Welcome to Gaia! ::

Different- Version One

Walkin’ through the crowded halls
Hearin’ the whispers following everywhere,
“Different! She’s different from us!”
Wearin’ black shirts and cutoff jeans, crosses and glasses
Black claws for nails, a sweatshirt for a shroud.
“Different!”
A bump in passing. “Watch where you’re going, b***h!”
A murmured response, no more than a sigh
“Different!”
Not talking, only sitting, staring at nothing and everything
A blank gaze looks through the universe within.
“Different!”
Dark hair, dark eyes, dark lips, pale skin
All strangers to this world.
“Different!”
Eyes chocolate brown burn with a mysterious fire
Dark energy surrounds, but never consumes.

Walking out, finally free, but still silent, no emotion
Some say she’s an angel, others a devil, but all say,
“Different!”
A flash of steel, a line of blood
A tongue to catch the falling drops.
“Different!”
Swirling ecstasy, coming back to earth
Just from that small taste of life’s wine.
“Different!”
Watching the ground moving along,
Walking alone, always alone.
“Different!”
Somebody calls, no one is home
Lost to the world, always alone.
“Different!”
A body moving through the world,
Always wandering, always wondering.

A familiar face, a pause in stride
Recognition shows in those burning eyes.
“Different!”
Long dead emotions begin to thaw
A human being starts to emerge.
“Different!”
Blonde brown hair and light blue eyes say hello
A pale hand reaches out to support.
“Different!”
A reassuring smile, a worried frown, icy eyes all around
Show signs of a power awaking inside.
“Different!”
An intense silent conversation initiates
And problems are exchanged and solved.
“Different!”
A small smile appears and the sun shows its face
Only to be swallowed up by the moon’s pale glow.
“Different!”
Two who understand each other walk away together
They look to the stars for something much better.

Different? Different? Yeah, that’s me.
But the same as everyone else in some way.
Those who cry out, “Different! Different!”
Are the same as those in a cave long ago,
Being fooled by shadows.
But then one broke free and opened her eyes to see.
“Different!”
Can you guess who it was? It was me,
Different to the very end of time.

Thoughts

Thoughts…
Maddening and evil
A dark prison
Tormenting the soul
Comforting in its own way
Deceiving, waiting

Time is lost…
The prison is breaking
Undetectable
More dangerous now
Emotions trapped in
A vacuum, forgotten
No way to return

Holes appear
Shadows grow stronger
Unbearable primal thirst
Prison demons wait for
The time to escape

CRACK! The release
No recollection of time
No thoughts, only instinct
No pain…

Time returns to normal
As you look down at the blood
Tears fall, but no sadness
No remorse, no feelings
No guilt…nothing

An Angel

Forgotten one, sitting alone
Why do you wait for answers that do not come?
Alone in the darkness, dispel the shadows
And keep trying to put your life together
With floating pieces, though you grow weary
Someone is near you always,
Sitting,
Listening,
Watching,
Waiting,
Waiting for the day they can finally show you
The truth that’s revealed inside.
So lost one, all alone, wrapped up in shadow,
Shadow caused by the littlest star, have faith!
The heavens rejoice with the light of
The star and they sing
But even in singing, they do not forget you,
O lonely creature of darkness. ‘You are
Not ready,’ the little star says, ‘Just wait!’
Ask you ask yourself why you wait
And go back to the puzzle that is your life
Someone is watching you.
Guess who? An angel.




For Charles...

I Will Find a Way

Is there anyone out there
Who can hear my plea?
I have been asking it
Of you endlessly

When I looked you in the face and then
I asked my question yet again
You said you didn’t understand
You turned away and left me to stand

Alone in a void full of darkness
I was trapped in a whirlpool of
Hate and loneliness. No one to
Talk to, nobody cared

So waiting for you in the darkness
A shadow entered and enveloped my heart
It asked me why I waited for one who
Would never come again

I spurned it, ignored its poisoned words
And continued to wait patiently for you
I waited through eternity, trying
To ignore the shadow’s vile taunts

Finally I saw that the shadow was right
And gloating, it received my body and mind
Suddenly, there was another in the void
One I could relate to, confess and cry to

For another eternity, we became friends
And then you appeared beside me again
You were angry with me for waiting
You said that I was stupid for staying

You tore out my heart and
Ripped it to shreds, laughing
As I wept tears of blood. You
Slaked your thirst in my pain…

I fell back and hit the sky
Like Jeanne D’Arc, consumed by
Flames and voices, driving me
Insane, while staring at you. And yet…

I’m still drawn to you, your
Dark and terrible power over
Me is growing stronger,
It is hard to resist…

You call me, soulless, to your side
Tell me to die and I will die
Tell me to lie and I will lie
Tell me to love and truly I will try

It’s not always easy, living
This life, but I do it every day
And please believe me when I say
I’ll do it through eternity and I will find a way.

Reflection

Hello once again.
Do I know you?
Are you me?
Am I you?

Why?
Why do you look different
from me? Is there
Something wrong?

Older? Wiser?
Younger? Weaker?
Why are you different?
Aren't we the same?

Your face seems colder
And your eyes darker
Your limbs are stronger
Your skin is like marble

So ask once again
As I know I always will:
Why are you different?
Aren't we the same?

I rasie my hand to touch
Your face. You reach out
And do the same. We're
At each other's throats

Do you want to die? If
I die, you will too...
Or will you live on, the
Sad reflection of a memory?

Written for a Poetry Slam at Bumbershoot, our local arts festival in late summer.

You Never Cared

The night has grown so cold
The stars have all stopped shining
Alone among the millions
I cry my final wish

I thought you were the one,
The star amidst the darkness
But you left me all alone
I scream away the loneliness

You hurt me deeply inside
Passing me over
I just came along for the ride

I see now, you never cared for me
How could I have been so blind?
Not to see the rage and pain?
I hate you, and I loved you

But you never noticed
You never cared for me

I Built My House...

I built my House in darkest Night
Where none live to tell
Of my pets that are not of the Light
Great demons of deepest Hell

I built my House in brightest Flame
Where souls recieve their life
This beast of mine is hard to tame
Pestilence, Hunger, Death and Strife.

I built my house in deepest Sin
The Homonculi have come for my kin
Ouroborous-Snake their sigil
As they continue their endless vigil

I built my House in Abyss so wide
The flames so hot I must have died
The tongues of fire twist and wind
Slowly they consume my mind...