Welcome to Gaia! ::

Figured I should post a rant from a time when I was in a darker mindset since nowadays I dont rant about anything and I'm a rather happy person

this is a rant I made when I officially lost my faith after attending a church camp called lake lucerne which my religious family pretty much forces me to attend (I'll be a counselor next year too) Its not so much a rant as a one-sided dialogue but Its all your getting :<

My name is-b*****d Son


My earthly father abandoned me and so did my heavenly father...

I dont need a father and I will never forgive them

I will not come crawling back and I will not be on my knees

I dont question your existence but I question your parenting

you left me and your followers shunned me

yet the ones who curse your name picked me up

your religion is a joke and your dont even try to defend yourself

I dont need a father and I dont need a god

you gave me life and I should be grateful but I wont thank someone who has their back turned

Lake lucerne touched me spiritually but not in the way they intended

I'm kind of hoping that you don't still believe all that...

Seems sort of a rushed and illogical assumption to me.


And sort of slightly off-topic: The one thing I hate about a lot of religions is that they sell their god(s) to be infallible and never be wrong. Ever. And that life has some sort of destined or redetermined path. I never believed that much. I have faith that life is rational through irrationality.

If certain things never happened most of us would have never earned or happenchanced onto some of the sweeter things of our life now. I can understand being upset, but the anger and despodence has to go away at some point so you can truly live to the best of your ability.

I hope you're not so emotionally timuluous now, and maybe you've been able to accept and things that you can't change, and embrace the things you can see in a new light. I never liked that silly serenity prayer much as a child because you can't change those things around you. You can influence it to change, but ultimately the only thing you can change is how you react.

Much like I say magic isn't immediate power, it's influence. The only thing you can do is hope the influence is enough to change something. If it doesn't change it... then you accept it, and move on.



Bah, I ramble too much. Not to mention I'm sort of all over the place right now. Sort of ********. Sick, hyper, caffeinated, sleep-deprived. Riht! I'm going before I say too much. >.<

(this is devious delilah using ser3rus' account)
I've met around 4 or 5 satanists in my life-time, and each one was rather self-absorbed and... not right. Sort of abusive or manipulative in some way or form.

*shrugs* There's always an exception, but I just don't know if it sits well with me abut having such black and white reactions and perceptions of things.

Having the belief that life is in your hands is a good one; however, things can't always go your way. It's how you see it that changes the situation. I don't put my life in the hands of my deity; I put my faith in my deity to give me little boosts. Neither good nor bad. Just boosts. Sometimes it's something seemingly bad, but really it helps.

With me, existence and the entirity of it -is- god. Therefore chaos, certainty, my body, my soul, humanity, irrationality, the cosmos and everything is the greater entity. Because this entity is everything(which I see as infinite) it is greater than the sum of it's parts. Therefore, in a sense I put my faith in existence which includes me. In the end my beliefs at their most basic constructs are atheist or possibly agnostic... I just revere each part of that whole as a holy embodiment to make existence possible.

In that sense, I worship all through the parts and the whole. I've thought about this I could think. ;-; I think it's a bit obvious. >.<