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Dear Tulane University,

I thank you for your interest in me and your confidence in my academic abilities. I notice, though, that excluding the several emails I simply deleted, I have recieved no less than seven others from you. I get the sodding point. Yes, I understand that you would greatly appreciate my attendance. Yes, I do realize that there are exciting opportunities available to me at Tulane; I'm well aware that it's one of the number one party universities in the country (I suppose date-rape is exciting for someone). Yes, I comprehend the fact that you need people to say that they want to attend so that the government will provide you with funds to rebuild the damn place after Katrina.

That does not, however, give you license to harrass me about it.

I appreciate the opportunity to learn more about Tulane University. One email would have been sufficient. Anything more than two is excessive if I don't show continued interest. In fact, aside from you, Duke University is the only one that saw fit to email me more than twice, and that was because they had updated their website.

So, with all due respect, shut the ******** up and leave me alone, you annoying, ******** a**-pirates.

Yours,

Eviloverqueen