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Posted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 12:54 pm
[in the making of this story i did take a few ideas from angelica and aaron, but it is mostly my stuff. if anyone was offended, please notify me of it.]
[im really working on getting better at writing so i really really welcome consructive criticism. please comment!!]
Introduction and history of Oroes:
Earth has been through a great many triumphs and struggles through its time. Technology advances everyday, the greatest being probably electricity, or the engine, telephones and their advances, and the many forms of travel including that through space. Although earth has come through much in its short life, there are things that don’t exist on that planet, or even in that galaxy. Their search for life on other planets spans far and wide, but they are not so advanced that they have actually found any yet. But earth is in fact, quite advanced.
On Oroes however, they are not quite as advanced. Earth enjoys so many luxuries unheard of on this distant planet. Many Humans might point out that their culture resembles that of medieval times, or that they look so different, but there is only one true deep-seated difference from Earth. On Oroes, magic exists and strangely fantastical creatures run wild. They may not possess what Humans describe as technology, but they have a form of their very own.
On Oroes, the people are quite divided. One half of the people are called Oneders, ((oh-nay-ders)) and the others are called Onedites ((oh-need-ites)). This controversy is to blame for the separation of the two halves of the planet, two different types of people who advanced similarly. No year was as violent as the year that the two civilizations collided with the discovery of each other. The year the wars began.
They called it simply “The War,” for there were no better words to describe it. After the initial conflicts wore down and life on Oroes calmed, many foolish heroes attempted to unite the two countries. (As they were so called Sedeno and Nideet, named for the capital cities of the two capital kingdoms) Those heroes failed and there was no hope or desire to join the two, only the steady warning of war once more should a single person slip up. Eventually, a few people, including merchants and “sailors” from each country began to travel to the country opposite them (wherever they were from). Integration was well on its way, until a great disaster befell Oroes. Creatures strange to the planet began to appear from nowhere and because each country blamed and mistrusted the other, Oroes became once again consumed in the fires of The War. Though this time, The War became something quite different. The creatures were absolute monsters, ravaging and destroying everything in sight, slaughtering a countless amount of Oneders and Onedites alike. At that time, anything would have been better than The War.
The times grew worse, and the people who lived stayed in the dark about the creatures, the hope for a united Oroes fell to almost nothing. No one believed about the creatures, those who survived an attack were only executed later, once they tried to tell the tale. There were some however, who understood that the fate of everyone on the planet would be doomed if something were not done. These believers formed secret groups and organizations, building power for the final showdown that was inevitable.
These secret groups also did more than prepare for the future, they attempted to right the many wrongs that lay within the separate countries. And there were a great many wrongs. Shallow, greedy leaders were holding the thrones and while the wealthy thrived, the poor were left barely clinging to a miserable life. It was around the time that taxes were raised in Sedenno, (making life for the working class Oneders unbearable) that (James) Jimmy Collins arrived there, and hope for the world was born.
Prologue Section A The Prophecy
[[I’m really sorry about this ‘chapter’ being so long!!!! But it is more of an intro than anything! I promise that it will get more interesting!!!!]]
The tall man sniffed the air reluctantly. It smelled alien to him. It was alien to him. Although he somehow had an innate sense of where he was, he had no idea how he had gotten there. As far as he knew, scientists had not found life this advanced on other planets yet, so he figured that he was incredibly far from Earth. He drew one of the folds of his trench coat to him, clutching it tightly against the brisk morning weather.
The locals looked very vibrant, strange to him, and he knew that he stuck out like a sore thumb. Their hair colors stretched across the entire spectrum; the only brown hair he had seen had been pretty much chocolate colored and the owner had white eyes with a yellow swirl in the center. He tugged at his own long hair, half expecting it to have changed purple, but to his disappointment, it was still the same shade of reddish orange- brown. His eyes were a light, drab shade of blue and his skin was very pale, making his freckles stand out all the more. Yep, I stand out. A lot. He thought to himself laughing. He suddenly realized with a shudder exactly who the alien there was.
He had been waiting in the “lobby” of the strange out-of-the-way building for quite some time. (Upon his arrival he had encountered a strange beast that meant to kill him. The people that had saved him had brought him here. Apparently he was waiting for some kind of council to convene.) After a short time longer, the receptionist nodded for him to enter the seemingly large room behind the double doors. She was quite pretty, like most of the woman on Oroes and, he noted, her hair was a pleasant blue and pink cotton candy color.
Warily, he entered the room. It looked just like one of the courtrooms back on Earth, and he let out a small sigh of relief for the similarity. In best words, Oroes was quite a lot like Earth. The only difference was the way they went about doing things. At night, they lit their homes with strange glowing orbs that put off no heat. They communicated with each other by looking into smooth pools of water and by concentrating; they could see each other through any distance. Their forms of transportation were quite strange especially; they rode around on what looked like Raptors, although he was told that Airships were also an option. Although they didn’t really talk about it, he had been told that in the neighboring country they rode ‘battle ostriches.’
In the seats, there was a varied assortment of many different looking people. These people however, looked slightly different from the other people he had seen outside. Mixed seemed to be the appropriate word for it. Some of the had darker skin, and they stood out almost deliberately from the others since there were so few of them. All of the previous Oneders he had met possessed skin paler than the moon on a cloudless night.
One spoke up. It was the large, nervous looking man who had greeted him so warmly upon his arrival to the building. His face was round and framed by short-cropped indigo hair. “After hearing your story, the council has convened.” He began. “We have decided that you, Jimmy Collins, are exactly the kind of sign that Oroes been waiting for.”
This made Jimmy shudder. Being only a young man of 22, he had had other plans for his life. He had been a writer, and a damn good one too, he added in spite of himself. His only concern was getting off of the planet and back to earth, but he knew that that was impossible. “I don’t know how I got here.” Jimmy started, his face hard and set. “And, I don’t know how to get back. This place is a madhouse! The people look so miserable and…” he trailed off. “That creature…” he added in a small voice.
Another person spoke up. This time it was a woman. She had electric blue hair and it was long. Her eyes were violet, with flecks the color of her hair within them. Overall she was shockingly beautiful. But although she was beautiful, her face was gaunt and fatigued. This woman had obviously not slept in days. As she spoke, her voice shook, suggesting slight madness. “That is why this council convenes,” she said. “It is partly our government that ails us. Or The War, and alongside of that, there are the creatures. All of the people in this room have lost something or someone dear to them. We are doing all that we can to help the people, but I fear that it isn’t enough. There are many groups just like us doing the same, in secret but-”
“But ours is the largest.” The large man finished for her. Her voice was shaking too much to go on. He continued with a grave tone. “You are a writer, you must have some imagination that we do not. You come from a planet that has ways of killing that we do not. Our first priority is not to get our people to believe that the creatures exist, but to destroy them, or at least find a way.”
Jimmy paused thinking. Finally, after many minutes, he came to a decision. “Well, I cant say I can be of much help…” he sighed. “But I will try to do what I can. On the other hand, what am I supposed to do with my life now?”
The large man leaned forward. “I will let lady Sinn take that question.” He nodded toward the blue-haired woman; she seemed to have composed herself already.
She cleared her throat, and began. “We suggest that you settle down. Change your name and dye your hair, you will fit in fine. You will of course be mentored by none other than Cyril and myself, for you deserve none other than the finest we can offer.” She said quietly. Cyril stood up. “As the leader of the White Hats, I and my assistant Sinn hope to ensure that your life here on Oroes will be pleasant. We do try to make things more pleasant for others.” He chortled heartily.
That night, as Jimmy lay awake in the room prepared for him, he began to wonder a great many things. The council had seemingly known how he was going to arrive in Oroes and also it seemed that they knew when as well. But nevertheless he liked them; to him The White Hats seemed quite a lot like Robin Hood and his merry men.
* * * * * * * *
Cyril awoke abruptly to a knock on his door. He opened it to reveal a cloaked and hooded figure standing there. “Ah Erebis, it seems that your prophecy was correct. Help, or something similar I’m sure, came today.”
Erebis chuckled. “Heh heh, my good friend.” He sighed in a creaky voice. The hood of his cloak fell back to reveal that this man was in no way young. His pale yellow hair was thin, hanging in clumped sections. The dark tanned skin around his pastel pink eye whites (void of pupils or irises) was wrinkled to the point of near collapse. “That is all good and well,” he wheezed. “But I am afraid that I have another. What pray tell, do you know of the surname ‘Marx’…?”
The two conversed to near midnight, discussing the past present and future of Oroes…
Prologue Section B The Life of Jimmy [I promise this one is much shorter]
For Jimmy Collins, time went on. He dyed his hair and changed his last name to something a bit more abstract. It all worked well and good and he even found great ways to help out in The White Hats. With each day he spent in Oroes, he grew fonder of the planet and its people. As promised, Cyril and Sinn watched over him and made his life pleasant. They were his closest friends, though he actually regarded them as family. After about a year or two, Jimmy became engaged to a strikingly beautiful girl named Oleander, and shortly after they were married with all of his newfound family and friends present. To honor the kindness that had been shown him by The White Hats in his own way, he named his first and only child Robin. ((Of course all who heard of the strangely absurd name for an Oneder just laughed.)) [yay!! Here comes my first main character ever to not be based off me!]
Robin Marx was a bright, spunky child growing up. She was pretty although she looked slightly boyish and unlike the other girls she grew up with, she was not shockingly beautiful. Poor Robin was more human than anything else, but sadly she was kept in the dark about that little snippet of information. Her mother had died while laying her egg, so she did not have one and she always supposed that her father was just overly plain. Despite the fact that Robin looked nothing like it, she grew up a true Oneder. When she was 16, Jimmy sent his daughter away to boarding school, determined that she reap the benefits that all wealthy children at that time. Reluctantly, she obliged.
With Robin away at school, Jimmy cracked down harder than ever at finding a way to kill the evil Creatures that threatened the existence of all the people that he had grown to love so much. 1 month after sending his daughter away, Jimmy discovered that way. In another week Jimmy died of mysterious causes, leaving everything he owned to poor Robin. The story begins with her…
[chapter one is nearly finished]
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Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:45 pm
Chapter 1 Section A An Average Oneder
“Dude! You must be so psyched! I mean, its not every day that someone’s dad dies!!! And he’s an inventor! That will is gonna be so sweet!!”
Robin sighed. “Jonis Marluxia Rauhiqe Corrimsant,” she started. “I-” He grimaced at the sound of his name. He was a slight average looking Oneder. His hair was a very light shade of blue, almost an offset of white that clashed horribly with his canary yellow eyes. His eyes however, were more than just a light yellow. Swirling in his irises stood a thin black line, which began to rotate slightly at his annoyance. “It’s Jon.” he growled slightly. “And I know, you already have what he willed you.” He said glancing at the small makeshift book in Robin’s hands. “But life is more than just a fairy tale! Pretending that the story is real is like saying your father is alive when he is obviously not.”
Nevertheless, Robin tucked the book safely under her pillow and patted it once. “You’re wrong.” She said. “You just don’t have any Onedan spirit! Magic exists and you have seen it! To say that that doesn’t exist is like saying that you don’t exist, that none of us do.”
Jon laughed. After a couple of moments he spoke again quietly. “Touché, but since when have you been able to do magic?” he asked coyly.
Robin did not reply. She seemed to be even less magical than the lowest Toqwyrm. People always thought she was either weird, or born with some kind of birth defect. It was somewhat humiliating. She glanced at her CDG. (Celestial diagram: a type of watch) “It’s almost time for the ceremony.” She announced. Pushing him out the door. “Now, if you please, I would like to put better clothes on.” She closed the door and pulled open her closet. From it she selected a white shirt, a sleek black vest, and some matching black slacks. She put them on and pulled her pendant from within her shirt and put on some shoes. Last, she pulled the fake ponytail and bonding charm from her extremely short auburn hair and shook it free of its bondage. She studied her reflection in the mirror for a moment, her gaze stopping on her abnormal hazel eyes. The irises were rimmed in dark brown and they shone a strangely muddy yellowish green. They were flecked with the same color they were rimmed with. Her father had always told her that her mother had simply been exotic, but Robin was not satisfied with that. It didn’t matter what he told her, she would always feel like she didn’t belong.
After a few moments, Robin turned away from the mirror and headed for the door, grabbing the black coat and matching top hat that went with the rest of her ceremony ensemble. Once outside, she turned to Jon. “how do I look?” she asked.
“Like a dude.” He started hesitantly. “As usual. You really don’t seem to grasp the concept that girls don’t wear suits.” He laughed playfully.
“Well, I figured since I don’t look that feminine, I might as well play up what I do have instead of complaining about what I don’t.” she sighed. “Never mind, I’m going to get Core now.”
Core was curled up in his bed next to the couch when Robin finally found him after much searching. The little Raptor had been seemingly ill since the death of Jimmy, being imprinted on Robin, he always seemed to reflect her hidden feelings. Despite this, at the sound of his master’s voice, he perked up instantly.
Robin could feel the deep purr resounding from Core as she fit his saddle on rather hastily. She smiled, always as happy to see her friend, as he was to see her. He followed her out the front door where they met Jon and his raptor, Seris. (See-riss) unlike the usual purple and orange seen on Core, Seris’ colors were a range of light blues and greens, the lightest quite similar to Jon’s hair. Together, they mounted their ‘steeds’ and set off.
They arrived at the Ceremony Hall with time to spare. Because Cyril, a close family friend, had put the entire ceremony together, neither Robin nor Jon had to lift a finger. He had done an amazing job as well; the room was laden with only the finest décor, roses on every table and very nice music coming from the floating orbs on either side of the MW (The Onedan equivalent to a DJ. It has to do with the type of sound systems used on Oroes.)
Soon, people began to arrive. There were so many that Robin had never seen and she halfheartedly wondered if her father even knew them. Some even had Dark skin. As she stared at all the unfamiliar faces, the Vicar began to read her father’s Will.
True to her expectations, her father had left most everything he owned to her and a few things to other people. Robin listened patiently as the Vicar droned on and on in his flat, monotonous whisper. Just when she thought he was done, he pulled out an old cardboard box.
“To Robin Marx and Jonis Marluxia Rauhiqe Corrimsant, use it well.” He rasped as he dropped the parcel into her hands. She stood there, confused, as the old man began the Sendoff Rites. “James Marx was a good man, a true Oneder, and well loved by all. We gather here in hopes that his departure comes smoothly with no regret. For those who were close to this man, do not despair and do not mourn, rejoice taht one more among us has shed the bonds of mortality.”
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Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 11:49 am
Chapter 1 Section B Crushed
With that he strode to the table where Robin sat. He poured himself a tall one and began to drink the substance within. “A good man your father was. You should be proud.”
Robin smiled. “I Am.” She sighed. “I’m gonna miss him.” “Definitely an amazing mind he had there.” The man chortled downing his beer. “I always did say that alcoholic beverages were that man’s greatest invention.” “Eh… sure.” She replied. that man’s liver will never survive… she thought to herself, rolling her eyes as she got up and ran to the back room taking the box with her. She placed it down and hurried to return, the party was already heating up. The door slammed shut, the mysterious box lying there lost and forgotten as the music started up.
Robin was pleased to discover that, although there were many people that she didn’t know present, all of her friends had attended. There were other familiar faces of course, the occasional friend of her father’s, their children, and many members of the shrewd, wealthy social class in which Robin had lived her entire life. She continued to look around at all the people, and that’s when she saw her. Demitra. [Deh-Meeee-trah]
Robin stared at the obviously beautiful girl; watching her sit down and marveling at the way her long purple hair fell, perfect glittering waves shifting lighter and darker as the lights changed above them. As she stared, obviously smitten by the unexpected arrival, she heard a voice behind her.
“Why don’t you just go talk to her? What do you have to lose?” the voices asked, giggling slightly, and in her voice, the slightest of tinkling bells could be heard.
“You’re funny.” Robin replied sarcastically, turning to Pollux. “You know I can’t do that. She’s way out of my league.”
She flicked back her short hair. It was midnight blue in color; so dark it was almost black. Her hair was parted on the right side and two clips stood fastening a thick streak of gray-green hair out of the way on the opposite side of her head. “You never know unless you try.” She said coolly, giving Robin a slight push in Demitra’s direction.
Robin sighed, knowing that her friend was right. She let the push carry her, and before she realized what was happening, she was already walking up to the object of her affections.
The girl smiled. “Robin, good to see you! Sorry to hear about your father, but you’ll be able to talk to him again once you visit the Valley of Souls. Well, after his soul does depart.” She said brightly, evidently trying to make idle conversation.
“Yes, well, I don’t know if I’ll be able to. With his affairs to take care of and all, but at least I know that he will be okay.”
“Well, after all, that’s what these ceremonies are about. To make sure a life as awesome as Jimmy’s goes out with a bang.”
Robin cleared her throat. “Well, actually.” she started nervously. “I came over here to ask if I could…. If I could have this dance.” With that, she took off her hat and bowed low, extending her hand with uncertainty.
Demitra drew breath sharply. “I’m sorry?” she replied confused.
“I… I like you.” Robin said, trying again. “I’d like to get to know you better.”
The color drained from Demitra’s pretty face. “I can’t.” Before Robin could even ask, he appeared. Byron. She snorted with disgust.
“Hey, sexy. How are you enjoying the party?” he asked Demitra, toying with a lock of her shimmering hair. She beamed at him and he glared at Robin. “Too bad it’s wasted on a crackpot like Jimmy Marx,” he snickered, apparently proud of himself. “And hosted by a girl that’s way too masculine to be female, it’s a joke.”
That was about the moment Robin snapped. She stood up and replaced her hat. “Well, I could say the same for you. I’ve never seen a female as ugly as Byron Orate, [Or-ut] or as stupid. I guess after buying his way into the king’s favor, your daddy didn’t have enough money left to buy you a brain.” She lashed out, for although he was large, Byron thought only with his muscles, too vain to care about anything else in life. Sadly, it was those people who ruled Sedenno, and Robin knew it.
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Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 12:59 pm
tinkling bells made me lol. I like how you write dialogue because you also describe whats going on.
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