|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 10:02 pm
doesnt have a name
hiding in your shadow of guilt
what once was love
what once was true
what now is gone and lost forever
to fogive you or not..
the pressure is building on my shoulders
its pushing
too hard now
for too long
i can no longer hold the weight of 1 thousand lies
from you
from my tearing whimper of a voice
telling you to stop
stop the tourture
the tourture of you
your face
your voice
your lies of "i love you"
maybe you dont even realize
the pain
too much for me
too much for one to handle
so i take it out
on myself
harsh nights
alone in my room with my notebook
hours it seems
thinking of you......
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 10:03 pm
this one is supposed to be a song kinda im working on it being a song but for right now its just a poem
how could you?
sometimes i look around and actually see pure joy....
but then i look harder and see that actually we are all secretly hiding a frown and a tear..
fake smiles dont fool me i know what is being covered
nothing but a broken heart
right down the middle you tore it appart
leaving nothing but shards of a broken past
now im running
crawling
squirming away from what might be hope
i dont believe in hope anymore it no longer exsists in my mind because you ripped it out
how could you?
what little history there is is crushed and the splinters of memories stab at me and scar my
faith
you left me in the empty room that was once my heart with a space for you
why dont you just leave me to be with my secret frown?
my secret tear?
stop thinking i love you because there is no way that i can after you destroyed what i thought
may have been somthing to last
but no
now im running
crawling
squirming away from what might be hope
i dont believe in hope anymore it no longer exsists in my mind because you ripped it out
how could you?
what little history there is is crushed and the splinters of memories stab at me and scare my
faith
alone i lay in my bed nothing to ponder but my broken heart
staring into the blank empty space
i see the spot where you once were
smiling
caring
loving
gone
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 10:07 pm
ehh after reading them both the first one pwns the second ones butt
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:51 pm
They are interesting to say the least...however I must take more time to analyze them. Also, sense this is a sub-forum for short stories and such, I'm going to move this to the main forum where all of the poetry threads are located.
Honest mistake and such.
--Kharne Bloodhowler, Vice-Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kharne Bloodhowler Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 4:08 pm
don't apologize for your poems, when you obviously put so much of your self into them. I think they really are lovely, and you did a good job with not making the freeform cumbersome in the first one. Keep it up!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 6:21 pm
thank you very much ^_^ ppl dont post alot in this fourm i can see it took forever for someone to actually say somthing about it 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:21 pm
Yeah, it used to be pretty active...when there were just a few of us here. But over time, it's kinda went down the drain. But for those that do aprticipate in the guild, we stay up.
I'm sorry myself for not having commented either of your poems yet. I will try to do so this weekend.
Oh...and I wanted to tell you... I think I'm gonna like you. I mean...from your name...signature...interest in Twilight...You sound pretty awesome. XD Cause, I love MCR, Green Day, and Twilight. XD
I'll be around (obviously) and I'll try to come back here soon to comment.
Oh, and Welcome to the Guild. ^ ^
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 5:14 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:42 am
Works of literary art....
-Yuki
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 5:56 pm
although I merely skimmed them, they seem to have much potential, except I can't see the second one being turned into a song--but since I don't compose much I may be wrong
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:08 pm
I like the unnamed one a lot. It's very good, and the topic seems familiar to me. Thinking can be a very painful thing to do at times. Thinking unlocks everything, all of the secrets in your mind, the ones you keep from yourself. It's nicely written. Nice. XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
