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 Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 3:31 pm
When He sees me as a rose
You only see my thorns
Can't you see past it
That there's beauty beyond
I know they p***k tears of blood
But wounds can heal
When love overlooks all wrongs
Our beauty was bought at a price
Though it's not my own...
I treasure it
Why can't you see the beauty in that
Past the thorns
In the petals of blood
Can you see Him in me
Shining through
And the beauty in that
This is my favorite poem that I've ever written...I hope you all like it too! If you enjoyed it, you can find more in my journal!
The stared out part is P.R.I.C.K....as in athorn pricking you.....not t in a bad way, in case u have ur computer filtered smile
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Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 5:34 pm
Very nice.
I like the metaphor heart
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Posted: Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:12 pm
Its well written, no doubt, but I dont really like modern poems. I am more into the old school things' rhyme sheme, meter, the like.
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Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 12:34 pm
Thanks guys for replying...it's too bad more people wont...
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Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 1:39 pm
Just my personal opinion... but it doesn't flow right, not to me. I like the concept, but the words used make abrupt pauses in certain places that are unappealing to me aesthetically and some just don't work well together. I'm not trying to be mean, but that's personal opinion. imagine sinous lines flowing smoothly suddenly meeting a big bulky block. that's how it seems to me.
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Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 6:00 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 9:52 am
Soulstrike96 Just my personal opinion... but it doesn't flow right, not to me. I like the concept, but the words used make abrupt pauses in certain places that are unappealing to me aesthetically and some just don't work well together. I'm not trying to be mean, but that's personal opinion. imagine sinous lines flowing smoothly suddenly meeting a big bulky block. that's how it seems to me. Thank you for that...really, it could be helpful smile And actually, i dont think about it when I write, it's just these moments of inspiration come and it just flows out.
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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 9:53 am
Um, I'm not sure what namaste means, but the bowing gives me resaon to think you are complimenting me...so thanks smile
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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 2:54 pm
Namaste when taken in context with a Christian follower can be translated to: I honor the holy one in you.
It can also be taken as, "I honor you."
Salaam~
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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 8:39 pm
MotherSky Namaste when taken in context with a Christian follower can be translated to: I honor the holy one in you. It can also be taken as, "I honor you." Salaam~ Oh, well thank you smile I like the part about honoring the holy One in me... smile
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