sighs as well* Quite possibly because my sister is one of those non-cool fangirls that seem to be swarming the net lately. She can't even spell correctly and seems to be more into socializing on the net (and attract people who like to hack us and send viruses) than writing or doing something useful.

I wonder why I let her breath at times.

You haven't played it? It's one of the easiest Final Fantasies ever (I've played all but III and XI so this is an informed opinion)... And Squall is even more awesome in his own game... But he's prettier in KH... And he looks a lot more like his Daddy. Poor Laguna, he doesn't even get a mention in Kingdom Hearts.

Oh, we're pretty open-minded here surprisingly... guys making out in school and all *cheers this on when she sees it*. It's just my aunt and the other crazy religous people who kick up a fuss.