Welcome to Gaia! ::

I have discovered the world and myself in a whole new light. The revelation came after going to the fourth plateau on DXM. I was in every reality at once, and time and space became irrelevant to my mind. It's still mostly fuzzy, as NMDA receptors ******** with your memory. But I realized That which I am; that essence some like to call the soul, I suppose. And I felt ever so connected to my thoughts, and everything around me. I became that eternity that I discovered.

And now I just want to live my life, and smell the flowers; and see that ever so intrinsic design that composes life. I see shades of colors that I never noticed before, and hear melodies that went unnoticed before, and it seems that I have just woken up to the reality around me, and the thoughts inside me, and the emotions and feelings that are produced by everything around me. I now understand some parts of Zen; those abstractions that hold such powerful ideas I never really knew before.

And I shared the experience with someone. She was hundreds of miles away from me, and hadn't tried any drugs before, but she understands. And we talked about our simple amazement of this universe that we live in... and I think I'm in love, because whenever I talk with her I just can't help but be happy, and I now understand that love and hate aren't opposites. It's just the intensity of emotion that we feel that matters.

I have become alive, in a sense that I never knew possible. Mmm... now I just want to excercise, and be in touch with my thoughts, be in love and be loved.

I have never felt such a connection with goodness before, as if I've discovered what religion is meant to be. All those subjective questions that confused me before seem to be answered whenever I asked them.

I have become alive.

Actually, I myself have been taking a break. Been "sober" for a little over a month.

Never say never. I'm sure if circumstances are right, and I find a reason to trip, I'd trip. Also, to try something new.