Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well, the barren expanses, the raining fire, and the blood soaked stones jutting out of the oily water, don't drink that by the way, should paint a pretty clear picture. But, just to absolutely sure everyone's on the same page, I'm here to inform you that you've just entered into Baator, the infamous Inferno, the last stop for the real Bad Guys, H-E-Double hockey sticks.
You're here to suffer for your actions in the mortal plane at the hands of our highly trained torturers until your worthless husk has been purged of all identity. You'll be expected to follow every rule to the letter or suffer even greater punishments. Your very existence is now subject to the whim of the Nine Lords.
In short, Welcome to Hell!

Now I'm sure most of you have a lot of questions.
Why am I here? "Is this because I tazered all those nuns?" "Did I kick one too many puppies?" "I guess you really can trade your immortal soul for a Big Mac..."
What happens now? "Can I work it off to get into heaven?" "Do I get my own pitchfork?" "Can I ask to be done medium rare, or is it all just well done"?
And of course, "Who the Hell are you?"

So, in my infinite wisdom and benevolence, I, Tal, Lord of the First, Archduke of Avernus, Leader of Hell's Armies, have constructed a guide just for the freshly damned soul, you. Don't you feel special?

Also, those of you who are here for reasons other than damnation might want to stick around as I've prepared a guide to the various regions of Baator to help preserve order. And we do like our order here.

First, to answer why you're here. I don't have the specific details, but you can bet they've been recorded and can be found in our extensive filing system. Whatever devil "Made you do it" should be sending along a crew to pack you up and take you to the appropriate level.

What levels? Well I'm glad you asked.

So, after you've been fetched, you can get started on what you're really here for, mind shattering, world twisting, soul rending torture! After a short time, (Well, short from my perspective, to you it will seem like an eternity of suffering.) your mind will melt away, and your husk will be tossed into one of our treatment sites, and after a brief wait, you'll be reborn* as one of the building blocks of Hell! The lowly, but ever present, lemure! From there, the sky's the limit. Although it's true most never make it past the their first few days without some higher demon turning them into goo, if you can manage to hang on long enough, and do some good around here, you can eventually apply for a promotion!
If you're interested in details, here they are!