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 Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:57 pm
A simple premise. Just state the least likely things Gundam SEED characters will say. I'll take anything as long as it's OOC or otherwise humourous.
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LACUS: Ladies and gentlemen, you've done very well, but remember that we've still got a job to do. The seeds of a new empire have been sown, and if we hope to reap--
KIRA: Ah, to hell with you!
LACUS: You're making a terrible mistake. Don't even think to cross me. I've sacrificed too much to let this fall apart.
KIRA: You mean like you sacrificed La Flaga and Badgiruel?!
LACUS: You'll regret that. You don't seem to realize my situation here. I will not be stopped. Not by you, or the Earth Alliance, or ZAFT, or anyone. I will rule this planet or see it burnt to ashes around me! If you try to get in my way--
MURRUE: The Archangel is prepped and ready, Kira. Awaiting orders.
KIRA: The hell with her. We're gone.
ATHRUN: Uh, excuse me, Chairman, but I'd like to introduce someone to you.
GILBERT: Zala! You son of a b***h, what's the meaning of this?!
LACUS: Chairman Durandal, I've heard a lot about you.
GILBERT: Who the... what the hell are you?
LACUS: I am Clyne. The soldiers here and the hardware you've come to collect are mine, as is our mutual friend Mister Zala. You see, Chairman, there are several groups in this sector who feel your presence here causes certain... complications. I am here to make sure your reign is short-lived.
GILBERT: You may find that difficult, you abomination, seeing as how I have the means to destroy your forces in one fell swoop.
LACUS: Ah yes, you're referring to your vaunted Requiem and Neo-GENESIS. They won't last you forever. Sooner or later, I'll destroy them, and I'll show you what the Three Ships Alliance is really capable of. Oh, and by the way, Chairman, your friend Le Creuset was twice the man you are. I'm glad you saved us the trouble of killing him long ago.
CAGALLI: Clyne, you murdering b***h! We had a deal!
LACUS: Oh, come on, Cagalli. Did you really think that I would allow you to come into power again? You practically fed Orb to the Earth Alliance twice. You're partially responsible for the hell this world has been through. Did you honestly think that I would let you get away with that?
CAGALLI: But you said revenge was secondary to defeating ZAFT!
LACUS: I lied. I liberated Messiah because it was ZAFT's primary staging point, not because I was under any obligation to you. I used you to destroy Requiem and Neo-GENESIS, and now that I've got the Three Ships Alliance back, you're no longer necessary for my plans. I think I'll leave you here, Cagalli, among the ashes of your precious Union. I want you to live to see me rise to power and I want you to always remember, in your most private moments, that it was you who helped let me loose in the first place.
ATHRUN: This is a betrayal most foul, Clyne! We were fools to have gone along with this charade!
LACUS: You're right, Athrun. I used you to get the job done, and you played along just like I knew you would. You Coordinators are all so headstrong and predictable. You are your own worst enemies.
ATHRUN: That's ironic. I can remember my father teaching your father a very similar lesson in the PLANTs.
LACUS: I learned from his mistakes, Zala. Now, are you prepared to die again?
ATHRUN: Heaven awaits me, Clyne, and though I am prepared to face my destiny, you will not find me easy prey.
LACUS: Then that shall be your epitaph.
KIRA: Athrun! No!
LACUS: What are you worried about, Kira? He died the way all Coordinators hope to: In combat!
KIRA: He died because you betrayed him! How many more noble souls do you need to consume before you're satisfied?! How many more innocent people have to die before you realize what you've become?!
LACUS: You don't even know what you're talking about, Kira!
KIRA: Don't I?! I'll see you dead for this, Clyne! For Athrun, Mu, Natarle, Andrew, and all the others who got caught between you and your mad quest for power!
LACUS: Tough talk, Kira, but I don't think you have what it takes to be a killer.
KIRA: It may not be tomorow, darling. It may not be behind the controls of Strike Freedom. It may not even happen with an army at my back. But rest assured, I'm the man who's gonna kill you one day. I'll be seeing you.
LACUS: I can hardly believe this! You've killed Captain Ramius!
KIRA: Better that I killed her than let her live as your slave, Clyne.
LACUS: Well, I have misjudged you once again, Yamato. You are worthy indeed. You are free to go.
KIRA: What?!
LACUS: I said you are free to go. I've already taken your honor many times over. I'll let you live because I know that this will only add to the torture of all your waking moments. You were never able to forgive yourself then, and you'll never be able to forgive yourself for what I've forced you to do now. And that, Kira, is a better comeuppance than I could have ever dreamed of.
KIRA: You will regret this decision, Clyne. We shall meet again.
LACUS: You see, at this point, I'm pretty much the Queen b***h of the Universe. None of your little mobile suits or space ships will ever stand in my way again.
GILBERT: Clyne, I am prepared to offer terms of surrender.
LACUS: I don't think you're in any position to offer me anything, Chairman.
LACUS: Once again, I stand atop the broken bodies of my enemies, victorious, but not unscarred. The Earth Alliance has been destroyed, and the Zodiac Alliance of Freedom Treaty drifts dead and battered in the cold vacuum of space. As for my unlikely allies, I think I should allow them reprieve, for in time, I will seek to test their resolve and their strengths. They will all be mine in the end. For I am the Pink Princess, and none shall ever dispute my rule again.
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:02 pm
and i add this which happened to come up in a conversation between lito and i. hope lito doesn't mind if i post it. most credit goes to her.
Athrun: Man how come there aren't any girl looking at my sexy body?
Kira: It's because it's a guys changeroom Athrun, get used to it, I hate how more girls like you than me. I'm the star here.
Athrun: Hey, if you think you had it tough, look at all that betraying I had to do to get back on your side. Don't think your worst off. I deserve those girls' attention because I have suffered.
Kira: Well, at least I got your fiancee's attention right enough. Thank for giving up on her Athrun.
Lacus: He didn't give up on me. I walked out on him because he's a f***ing player.
Athrun: Hey you b***h!! What are you doing in the guy's locker room?
Lacus: I wanted to make sure you weren't stealing Kira away and getting a room with him.
Kira: Shut up! I'm the one who swears here remember?
Lacus: Oh Kira! You are such an idiot.
- Insert - Kira and Lacus now go and kiss touching each other everywhere.
Athrun: shrugs. Oh well at least I got Meer to hit on me, it's the next best thing.
Cagalli: WHAT?!
Athrun: HUH?! Cagalli's here too?!!!! OH S***
Cagalli: What are you talking about you pervert?
Athrun: Huh? Nothing! I wasn't saying Meer was sexy or anything! Luna's was definitely much better.
Cagalli: starts crying. Athrun! How could you?! You are my one true love! Why can't you just kiss me and forget about every other girl you've met!
Athrun: Alright alright, I have no idea who Luna or Meer is. What are they, some kind of shrub? Eh... and I guess Meyrin should....
Cagalli: Don't even mention her! She's a horrible influence on you! Using you as a shield to protect her from all those bad people in the world. Why won't you come back and protect ME?!!!!
Athrun: Because you're fatter than....
Cagalli: WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!! stops crying.
Athrun: Well... it's the truth! Meer and Luna are much more.... uh oh.
Cagalli: ATHRUN ZALAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:36 pm
XD yeah that's fine kira
i knew you didn't get the last part that well but kira you GOTTA learn that girls are quite insulted about their figure if they aren't THAT fat. otherwise that, they'd allow themselves to say they're fat but you've GOTTA compliment them and say their skinny. SHEESH.
oh umm... lemme think....
SHINN: Do you think Stellar will kiss me when she flies by? (gets a dreamy look in his eyes)
REY: Yeah sure Shinn. She'll kiss you after she kicks your mobile a**! Have you forgotten she's an Extended?
SHINN: But I got the SEED cummon Rey you know the SEED owns all! Look at Kira and his SEED! Now if I piloted the Freedom, I'd own him too...
LUNA: Oh, I'm sure you would Shinn! Because for some really weird reason I'm attracted to you. So I decided I'd compliment you because it might get your attention, now that I know I don't stand a chance with Athrun!
SHINN: Damn, am I always second best to that b*****d?
REY: Nah, you're third best because I know I'm better as a soldier than you. I just won't say it in front of you.
SHINN: Shut up, I'm gonna go and find Stellar
LUNA: SHINN!!! NO! (runs and glomps him) I need some guy to fall in love with me! (looks beseechingly at Rey, who glares back)
SHINN: Hey, gerroff me!
REY: Shinn, make sure she stays with you, otherwise I won't be able to kill Dullindal when fate tells me to without regrets.
LUNA: Yeah! What he said.
SHINN: Pft. (shrugs Luna off) I'm gonna launch now even though the Captain hasn't told me to yet. (goes down to hanger and jumps in Impulse)
MECHANIC: HEY!!
SHINN: Go away! I need to see Stellar and take down the Freedom! (launches in Impulse and smashes starboard side)
LUNA: SHINNN!!!!!!! (turns) ATHRUNNNNN!!!!!!!!
ATHRUN: Err.... sorry, you'd have to look like Cagalli before I approach you. (runs away)
LUNA: (starts crying)
REY: Typical girl.... typical Gundam soap opera scene.... buhbies. (walks away to fading background music)
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:01 pm
O.O oh my.... well it was an enjoyable read! i love how you guys can all make me laugh so much! i wish i could create something as funny, but i don't think i have the writing talent or humour suited for it >.<
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:34 pm
[WARNING: Much profanity follows.]
ATHRUN: I guess that's it for the old locker. She stinks like a** but I'll still miss her. I guess you could say that about all my girls.
MURRUE: Identify yourself...CHICKEN ********: *fake Irish brogue* I'll believe that when me s**t turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbert!
RAU: I just got off the phone with Chairman Zala. This thing with Athrun screwed our pooch.
DEARKA: What?! They can't lump us in with that ******** patchworker!
RAU: We're all in the same boat, guys.
NICOL: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun.
YZAK: Yeah, his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.
NICOL: Which wouldn't make them shenanigans at all, really.
DEARKA: *fake Irish brogue* Evil shenanigans!
RAU: I swear to God, I'll pistol-whip the next hijo de puta that says "shenanigans"!
YZAK: Hey, Athrun, what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy s**t on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?
ATHRUN: You mean Shenanigans?
DEARKA: Oh, hell no!
YZAK: *laughs*
NICOL: *hands Rau his sidearm*
ATHRUN: You are talking about Shenanigans, right?
MIRIALLIA: I'm sorry about that delousing. Just standard procedure.
DEARKA: It's powdered sugar.
MIRIALLIA: The lice hate the sugar. So, anyway--
DEARKA: It's delicious.
KIRA: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.
SAI: *into microphone* Double bacon cheeseburger. It's for Kira.
KIRA: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now, Sai?
SAI: No, I just told Tolle and Kuzzey that so they make it good. *into microphone* Don't spit in Kira's burger.
KIRA: Yeah, thanks.
TOLLE: Roger, holding the spit.
SAI: Uh, right. Beverage?
KIRA: Gimme a liter of cola.
SAI: *into microphone* Liter Cola? Do we sell Liter Cola?
FLAY: Will you just order a large, Kira?
KIRA: I don't want a large Kira, I want a goddamn liter of cola!
SAI: I don't know what that is!
KIRA: *grabs Sai by the collar* Liter is French for "Give me my ******** cola before I break your ******** lip"!
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Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 2:59 pm
damn tons of swearing. cool stuff.
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Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 6:47 pm
I never had much of an imagination, but it's really amusing. I cheer to Lacus turning evil. (Or rather, she was evil all along.)
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 10:48 pm
an excerpt from "FARThaton 2007" of nareiya of ff.net:
“Okay mina-san! I want a clean and fair fight!” A pink ball, no, a Haro mechanic ball who that goes by the name Mr. Pink ordered. It bounced up and down nonstop and the stupid, smelly contenders, who were clearly annoyed, kept on following it with their eyes.
“How long are we going to do this?” Shinn asked, his tired eyes slowly closing. “Dunno…” Yzak, the contender beside him, shrugged his shoulders as his eyes followed the bouncing haro for the umpteenth time.
While those two idiotic ZAFT pilots were being mesmerized by the bouncing pink haro, Kira feared for the preservation of his life. Why? Oh, that is so easy to answer. It was because his sister dearest was beginning to fire up.
“Stop bouncing or else…” she Cagalli began to mutter under her breath but the haro continued to bounce and she got enough of its annoyance. “STOP IT!” She kicked the poor, irritating haro and it was never seen again. Cagalli had no idea why Lacus had that thing around her in the first place.
“Where is the real host for this competition?” Cagalli asked and no one answered, “Are you people deaf!?”
“No! We’re just scared of you!” Shinn stated the obvious and Cagalli’s attention was diverted to him. “Thanks for saying the obvious!” She sneered and knocked him out. “Would anyone be brave enough to be the host?”
After a few seconds, someone pushed Meyrin to the main stadium. “Oh…” was all that came out from Cagalli’s mouth, “What a nice sacrifice…er, I mean hostess! (A/N: Eww…hostess…in my place, a double meaning of hostess is a prostitute…)”
Kira’s trembling hand threw the agenda to the poor girl. Meyrin verily caught it, but read it quickly as she picked it up. “Okay, for the first round. It will be taken place in the pool. The contestants would be required to fart only once and the one who has the longest distance covered would be declared as the winner.”
--
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Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 7:14 pm
^^" oh myy not only are they out of character, they're out of their own world too! heehee... great excerpt!
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 3:18 pm
ATHRUN: As Le Creuset always said, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie, and there's an "I" in meat pie. "Meat" is the anagram of "team"... I don't know what he's talking about.
YZAK: *about Dearka* Well, I've known him since primary school. I like having him around. He's a laugh.
ATHRUN: What, because he can impersonate an orangutan? ********: You, hang out with my friends?! A failed actress and a t**t?!
SHINN: Well, that's a bit harsh.
LUNAMARIA: Your words, Shinn!
SHINN: I did NOT call Meer a failed actress!
LUNAMARIA: You promised you'd quit smoking when I did!
SHINN: Well...
LUNAMARIA: You promised you'd try red wine instead of beer!
SHINN: I...
LUNAMARIA: You promised we'd go on holiday together!
SHINN: Well, we went to California, didn't we?!
LUNAMARIA: We met in California!
REY: At a rave in Beverly Hills.
LUNAMARIA: You promised things would change!
MEYRIN: You promised you'd get us free high-speed Internet.
SHINN: I'm working on that!
MEYRIN: Okay.
NICOL: It's four in the ******** morning!
YZAK: It's Saturday!
NICOL: No, it's not. It's ******** Sunday. And I've got to go to ******** work in four ******** hours because every other ******** in my ******** department is ******** DEAD!!! Now can you see why I'm SO ******** ANGRY?!
DEARKA: ********, yeah!
YZAK: Whoa, we're all friends here--
NICOL: He's not my friend, he's a ******** idiot!
DEARKA: What's that supposed to mean?
NICOL: It means, why don't you ******** OFF?! You wanna live like an animal, why don't you go and live in the shed, you thick ********: Oh, leave him alone!
NICOL: Stop defending him, Yzak! All he does is hold you back! Or does it make your life easier having someone around who's more of a loser than you are?
YZAK: What's that supposed to mean?
NICOL: You know what it means. I assume it was Shiho that did the dumping. *pause, points at Yzak with a bandaged hand* Sort your ******** life out, mate!
DEARKA: What's up with your hand, man?
NICOL: I got mugged on the way home from work.
DEARKA: By who?
NICOL: I dunno, some crackheads or something. One of 'em bit me.
DEARKA: Why did they bite you?
NICOL: I don't know! I didn't stop to ask them! *pause, clutches sinuses* Look, I've got a splitting headache, and your stupid hip-hop isn't helping. *heads for the stairs, stopping at the front entryway* And the front door is open, AGAIN!!! *slams front door shut*
DEARKA: It's not hip-hop, it's electro. p***k. Next time I see him, he's dead.
DEARKA: "Purple Rain."
YZAK: No.
DEARKA: "Sign o' the Times"
YZAK: Definitely not.
DEARKA: The Batman soundtrack?
YZAK: Throw it.
DEARKA: *throws it* Dire Straits.
YZAK: Throw it.
DEARKA: *throws it* Stone Roses?
YZAK: No.
DEARKA: Second Coming?
YZAK: I like it.
DEARKA: Ah! Sade.
YZAK: That's Shiho's.
DEARKA: Yeah, but she did dump you. *throws it*
DEARKA: Athrun says so.
YZAK: Yeah, but Athrun also says dogs can't look up!
SHINN: You're the one that's gone from being a chartered accountant to Charlton Heston!
REY: I'm not a chartered accountant!
SHINN: Well, you look like one!
MEYRIN: Yeah!
REY: I'm a mobile suit pilot.
SHINN: You're a t**t!
MEYRIN: Yeah!
SHINN: All right, I've got a Gundam outside, but it's going to be a bit cramped, so has anyone got transport?
MEYRIN: Yes.
SHINN: Great, where?
MEYRIN: Oh, no. Well, I passed my test.
LUNAMARIA: I think we should go out there.
MEYRIN: But the man said stay inside!
LUNAMARIA: Oh, ******** the man!
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 7:27 pm
heehee
Athrun's first line is hilarious. i should use it on a certain someone i know... LOL.
the rest of it sort of twisted my mouth into this really weird line halfway between laughing and frowning. heehee ^^"
good ones October-san ^.^
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Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 5:34 pm
HEINE: Gentlemen, this is a $500-a-plate dinner.
REY: *stuffs $2000 in Heine's pocket* Okay, put us down for four.
SHINN: In case we want seconds.
KIRA: Where's the booze?
ATHRUN: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming!
KIRA: *moans in despair*
ATHRUN: Oh, come on, buddy, it's not that bad. Come on, man...
KIRA: It gets worse, Athrun. You know my parakeet Birdy?
ATHRUN: Yeah?
KIRA: He's dead.
ATHRUN: Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened?
KIRA: His head fell off.
ATHRUN: His head fell off?
KIRA: Yeah, he was pretty old.
YZAK: I can't feel my hands anymore, Dearka. They're numb!
DEARKA: Here, maybe you should have this extra pair of gloves. My hands are getting kinda sweaty!
YZAK: You had...these gloves...all this time...and you never told me?!
DEARKA: Duh! Yeah! We're in the Rockies!
YZAK: I'm gonna kill you.
DEARKA: What?
YZAK: I'm gonna KILL YOU!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, DEARKA!!! *grabs Dearka and starts strangling him*
DEARKA: EEK!!! YZAK!!! YOUR HANDS ARE FREEZING!!!
DEARKA: I'm talking about a place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen.
YZAK: Oh, I dunno, Dearka. The French are assholes.
DEARKA: The least you could do is level with me. What are my chances?
MIRIALLIA: Not good.
DEARKA: You mean like one out of a hundred?
MIRIALLIA: More like one out of a million.
DEARKA: So you're telling me there's a chance.
DEARKA: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing! Nada! Zip!
YZAK: Yeah, unless you wanna work forty hours a week.
YZAK: Funny. I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
DEARKA: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of s**t, man.
HEINE: Pull over!
REY: No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing!
SHINN: Yeah, killer boots, man!
DEARKA: The first time I set eyes on Miriallia Haw, I just got that old-fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone her.
YZAK: That's a special feeling, Dearka.
DEARKA: He blamed me. Those were his last words. You heard him.
YZAK: Not if you count the gurgling sound.
KIRA: Skis, huh?
LUNAMARIA: That's right.
KIRA: They yours?
LUNAMARIA: Uh-huh.
KIRA: Both of them?
KIRA: That's a lot of luggage for a little vacation.
LUNAMARIA: Oh, I'm moving to Aspen. I've got to get away from my boyfriend. He's such a klutz. Plus, my astrologer told me to stay away from accident-prone guys. So, you know.
KIRA: Well, you know I-- *rests hand on Lunamaria's side mirror and breaks it, then picks up the mirror and hands it to her* Here. It's a little loose.
DEARKA: Isn't this incredible? What more could two single guys ask for?
YZAK: How about some food?
DEARKA: I swallowed a big june bug while we were driving. I'm not really hungry.
MURRUE: I mean, if one hot guy can rip us apart like this, then our friendship isn't worth a damn. Maybe we should call it quits right now.
NATARLE: You just tell me where to sign, girl.
MURRUE: Right on my a**, right after you kiss it!
NATARLE: Kiss it?! You kiss mine! Both cheeks, both lips! Right here! *makes kissing noises*
TALIA: Which one of you wants to get it first?
MURRUE: Over here. I was the one who got us into this whole mess. C'mon, shoot me.
NATARLE: No! Wait. Do me first. I stole your man, Murrue. I deserve it.
MURRUE: No, you don't.
NATARLE: Yes, I do.
MURRUE: No, you don't. No, you don't!
NATARLE: Yes, I do! Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life! Mu and I went skiing! We made a snowman! He fondled my breasts!
MURRUE: Okay. Kill her.
MURRUE: What's going on, Natarle? Your name IS Natarle, isn't it?
NATARLE: Yeah, Kira grabbed me down at the lobby, explained what was up, then slapped this bullet-proof vest on me and gave me a gun.
MURRUE: But what if she shot you in the face?
NATARLE: *to Kira* What if she shot me in the face?
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 5:44 pm
ROFL!!! LMFAO!!!
XD i needed that...
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Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:56 pm
LUNAMARIA: Sorry, pardon me. Can I just check this out? *looks at her evaluation sheet* D-plus? Oh, my God. I passed! I passed! Oh, man! I got a D-plus! I'm going to graduate! I wish we'd known each other. This is a little awkward.
LUNAMARIA: I was just checking the specs on the endline for the rotary...girder... Ah, I'm retarded.
LUNAMARIA: Sisters don't shake hands! Sisters gotta hug! *tackleglomps Meyrin*
LUNAMARIA: Were you watching Spanktravision? Maybe you were watching a movie with that funny comedian. Oh, what's his name? Buddy...Whack-it?
MEYRIN: What Shinn and Luna here are trying to say is that, uh, our new brake pads are really cool. You're not even going to believe it. Like, um... *takes a model car* ...let's say you're driving along the road with your family. And you're driving along, la-li-la. And then, all of the sudden there's a truck tire in the middle of the road, and you hit the brakes. *makes a loud squeaking noise* Whoa, that was close. Now let's see what happens when you're driving with the 'other guy's brake pads. *takes another model car* You're driving along. You're driving along and all of the sudden the kids are yelling from the backseat, "I got to go to the bathroom, Daddy!" "Not now, damn it!" Truck tire! "I can't stop! Help!" *smashes the car into the desktop* There's a cliff! Aah! *smashes the car again and lights it on fire* And your family's screaming, "Oh my God, we're burning alive!" "No! I can't feel my legs!" In comes the meat wagon! *takes a third model car* And the medic gets out and says, "Oh, my God!" New guy's in the corner puking his guts out. All because you want to save a couple of extra pennies.
LUNAMARIA: Bees! Bees! Bees in the Gundam! Bees everywhere! God, they're huge! They're ripping my flesh off! Run away! Your beam weapons are useless against them!
LUNAMARIA: Shinn, who's your favorite Little Rascal? Is it Alfalfa...or is it Spanky? Sinner.
MEYRIN: I just barfed on an anthill. Cool. *beat* I think they're pissed.
SHINN: It's the next base, dumb and dumber. It's got to be there. Okay, where's Stupid b***h? *pokes Luna on the nose* Okay, Stupid b***h's here, so Subic Bay...
KIRA: Of course, I can get a hell of a good look at a T-bone steak by sticking my head up a bull's a**, but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it.
MEYRIN: Late again, Luna. You're pathetic.
LUNAMARIA: Shut up, Meyrin!
SHINN: Oh, that sounds good. Melted chocolate over the controls. That really ups the resale value.
LUNAMARIA: I think you'll be okay here. They have a thin candy shell. Surprised you didn't know that.
SHINN: I think your brain has a thick candy shell.
LUNAMARIA: Your-- Your brain has the shell on it.
SHINN: Are you talking?
LUNAMARIA: Shut up, Shinn.
MEYRIN: Look at 'em there, pretty maids all in a row. I want the one on the left. She's perfect. Which one do you want? Huh? Huh? Huh? Alright.
SHINN: Does it make a difference?
MEYRIN: Oh, yeah! Wait a second, is this your first time?
SHINN: Yes, Meyrin, it is.
MEYRIN: God, you're gonna remember this the rest of your life. Can't believe you've never been cow tipping before! Get ready to live. *walks over to the cow of her choice and whispers to Shinn* She's sleeping. What you do is, you put your shoulder into her and you push.
SHINN: And?
MEYRIN: They fall over.
SHINN: And this doesn't strike you as kinda dumb?
MEYRIN: We're family. We're gonna be doing lots of dumb stuff together. Wait 'til Christmas.
MEYRIN: Man, did I get doused with mud!
SHINN: Hey, Meyrin, that doesn't smell like mud. *sprays Meyrin with a hose*
MEYRIN: *singing* I'm a maniac, maniac on the floor! And I'm dancin' like I've never danced before!
SHINN: Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?
MEYRIN: *giggles* Why?
SHINN: All right, now it's sale time, so remember, we don't take no--
LUNAMARIA: No s**t from anyone!
SHINN: No.
MEYRIN: Um, we don't take no prisoners!
SHINN: We don't take no for answer.
MEYRIN: Oh, yeah.
REY: I'm picking up your sarcasm.
LUNAMARIA: Well, I should hope so, because I'm laying it on pretty thick.
MEYRIN: Hey, I'll tell you what, Cagalli. You can get a good look at a butcher's a** by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather take his word for it?
CAGALLI: What? I'm failing to make the connection here.
MEYRIN: No, what I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's a**... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.
LUNAMARIA: Wow...
CAGALLI: Miss Hawke, I'm at a loss for words here--
MEYRIN: Forget it! I quit! I can't do this any more, man! My head's about to explode! My whole life sucks! I don't know what I'm doing! I don't know where I'm going! Everyone on board the Minerva just died, we just blew up an Earth Alliance space fleet, I'm out here getting my a** kicked, and every time I try to pilot a mobile suit I wanna jerk the controls right into the ******** Archangel!
LUNAMARIA: We'll keep in touch.
MEYRIN: Hey, what's your name?
MIRIALLIA: Milly.
MEYRIN: That's nice, you look like a Milly. Milly, we're all in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a saleswoman. Let's say we go into a guy's office, let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well, then, I get all excited. I'm like Lulu the idiot circus girl with a pretty new pet. *takes a dinner roll from a basket* Now, the pet is our possible sale. *starts talking to the dinner roll* Hello there, pretty little pet, I love you. *turns back to Milly* And then I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. I love it. I love my little naughty pet. You're naughty! And then I take my naughty pet and I go-- *makes ripping noises as she tears apart the dinner roll* AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! I killed it! I killed my sale! I killed our sale! *beat* And that's when I blow it for Shinn and Luna. That's when people like us have gotta forge ahead, Milly. Am I right?
MIRIALLIA: God, you're sick. Tell you what, I'll go turn the friers back on and throw on some wings for you.
MEYRIN: Let's think about this for a sec, Murrue. Why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Very interesting.
MURRUE: Go on. I'm listening.
MEYRIN: Here's the way I see it, Murrue. Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside.
MURRUE: Yeah, it makes people feel good.
MEYRIN: Of course it does. Why shouldn't it? You figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Murrue?
MURRUE: What's your point?
MEYRIN: The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes," says the little fairy. Well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, your son's lying in a pool of his own vomit, and your daughter's knocked up. I've seen it a hundred times.
MURRUE: But why do they put a guarantee on the box?
MEYRIN: Because they know all they sold you was a guaranteed piece of s**t. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to menstruate into a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I have spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your children's sake, you might want to think about buying a quality product from me.
MURRUE: Okay, we'll buy from you.
MEYRIN: Well, that's-- What?!
LUNAMARIA: Housekeeping?
SHINN: No, thank you. Sleeping.
LUNAMARIA: Housekeeping?
SHINN: Come back in an hour.
LUNAMARIA: Housekeeping, you want towel?
SHINN: No towels. Need sleep.
LUNAMARIA: Housekeeping, you want mint for pillow?
SHINN: Please, go away and let me sleep, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!
LUNAMARIA: Housekeeping, you want me jerk you off?
SHINN: What kind of hotel is this? *gets out of bed, walks up to the door, and opens it* Oh, it's you.
LUNAMARIA: Morning, sweetie.
FLAY: Uh, I can reserve you a flight coming back from Clark Air Base at 1755. Does that help?
SHINN: Hi, I'm Earth. Have we met?
FLAY: I don't think so.
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 4:34 pm
!!
^^" i love your creativity October-san!
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