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Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:43 pm
nodoka knocks on the door of the dorm he shared with asuna and konoka. "come in" says negi "umm..hi negi" nodoka says "ah nodoka, come sit down would you like some thing to eat or drink" asked negi "no...wait there is some thing i want" said nodoka as she stared hungily at negi. "nodoka why are you looking at me that way?" asked negi nervesly as nodoka came closer and closer until she had negi against the wall as she came closer and closer to his face to kiss him. "nodoka wait... Wwe..shouldn't" negi said as it was too late they were kissing and he felt powerless to stop her because deep down he didn't. he went along with it all the way to the floor as nodoka became more and more agressive as they made out on the floor and then she stoped and walked over to the door and locked it and sat on the bed "negi come here" nodoka said dreamily as negi aproched the bed and embraced her and kissed her then she took off his shirt and then he took off her shirt and they continued to make out as negi caressed her thigh and then they heared a key in the door then asuna walked in and gasped "NEGI YOU PERVERDED LITTLE FREAK WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH NODOKA IN KONOKA'S BED!" yelled asuna "what is it asuna what's wrong"konoka said from asuna side "COME AND SEE FOR YOUR SELF" asuna yelled "asuna please its my fault i was the one who lead him over here it's my fault and.."nodoka broke off and ran out of the room crying "WAIT NODOKA,NODOKA!" yelled negi as he chased after. she ran into her dorm and slamed the door shut and locked it "nodoka it's not your fault please nodoka open the door " negi said "but it is negi it is i shouldn't have done that i just kind of lost control of myself and..."nodoka broke off and began to cry "nodoka i lost control of my self too i didn't exatly stop you when i should of you know" said negi "but i started it and.." sobbed nodoka "negi if you don't mind i just what to be alone right now so i'll talk to you later" sobbed nodoka before she began to weep "just remember i'll always be here for you" negi said as his eyes began to fill with tears and then he began to walk to his dorm he opened the cautiously to see if asuna was still mad "hi negi" asuna said "hello asuna are you still mad" negi murmured "no, not anymore you just suprised me thats all, so is nodoka alright" asked asuna "i think so, i will try to talk to her tomorrow" negi said "alright but negi please be sensitive to nodoka feelings when you talk to her okay" said asuna "and negi try to get some sleep" she said "okay then good night asuna "said negi "good night and try not to dream about her" said asuna "okay asuna goodnight"negi said and then he went to bed.
THE END (till next time)
tell me what you think about this fanfic that i wrote and tell me if you think i could be a good novelist
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Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 7:13 pm
good but you need to separate it so it's not one giant paragraph.
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Darth_Magus1 Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 9:01 pm
*clears throat... a couple times* right... well... it's.... decent. let's leave the like it or not at that.
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Posted: Tue Oct 09, 2007 10:32 pm
negimafan567 nodoka knocks on the door of the dorm he shared with asuna and konoka. "come in" says negi "umm..hi negi" nodoka says "ah nodoka, come sit down would you like some thing to eat or drink" asked negi "no...wait there is some thing i want" said nodoka as she stared hungily at negi. "nodoka why are you looking at me that way?" asked negi nervesly as nodoka came closer and closer until she had negi against the wall as she came closer and closer to his face to kiss him. "nodoka wait... Wwe..shouldn't" negi said as it was too late they were kissing and he felt powerless to stop her because deep down he didn't. he went along with it all the way to the floor as nodoka became more and more agressive as they made out on the floor and then she stoped and walked over to the door and locked it and sat on the bed "negi come here" nodoka said dreamily as negi aproched the bed and embraced her and kissed her then she took off his shirt and then he took off her shirt and they continued to make out as negi caressed her thigh and then they heared a key in the door then asuna walked in and gasped "NEGI YOU PERVERDED LITTLE FREAK WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH NODOKA IN KONOKA'S BED!" yelled asuna "what is it asuna what's wrong"konoka said from asuna side "COME AND SEE FOR YOUR SELF" asuna yelled "asuna please its my fault i was the one who lead him over here it's my fault and.."nodoka broke off and ran out of the room crying "WAIT NODOKA,NODOKA!" yelled negi as he chased after. she ran into her dorm and slamed the door shut and locked it "nodoka it's not your fault please nodoka open the door " negi said "but it is negi it is i shouldn't have done that i just kind of lost control of myself and..."nodoka broke off and began to cry "nodoka i lost control of my self too i didn't exatly stop you when i should of you know" said negi "but i started it and.." sobbed nodoka "negi if you don't mind i just what to be alone right now so i'll talk to you later" sobbed nodoka before she began to weep "just remember i'll always be here for you" negi said as his eyes began to fill with tears and then he began to walk to his dorm he opened the cautiously to see if asuna was still mad "hi negi" asuna said "hello asuna are you still mad" negi murmured "no, not anymore you just suprised me thats all, so is nodoka alright" asked asuna "i think so, i will try to talk to her tomorrow" negi said "alright but negi please be sensitive to nodoka feelings when you talk to her okay" said asuna "and negi try to get some sleep" she said "okay then good night asuna "said negi "good night and try not to dream about her" said asuna "okay asuna goodnight"negi said and then he went to bed. THE END (till next time) tell me what you think about this fanfic that i wrote and tell me if you think i could be a good novelist trying to make Asuna jealous?? lol
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Darth_Magus1 Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:11 am
It could have been better, way better. Thats all im saying, i have a fan-fiction also but im still writing the second chapter.
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Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2007 8:31 pm
eto... might as well say this. I'm a fanfic writer too. ask nodoka-chan for the link cause I'm too lazy XD
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Darth_Magus1 Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 3:18 am
thanks for the heads up LOL
I just wrote one...it's a bit evil though... a Negima one so PM me if you want to read it, it's probably part 1 if anyone's interested
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Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:54 pm
From now on put your fanfics in the Fab Creations subforum
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Darth_Magus1 Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 1:06 pm
shameless shrilling here people!! part 4 of my insane story has been put up on fanfiction.net under my name moffattbooks. it's only for 18 and over so you've been warned lol...or else EM will get you!! Right EM?, What he said!
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Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 2:43 pm
Quote: nodoka knocks on the door of the dorm he shared with asuna and konoka. "come in" says negi "umm..hi negi" nodoka says "ah nodoka, come sit down would you like some thing to eat or drink" asked negi "no...wait there is some thing i want" said nodoka as she stared hungily at negi. "nodoka why are you looking at me that way?" asked negi nervesly as nodoka came closer and closer until she had negi against the wall as she came closer and closer to his face to kiss him. "nodoka wait... Wwe..shouldn't" negi said as it was too late they were kissing and he felt powerless to stop her because deep down he didn't. he went along with it all the way to the floor as nodoka became more and more agressive as they made out on the floor and then she stoped and walked over to the door and locked it and sat on the bed "negi come here" nodoka said dreamily as negi aproched the bed and embraced her and kissed her then she took off his shirt and then he took off her shirt and they continued to make out as negi caressed her thigh and then they heared a key in the door then asuna walked in and gasped "NEGI YOU PERVERDED LITTLE FREAK WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH NODOKA IN KONOKA'S BED!" yelled asuna "what is it asuna what's wrong"konoka said from asuna side "COME AND SEE FOR YOUR SELF" asuna yelled "asuna please its my fault i was the one who lead him over here it's my fault and.."nodoka broke off and ran out of the room crying "WAIT NODOKA,NODOKA!" yelled negi as he chased after. she ran into her dorm and slamed the door shut and locked it "nodoka it's not your fault please nodoka open the door " negi said "but it is negi it is i shouldn't have done that i just kind of lost control of myself and..."nodoka broke off and began to cry "nodoka i lost control of my self too i didn't exatly stop you when i should of you know" said negi "but i started it and.." sobbed nodoka "negi if you don't mind i just what to be alone right now so i'll talk to you later" sobbed nodoka before she began to weep "just remember i'll always be here for you" negi said as his eyes began to fill with tears and then he began to walk to his dorm he opened the cautiously to see if asuna was still mad "hi negi" asuna said "hello asuna are you still mad" negi murmured "no, not anymore you just suprised me thats all, so is nodoka alright" asked asuna "i think so, i will try to talk to her tomorrow" negi said "alright but negi please be sensitive to nodoka feelings when you talk to her okay" said asuna "and negi try to get some sleep" she said "okay then good night asuna "said negi "good night and try not to dream about her" said asuna "okay asuna goodnight"negi said and then he went to bed. And chapter twos about Konoka and Setsuna taking their revenge by making out on Nodoka's bed. Wooo! sweatdrop
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Darth_Magus1 Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:06 am
KonoSetsuna Quote: nodoka knocks on the door of the dorm he shared with asuna and konoka. "come in" says negi "umm..hi negi" nodoka says "ah nodoka, come sit down would you like some thing to eat or drink" asked negi "no...wait there is some thing i want" said nodoka as she stared hungily at negi. "nodoka why are you looking at me that way?" asked negi nervesly as nodoka came closer and closer until she had negi against the wall as she came closer and closer to his face to kiss him. "nodoka wait... Wwe..shouldn't" negi said as it was too late they were kissing and he felt powerless to stop her because deep down he didn't. he went along with it all the way to the floor as nodoka became more and more agressive as they made out on the floor and then she stoped and walked over to the door and locked it and sat on the bed "negi come here" nodoka said dreamily as negi aproched the bed and embraced her and kissed her then she took off his shirt and then he took off her shirt and they continued to make out as negi caressed her thigh and then they heared a key in the door then asuna walked in and gasped "NEGI YOU PERVERDED LITTLE FREAK WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH NODOKA IN KONOKA'S BED!" yelled asuna "what is it asuna what's wrong"konoka said from asuna side "COME AND SEE FOR YOUR SELF" asuna yelled "asuna please its my fault i was the one who lead him over here it's my fault and.."nodoka broke off and ran out of the room crying "WAIT NODOKA,NODOKA!" yelled negi as he chased after. she ran into her dorm and slamed the door shut and locked it "nodoka it's not your fault please nodoka open the door " negi said "but it is negi it is i shouldn't have done that i just kind of lost control of myself and..."nodoka broke off and began to cry "nodoka i lost control of my self too i didn't exatly stop you when i should of you know" said negi "but i started it and.." sobbed nodoka "negi if you don't mind i just what to be alone right now so i'll talk to you later" sobbed nodoka before she began to weep "just remember i'll always be here for you" negi said as his eyes began to fill with tears and then he began to walk to his dorm he opened the cautiously to see if asuna was still mad "hi negi" asuna said "hello asuna are you still mad" negi murmured "no, not anymore you just suprised me thats all, so is nodoka alright" asked asuna "i think so, i will try to talk to her tomorrow" negi said "alright but negi please be sensitive to nodoka feelings when you talk to her okay" said asuna "and negi try to get some sleep" she said "okay then good night asuna "said negi "good night and try not to dream about her" said asuna "okay asuna goodnight"negi said and then he went to bed. And chapter twos about Konoka and Setsuna taking their revenge by making out on Nodoka's bed. Wooo! sweatdrop not a bad idea...however where am I going to put the camcorder? razz
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 4:08 pm
Darth_Magus1 KonoSetsuna Quote: nodoka knocks on the door of the dorm he shared with asuna and konoka. "come in" says negi "umm..hi negi" nodoka says "ah nodoka, come sit down would you like some thing to eat or drink" asked negi "no...wait there is some thing i want" said nodoka as she stared hungily at negi. "nodoka why are you looking at me that way?" asked negi nervesly as nodoka came closer and closer until she had negi against the wall as she came closer and closer to his face to kiss him. "nodoka wait... Wwe..shouldn't" negi said as it was too late they were kissing and he felt powerless to stop her because deep down he didn't. he went along with it all the way to the floor as nodoka became more and more agressive as they made out on the floor and then she stoped and walked over to the door and locked it and sat on the bed "negi come here" nodoka said dreamily as negi aproched the bed and embraced her and kissed her then she took off his shirt and then he took off her shirt and they continued to make out as negi caressed her thigh and then they heared a key in the door then asuna walked in and gasped "NEGI YOU PERVERDED LITTLE FREAK WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH NODOKA IN KONOKA'S BED!" yelled asuna "what is it asuna what's wrong"konoka said from asuna side "COME AND SEE FOR YOUR SELF" asuna yelled "asuna please its my fault i was the one who lead him over here it's my fault and.."nodoka broke off and ran out of the room crying "WAIT NODOKA,NODOKA!" yelled negi as he chased after. she ran into her dorm and slamed the door shut and locked it "nodoka it's not your fault please nodoka open the door " negi said "but it is negi it is i shouldn't have done that i just kind of lost control of myself and..."nodoka broke off and began to cry "nodoka i lost control of my self too i didn't exatly stop you when i should of you know" said negi "but i started it and.." sobbed nodoka "negi if you don't mind i just what to be alone right now so i'll talk to you later" sobbed nodoka before she began to weep "just remember i'll always be here for you" negi said as his eyes began to fill with tears and then he began to walk to his dorm he opened the cautiously to see if asuna was still mad "hi negi" asuna said "hello asuna are you still mad" negi murmured "no, not anymore you just suprised me thats all, so is nodoka alright" asked asuna "i think so, i will try to talk to her tomorrow" negi said "alright but negi please be sensitive to nodoka feelings when you talk to her okay" said asuna "and negi try to get some sleep" she said "okay then good night asuna "said negi "good night and try not to dream about her" said asuna "okay asuna goodnight"negi said and then he went to bed. And chapter twos about Konoka and Setsuna taking their revenge by making out on Nodoka's bed. Wooo! sweatdrop not a bad idea...however where am I going to put the camcorder? razz lol good one
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 4:11 pm
negimafan567 Darth_Magus1 KonoSetsuna Quote: nodoka knocks on the door of the dorm he shared with asuna and konoka. "come in" says negi "umm..hi negi" nodoka says "ah nodoka, come sit down would you like some thing to eat or drink" asked negi "no...wait there is some thing i want" said nodoka as she stared hungily at negi. "nodoka why are you looking at me that way?" asked negi nervesly as nodoka came closer and closer until she had negi against the wall as she came closer and closer to his face to kiss him. "nodoka wait... Wwe..shouldn't" negi said as it was too late they were kissing and he felt powerless to stop her because deep down he didn't. he went along with it all the way to the floor as nodoka became more and more agressive as they made out on the floor and then she stoped and walked over to the door and locked it and sat on the bed "negi come here" nodoka said dreamily as negi aproched the bed and embraced her and kissed her then she took off his shirt and then he took off her shirt and they continued to make out as negi caressed her thigh and then they heared a key in the door then asuna walked in and gasped "NEGI YOU PERVERDED LITTLE FREAK WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH NODOKA IN KONOKA'S BED!" yelled asuna "what is it asuna what's wrong"konoka said from asuna side "COME AND SEE FOR YOUR SELF" asuna yelled "asuna please its my fault i was the one who lead him over here it's my fault and.."nodoka broke off and ran out of the room crying "WAIT NODOKA,NODOKA!" yelled negi as he chased after. she ran into her dorm and slamed the door shut and locked it "nodoka it's not your fault please nodoka open the door " negi said "but it is negi it is i shouldn't have done that i just kind of lost control of myself and..."nodoka broke off and began to cry "nodoka i lost control of my self too i didn't exatly stop you when i should of you know" said negi "but i started it and.." sobbed nodoka "negi if you don't mind i just what to be alone right now so i'll talk to you later" sobbed nodoka before she began to weep "just remember i'll always be here for you" negi said as his eyes began to fill with tears and then he began to walk to his dorm he opened the cautiously to see if asuna was still mad "hi negi" asuna said "hello asuna are you still mad" negi murmured "no, not anymore you just suprised me thats all, so is nodoka alright" asked asuna "i think so, i will try to talk to her tomorrow" negi said "alright but negi please be sensitive to nodoka feelings when you talk to her okay" said asuna "and negi try to get some sleep" she said "okay then good night asuna "said negi "good night and try not to dream about her" said asuna "okay asuna goodnight"negi said and then he went to bed. And chapter twos about Konoka and Setsuna taking their revenge by making out on Nodoka's bed. Wooo! sweatdrop not a bad idea...however where am I going to put the camcorder? razz lol good one xd Funny...
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Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 10:21 pm
hey i just got finshed whith part two and it's gonna be better than one it takes up from where the last one left off and it's gonna be prety good so come take a look at it and tell me what ya think k wink
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 12:24 pm
negimafan567 hey i just got finshed whith part two and it's gonna be better than one it takes up from where the last one left off and it's gonna be prety good so come take a look at it and tell me what ya think k wink i have also re done part 1 and it is with part 2 in the fan creations forum so come take a look
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