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 Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:05 pm
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a beer is. The bartender goes, "For you? No charge"
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:06 pm
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel sticking out of the front of his pants.
The bartender goes, "Hey, you've got a ship's wheel sticking out the front of your pants!"
The pirate responds, "Yarrrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:08 pm
A kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "That'll be $10" and adds, "Hey we don't get many kangaroos coming in here!"
The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, that's not hard to understand!"
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Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:09 pm
A bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
.....
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.....and some of those peanuts."
The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?"
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 9:02 am
lol. Where do you get half this stuff anyways?
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 10:57 am
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "I'll have a beer, and one for the road."
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 10:58 am
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer and a mop."
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 11:01 am
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 11:10 am
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. He tells the bartender that the newt's name is Tiny.
"Why?" asks the bartender.
"Because he's my newt!" replies the man.
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 12:33 pm
Two guys walk into a bar. One hits his head.
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 5:27 am
A Latin scholar walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a martinus."
The bartender asks him. "Don't you mean martini?"
The scholar tells the bartender, "Listen, if I wanted two or more drinks I would have asked for them!"
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 5:30 am
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He says, "I'd like a beer for me and one for my giraffe." The two stand around drinking for hours until the giraffe passes out on the floor. The man pays the tab and gets up to leave. The bartender says, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' on the floor!" The man says, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 5:31 am
A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its two hind legs and starts swinging him around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, what are you doing?" And the blind man says, "Don't mind me. I'm just looking around."
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 8:43 am
A doctor has a regular habit of stopping off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knows of his habit, and always has the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approaches, the bartender is dismayed to find that he is out of hazlenut extract. Thinking quickly, he throws together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and sets it on the bar. The doctor comes in at his regular time, takes one sip of the drink and exclaims, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"
"No, I'm sorry", replies the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 8:44 am
A cheeseburger walks into a bar and orders a drink.
"Sorry." says the bartender. "We don't serve food here."
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