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is a relationship with an under age person o.k.?
  It's fine
  I guess it's o.k. if your careful
  It depends on the situation and the people
  No it's not alright.
  No Way Ever!
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syketheassai

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 5:51 am


This is a serious discussion.

Is a relationship with an under age person really a problem?

I'm of the opinion that it depends on the situation and also if you don't actually do anything.

what do other people think?
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 6:32 am


It really does depend on the circumstances and the people involved if shall we say a 13 year old got with a 18 year old i would worry yes because it is a big gap but that is not the problem the problem would be there majorly under age. But if it was a 13 year old and 16 year old then it would be slightly different as long as it was not sexually active. But if the person is 15 then that is another matter because there becoming of age and whats more they begin to know there own feelings, there own bodies and it can change who they are expecially from what they were when they were 13 as a 13 year old is only just becoming a teenager.

but if it was a underage person and someone over 25 then i would worry as well because something more could be there and if there isnt well people would assume there was and it could cause major issues within the community, family and friends which is never a good thing, relationships are hard and adding to there hardship is never wise.

Angelic_Highlights
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syketheassai

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:11 am


Thanks Angelic_Highlights.

Your right about those different age situations. I could not have put it better myself.

But i want to know what the people here think of that kind of situation. Especially since my own situation In a different section highlights this age issue with people who are under age.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:47 am


We had this discussion in Hebrew School. We pretty much decided that if the partners are within 2 years of each other than it is fine. I personally feel that with other circumstances that it depends on the situation. Like with your situation, syke, i'm not eggactly sure because I don't know enough information.

MonsieurSponge


syketheassai

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 8:21 am


I understand what your saying EggaxSponge.

After i made my last post here. i realised that when i first met the person in my situation she was not quite 14. but when things first happened she was 14. i would have been 20 at the time. 6 year gap.

It does sound kinda a little wrong now about what it was when it started now that i look back. but it was a 2 way street If anyone can remember my old Avi that was somthing she designed for me. It also in a way represented our relationship. (enough said) And i said at the begining that i would go with whatever she felt comfortable with.

But that's just my relationship. but because of her i've only been at my comp twice with any Alcohol in me. First time i was talking to her while drinking Cider (After that i made a promice never to do it again even though my head was almost totatly clear. and i hardly drink anyway). the only other time she wasn't on.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:06 am


he pulls on her wires;

It depends on the maturity of the person in question; but, age can also be a factor.

I think it'd be hideous for anyone below the age of 16 to date someone considerably older than them.
(I.E., an age gap more than two years.)

The reason for this is that most aren't ready for a relationship before they're 16. You need a certain level of maturity before you accept that someone else will become a part of your life; especially in a world such as ours, where sex dominates the media and carnal desires seem to override emotion and empathy.

she jerks to attention.

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MonsieurSponge

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:34 am


Yeah, I would say it is a bit of a big age gap. I mean, I have relationships on the internet, but I don't take a whole lot more out of them than a really good friend. My gaia wife and I have been married for a year and two months, and we're just like really good friends....since neither one of us is actually sexually attracted to the other... xd Online relationships can be different than real-life ones, unless you want to do what Angelic did and meet people you fall in love with on the internet irl. (She met her fiancee that way, but they lived in the same country). I think that you and your online gf live far enough away that the chances of this happening are slim, especially since she did not ask you before attempting to stay at your parent's place. So yeah, I would try and hold onto this girl, but maybe not in as deep a relationship as you would like it to be. From what it sounds like she's not ready to compromise with you on this, hence she would have asked for your phone number to call and talk about her coming to visit you. You should find a girl who's ready to take you seriously, syke, you're too nice of a guy to hope for commitment from someone who isn't ready to give it.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:50 am


Well she meant to ask me. but she just never did. and she thought i said no.

As for her Maturity. She is mature far beyond her age M U R D E R O T I C!

So i don't think you are in a possition to Judge me purely biased on Age!

syketheassai


MonsieurSponge

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 10:07 am


syketheassai
Well she meant to ask me. but she just never did. and she thought i said no.

As for her Maturity. She is mature far beyond her age M U R D E R O T I C!

So i don't think you are in a possition to Judge me purely biased on Age!


Um that doesn't really make sence. She was going to ask you, but she forgot, and thought you said no? Did she assume you would say no?
PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 10:50 am


EggaxSponge
syketheassai
Well she meant to ask me. but she just never did. and she thought i said no.

As for her Maturity. She is mature far beyond her age M U R D E R O T I C!

So i don't think you are in a possition to Judge me purely biased on Age!


Um that doesn't really make sence. She was going to ask you, but she forgot, and thought you said no? Did she assume you would say no?


She thought she asked me. But i can find no record of it. unless i either missed something in the group chats (which is i think unlikely) Or she asked someone else by accident. Of course she could have dreamed it. Whatever happened, she thought i had "brushed it off". I don't think she's up for looking herself for when she might have said it.

She knew i wanted to meet her. And i would have jumped at the chance once i cleared it with my own parents. Besides if it didn't work out then it didn't work out.

But basically i don't know what she thought i would say, But she meant to ask me which suggests she thought i would say yes. So your right EggaxSponge she meant to ask me.

(can we take my personal discussion to my thread please. Not here)

syketheassai


k i r s c h e 084

PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2007 6:37 pm


It's hard to comment where exactly you are in regards to these types of relationships because it sort of depends on the relationship. I mean, sometimes a 20 year old really does fall in love with a 16 year old. Sometimes it is really love, and there are no underlying motives at all. However, it can always go the other way. A friend of mine was 15 and her boyfriend was 32 when they met, and let me tell you, his intentions were not gentleman-like.
I understand the whole "age aint nothing but a number" debate, and I know that's true, but when you're that young you make foolish decisions that will affect the rest of your life. Maturity doesn't have anything to do with it, when you're young you're malleable, you're still at that young age where outside views can change you. And when you're that naive, you tend to believe this relationship is going to last forever, they can tell you anything they want and you're so inexperienced that you actually believe it.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 1:56 am


Salutations.

I've read your other post, so I know which situation you relate this to.
But, that's not what I am here to discuss.

Allow me to begin with mentioning I voted for the "Depends on the situation" option aswell.

I believe in love, even though it can be extremely painful at times, and I also believe that you can't help falling in love with someone older or younger than yourself.
So, technically, I am not against a relationship with a large age difference.
It is commonly known that the age gaps increase as people get older, which is understandable aswell.
It's simply because of maturity, because maturity levels does matter in a relationship, there's no way to work around that as far as I know.

I'll tell you my personal story - I think you'll be able to relate to it at certain points and aspects.

I met my current girlfriend online, in a roleplaying game (Ragnarok Online) in January this year. We spent around 6 months talking to each other daily, for hours, over the game and MSN and other online communication systems.
After a few months, she declared her love to me..

I was seventeen at the time, and she was only fourteen - The age gap between us is around three and a half years.
She is most definently mature for her age, though, but even so I'd never imagine myself going out with someone so young.
It didn't take long before I completely ignored that, though..

I can't say I didn't see it comming, and I felt strongly about her aswell.
However, we left everything unofficial 'til the day we would meet in real life. Due note that we alredy at this stage had talked about seeing one another during the summer.

Granted, I fell deeply in love before we ever met, and I rejected all and any proposal I got from other girls, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. It just didn't feel right, you know?
In July, we met face to face.. She lives in a different country and everything, but I caught a plane and traveled down to see her.

It was a great success, and we spent two weeks together.
She told me it was the best weeks of her life.
And I think it might have been the best of mine, aswell.

We're still together now, talking online and over the phone on an everyday basis. *Smiles*
Surely, the long distance is hard to handle, but we're alredy discussing our next meeting and I know I'll see her again before the end of the year. 3nodding

And that's the end of this little tale, for now. *Winks*

I guess that pretty much explains my point of view on this matter. It does to me, at least.

Regarding your own story, your own relationship to the younger girl that I've read about in your other post.. I think you took it more serious than she did.
I'm drawing that conclusion simply because she went offline for months without telling you the reason beforehand. That's no way to treat your loved ones. *Frowns*
(Me and my girlfriend can't spend three days apart without going slightly crazy and calling each other. neutral )

And now, it seems that she has moved on but refuse to let go completely.
Or perhaps she has, but refuse to give you the closure you need.
Either way, it's a torment to you..
The only advice I can give you right now, is to let go and move on - Even if you feel not all hope is lost yet, and it's too early to make such a dramatic move, it'll do you good in the long run.
Painful, yes - But you are going through agony everyday because of this..
Think of it as a band aid - Just rip it off and get it over with. *Sighs*

I'll be around if you want to talk, mate. 3nodding
And sorry for the extreme length of this post.


Sataric


syketheassai

PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 5:26 am


k i r s c h e 084: I know about the age is just a number argument and i don't believe in that.

What i do believe in is that it depends fully on the people involved.

I know also about people who's intentions are not gentleman-like. However I've always tried to make it clear that I'm a far cry from uneducated, uncivilised, Out of control people.

I know where she goes when she disappears normally. She gets busy with something and i have no right to discuss it you. By rights, I shouldn't know either but i do.

Sataric: My Situation is similar to yours. All the time scales on every level is different. But when it came to an issue of meeting each other. that's where things broke down. but I'm not going to repeat myself.

Suffice to say that she got upset and found someone else's shoulder to cry on. I hope that we can resolve the issue when she comes back. as for me Flying anywhere that's not possible right now. I'm a Degree Student, i don't have a job, And i don't have a passport or driving licence yet. so to fly over 5000 miles is a little difficult for me. That's partly when i did finally find out about her trip actually being arranged it did surprise me a little. But by then it was too late to change any plans.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2007 10:34 pm


My freshman year {Last Year} I was going out with a senior. I was 14 and he was 18, 4 year gap. I guess it was sort've different for me though. The most we did was kiss, and he wasn't exactly your average guy. He was really sweet and silly, my parents even liked him. But I ended up breaking up with him for the fact he was going to college the next year, plus the fact I wasn't ready or experienced enough yet to be with him. We're still close friends though, and I'm happy I chose the decision I did. I guess it really depends on the people and the situation though.. Responsibility is key.

EDIT: Sorry ^^"

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syketheassai

PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 8:01 am


I would just like to remind people that the poll is their opinion on the issue not their opinion on my circumstances. If people want to talk about my issues. post it in the right thread or IM me please.

It detracts from the purpose of the thread.

Although my issues are relivent. and the cause for this thread. My issues are not the actual subject for debate. I just want to make this clear oweing to the large number of referances to my own issues.

I just don't want people getting the idea that this is about me asking if my relationship is o.k. More looking at the whole contraversial discussion that instances like mine bring up.

---------
Edit:

I say this because i am personally disturbed by the 1 vote for "It's Fine"
I put that option into the poll on the grounds that i knew almost nonoe would go for that option. It is a good idea to leave a question fully open.like that. but for somone to come out and say that they believe that such a relationship is fine reguardless is i find very shocking.

Although it is possable that somone read the poll or simply didn't read it and voted. In which case that is understandable.
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