|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 9:45 am
You've heard of "Dear Abby", well now meet "Dear Bonzi".. This advise column is IC only. Submit your life questions to Bonzinut for his unique wisdom! 
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 9:53 am
Alright you heard her... send me your questions about life, relationships, what you would like to eat for dinner. I don't care. Send me a question.
I will answer it.
Ofcourse the more money you send the better the answer. blaugh
Just kidding... really.
Ok... let 'em roll.
*sits down at a desk and waits for the questions to come in*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 9:55 am
Dear Bonzi,
Why is it I seem to be the only one not in love in Paradise? What's wrong with me?
Regards,
Loveless
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 9:57 am
Dear Bonzi,
I think my boyfriend was abducted by aliens! What do you think I should do?
From,
Mrs Alien?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 10:06 am
Karyiann Dear Bonzi, Why is it I seem to be the only one not in love in Paradise? What's wrong with me? Regards, Loveless Dear Loveless, Perhaps it is because all the guys in Paradise are a bunch of egotistical maniacs, who only care about themselves and their big toys that they have to make their small ... umm... ya... seem bigger. Or perhaps it is because there just anyone good enough for you. I have a question for you though. Why do you need to be in love? I knew someone named Loveless, and they were one of the bestest people I knew. They didn't have a significant other, and they were a little down about it. But one day they realized that love is not the be all end all of life. But what is important is life itself. They had some great friends, and awesome hobbies. They ended up becoming one of the happiest people. Maybe you could try that. And if love is meant to be, it will come. It usually comes when you least expect it. Not when you are looking for it. Sincerly,  heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 10:34 am
Aine Larae Dear Bonzi, I think my boyfriend was abducted by aliens! What do you think I should do? From, Mrs Alien? Dear Mrs. Alien, That is quite a situation ya got there. Humm, what should you do? Well, what would you like to do? The possiblities are almost endless. You could, while he is asleep, get a portable x-ray machine, and do a quick scan of him to see if they left any evidence from any kind of probing he may have recieved. If he was abducted. Or you could take a big knife and do a little exploritory surgery to see. Although this may result in one less boyfriend. Are you jealous of his possible abduction? Cause maybe you two could arrange something like, the next time he is going to be abducted, that you both get abducted together. That is a thought. Or you could just go skiing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 12:37 pm
Dear Bonzi,
Thank you for your prompt reply in regards to being Loveless. I think perhaps you might be correct in not looking for love and being happy. I have another question for you. Why does Chocolate make me feel so good? Is it a substitute for the emotional and physical loving I'm missing in my life?
Regards,
Chocoholic
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 12:44 pm
Dear Bonzi, and Chocoholic,
Sorry for inturrupting the response, since Bonzi has not yet, but I just wanted to say that Chocolate is every girls best friend!
Besides, having love sometimes isn't that great a thing after all!
Mrs. Alien
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 12:46 pm
Dear Mrs Alien,
Want to get rid of your Alien infested boyfriend and hook up?
Signed,
Curious
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 1:08 pm
*reads through some of the letters he has received, and just has to chuckle* Karyiann Dear Bonzi, Thank you for your prompt reply in regards to being Loveless. I think perhaps you might be correct in not looking for love and being happy. I have another question for you. Why does Chocolate make me feel so good? Is it a substitute for the emotional and physical loving I'm missing in my life? Regards, Chocoholic Dear Chocoholic, Chocolate actually is considered to be an aphrodisiac. That, in my opinion, could be the reason it makes you want companion ship. Perhaps you could try some... umm... aids for you delima, or maybe just a pet. As always,
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 1:15 pm
*writes in his journal...* On an editorial note, I must find Mrs. Aliens boyfriend, kill him, and kidnapp Chocoholic, and take her to Mrs. Alien's house, with a big box of chocolate, and a comfy chair.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 12:59 am
((LOL))
Dear Bonzi,
I can't seem to find my underpants this morning. Is it true that the Underpands Gnomes exist?
Sincerely,
Cold
((Okay.. I guess you have to know South Park to really get that one))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 5:24 am
Aine Larae ((LOL)) Dear Bonzi, I can't seem to find my underpants this morning. Is it true that the Underpands Gnomes exist? Sincerely, Cold ((Okay.. I guess you have to know South Park to really get that one)) Dear Cold, Although I have not seen any Underpants Gnomes. I have seen the Sock Gnomes. They tend to rip holes in my socks, those little bastards!!!! Ok... So to answer your question. I would have to say yes, there probably are Underpants Gnomes. However, are you sure that your boyfriend isn't takeing them as a trophy, or perhaps he just likes to "feel closer" to you when he is away from you, by wearing your underpants? After all, he would look kinda silly wearing one of your dresses, don't you think? Hopeing you warm up,
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 5:27 am
Dear Bonzi,
Wow... that's so insightful! Thanks for your thoughts! I shall have to start stalking my boyfriend now and see if he's the culprit!
From,
Really Scared Now
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 5:37 am
Aine Larae Dear Bonzi, Wow... that's so insightful! Thanks for your thoughts! I shall have to start stalking my boyfriend now and see if he's the culprit! From, Really Scared Now Dear Really Scared Now, I don't recommend stalking your boyfriend. It could chase him off. He may get a little freaked out about the whole thing. I would suggest that you set a booby trap of some sort. Perhaps some kind of temporary ink, like a tattoo or the like. that would be noticable on his butt after he takes off the underpants in question. That way you could "check him out" while, checking him out. *giggles* That way it dosn't look like your stalking him, and it gives a playfull feel to the whole creepy thing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
