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I have a problem. I'm very well off financially and have a very nice house, almost a mansion, really. A lot of people including myself think it's the nicest on the entire block, in fact. My extended family lives in it with me, and we do our best to take care of our home, because we all have to live here together, you know? We have our fights now and again, but we get along pretty well, all things considered. None of this is the problem though, so let me quickly get to what it is.

In the lot next to us is a kind of ramshackle house inhabited by a large family who I think are squatting there, but I don't really know. To be honest, I really hadn't ever talked to or thought much about them until they started coming over into our property and living in our backyard. When I found out about it, my immediate reaction was just to tell them to go back to their own place to live, but then I found out that my Nephew Jim had been giving them a share of his allowance to do his chores for him, and my Aunt Tracy has been feeding them in return for helping her dig holes for her garden. Considering that some of my family wants them around, I can't just bar them access completely, but I still don't like the idea of them staying in my backyard all the time. When they're out in the sun all day they have to use my water hose to keep themselves from becoming dehydrated, but none of them pitch in any money to help me. I know they're contributing to making my house better, but my water bill is going through the roof. It's starting to actually drain my money, I think. That's bad enough, but unfortunately, there's much more.

One day last month my Uncle Dan got liquored up, went out side, and told the neighboring family "we" were going to kick them all off of our property then build an electrified fence at the edge of our estate so none of them could ever come back here. And then he said that he'd whup the butt of anyone in our family who tried to help them with anything. The family from the lot didn't appreciate that very much, and said they were all very hard workers who were wanted to stay here. According to them, my grandfather had stolen the property from their grandfather years ago so they had just as much of a right to be here as anyone, and were just as much of our family as anyone, although they identify with the their own family quite a bit. But they think they have the right to be a part of ours and get treated the same as everyone as soon as they're on my land. Uncle Dan and some of his kids reiterated that their willingness to handle the matter physically, but we wisely ignored them. However, my sister also supported sending the other family back to its own place, at least to sleep there every night. I'm used to Uncle Dan being an idiot, but my sister has a good head on her shoulders so I couldn't just write her off, too. Everyone in my family kind of took sides over it over the course of the month and a bunch of bad feelings got brought into it.

Everything came to a head earlier this week when a bunch of them refused to do anything around the house, I guess to prove they wanted to be here and do stuff around the house. Or something. I didn't actually notice it, but I was told that other people in my family were affected by not having the help they were used to. Of course a bunch of the people from the lot didn't do anything different than usual, so I really don't know where they stand, any more than I know where my family stands.

A couple of other things aren't directly related but they seem to factor in somehow, as well. First, I realize just looking at the lot and what's left of that house that it's not a nice place to live. But at the same time, my backyard is starting to look more and more like their lot. It's still better, but if they all come here and try to live off of my family and land, it won't stay that way for long, and like I said, even as things are now it's a drain on me. Second, there are other people who want onto my land or into my house for reasons much more dangerous than just wanting to work and get money or benefits. Stopping them from getting in seems like a good idea, in general. Third, as big a family as we are, we add a lot of people every year through marriage and adoption, and while it takes a lot longer than walking across an arbitrary line on the ground, most of everyone considers them family immediately. Except maybe Uncle Dan, but he's ignorant so we let it go. So some of the people that are in the family through the long route don't appreciate others coming here the easy way.

Meanwhile almost everyday I hear people yelling at one another and I feel like the only options are to throw everyone out and try to block us in, or just accept everybody and accept the fact that my standard of living is going to plummet sometime in the future. There has to be a middle ground between these two cliffs.

Everybody seems to have a point, but the people talking the loudest seem to be absolutely crazy. I wish I knew what to do. Can you help me?

(note: This has been plagiarized from elsewhere, but humor me)

I mean I didn't write it, but I'm not giving credit to who did. I would, I just. Kinda. Forgot.
It's interesting for discussion, so please ignore that I don't actually have this problem.

So no possible solutions, then.
Sad face.

It all depends, really, on several factors. 1. Whether or not you actually want and are willing to listen to outside advice. 2. What you're willing to or capable of doing. And

On the whole, there are various options available.

You say it's "your" land and imply that you are the one paying the water bill, so I'm going under the assumption that you as the speaker are the one who owns the house. As such, you have the final say in what is to be done. They're wasting your water, increasing your expenses, trashing your backyard, and making a claim to something that does not belong to them. My grandfather's sister may have stolen money from my grandfather, but that does not mean she owes me, personally, anything or that I am to expect her to repay me for it. It's a claim that can be easily made by anyone, and as I don't see anything involving actual proof to this claim, it's a moot point and easily ignorable.

A good question to ask is if any of them have actual jobs. They are mentioned spending their time on your land and doing chores and whatnot for your family, but I hear no mention of any of them having actual work or a form of steady income, which may explain the less than pleasant state of their home. The fact that your backyard is starting to become a likeness of their state of housing sort of further encourages a negative view of the family, whether or not it may be true, which they're really not helping to dissuade.

As for their "right" to be there...they have none. What they're doing is loitering. If worse comes to worse, you can simply call the police to escort them off the property, which is likely to get some resistance from the other members of your family, which shouldn't matter too much if you're the owner of the estate. But other than giving you the cold shoulder and causing some extra stress in the household, I don't know what all they can do in retaliation.

On the other hand, you can let them stay there and mooch off of you, not only continuing to make things harder on yourself and lowering your standard of living, but also upsetting the relatives who aren't happy with them there to the point that they decide to take action themselves. Which they will, if Uncle Dan was any indication. And this is more likely to escalate until your family and way of life is torn apart as well.

The fact remains that the final decision is yours, even if some other members of your family don't like it. But this is really a no-win situation. No matter what you choose to do, there are going to be a few members of your family who won't like it.

Those who are in favor of keeping the other family as freeloaders are apparently not helping you either (not that the ones who want to kick them off are much better, as they're only causing more conflict instead of actually doing something about the problem or helping you deal with it), and really have no say in the matter if you decide to kick the family off the property. Either they can get over it or they can find their own place to stay. Nephew Jim can learn to stop being lazy and start doing his own chores and Aunt Tracy can find some other folks to help with her garden. These people are not an integral part of your lives. They are not your family and you do not owe them anything.

While we're on the subject of family, though, I'd like to point out a third option you don't seem to have considered. That being to get your own place and let the rest of the family deal with taking care of the situation. That does have the drawback of upsetting everyone in your family, though hopefully, it might also be the kick in the pants they need to get their act together.

I'm fairly sure there are rules and regulations for this sort of thing so that you can evict people you no longer want in your house so long as you're the one who owns the property. And while some female could claim rape, she'll be hard-pressed to prove it and that sort of thing goes through a criminal court rather than a civil one anyway, so she doesn't necessarily get the house . But all the same, you're living in a house with a bunch of people who don't like you and are really only making things harder for you, but you don't want to leave because you like that house.

There is no single perfect solution that will make everything better. In such a situation, you're going to have to pick and choose what means more to you: keeping your house or a peaceful state of mind. Keeping the house means keeping all the problems that go with it if you aren't going to do anything to take care of them yourself. Getting a new place will present new problems, and your family will only dislike you more.

Those are the options I can see for you. You can keep the house and try to choose a side, keep the house and NOT choose a side and thus let things escalate between the rest of the family until your house falls down around you, or leave and find a more affordable and less stressful standard of living. I'm sure there are others, but you need to make that decision yourself.