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 Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 8:47 pm
There was a look in Ellyn's eyes and it chilled Gideon straight to the bone. He was already tensing up, preparing for whatever blow he was going to have to weather next. He was prepared for it to have been something dealing with Nicias, maybe even Rayne and he was ready to try and smoothing things over with them. Lucas though? Lucas was another problem in itself and Gideon swore he blacked out for half a second at the mention of that name. There was absolutely no love lost between the two of them. He hadn't like the late night running that Ellyn did for him at some points and he still didn't like it. He was still ready to forgive him for going to Lucas of all people until he spoke up again and Gideon just stared at his fiance.
"You...I..." He couldn't speak, couldn't think. There was such a loud roar in his ears and it was painful and he had to sit down. He did, moving to collapse onto the couch, hiding his face in his hands. Llewellyn had cheated on him, or was convinced he had done enough for it to be counted as such. High out of his mind or not, Llewellyn had slept with someone else. The information was hard to process and Gideon couldn't speak still. The ring on his finger felt so much heavier now. Of all the times in the beginning where Ellyn had been so sure that Gideon would be the one to cheat. He had a history of sleeping around after all, it'd only make sense. But, he hadn't and now this happened and he was at a loss. He had trusted Llewellyn, had told him at the start that he was unsure of this, that he didn't know. And then this. He had asked, half-jokingly at the start for the other to not ******** him over and well, here they were.
He wasn't even aware of the point when he had started to cry, the wet tracks making their way down his cheeks a surprise to him. Still, he kept his face hidden behind his hands, not making a noise. "If you didn't want to be with me anymore, you could have told me," he finally forced out, voice quiet.
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Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 9:07 pm
"No, no, Gid, I want you!" Ellyn's voice rose in pitch as he moved away from the door, pausing before the couch, unsure. His throat was dry, and his chest ached. Never in all the time they spent together did he see it coming to this. He never planned on this happening, and he'd never, never do it to rid himself of his fiance. Finally, he did move to sit next to him, throwing his arms back around him in a desperate attempt to make everything okay, "It was a mistake. I didn't mean for it to happen. I just wanted things to be okay! I wanted to make things better, and I thought--" He held tighter, running out of words to stumble over and pressed his forehead against the top of Gideon's head, burying his face in his hair. Everything had felt off that night, and he knew now he'd been missing his fiance, and that his body had been telling him to go home, even when his mind couldn't process it.
"I'd never do it to you again, god, I never wanted to in the first place. I want you to stay." All it was was excuse after excuse. What more could he do? Ellyn shook, crying with him, "I ******** up. I ******** up, just...please give me a chance to make it right. Please don't leave me. I need you. I love you, Gideon. I love you so much. I know I haven't been very good to you, but I can be better. I can fix this." He leaned back just a bit, running his fingers through his fiance's hair, "I didn't ask you to marry me for nothing...give me another chance.."
There was a voice in the back of his head, though. Lucas'. He had to do another run for him whenever it was the man decided to call, but... That wasn't important to mention just yet. He needed to know Gid would stay before he made it worse..
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Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2014 9:38 pm
Gideon still wasn't entirely sure what to say himself. He was supposed to just forgive Ellyn and they'd move on and it'd all be okay right? That's what was supposed to happen here and he felt sick thinking how desperately he wanted it to be that easy. He hated himself a little for leaning into Ellyn's touch. He had been starved for contact for a while now. He got an arm free and wrapped it around the blond's waist, pulling him in closer. "Ellyn," he rasped, finally moving to fully envelope him in an embrace, squeezing him tightly. He felt so stupidly weak right now, clinging to his fiance like he was in light of absolutely everything.
He'd keep his face hidden in against the others neck as he forced himself to speak. "I love you but I can't forgive you right now. I really can't. I was scared when I woke up and you weren't where you should have been." Gideon pulled back to look at Ellyn directly, bringing his hands up to cup his face between them. They were both still crying and it was a horrible mess but it was them. "I'm so mad at you but I love you and I'm not leaving. Just, stop. I can't...", his voice faltered and he swallowed hard. He let him go so he could wipe at his eyes. Gideon wasn't sure what to do now, he was still so mad at him but he didn't want to just leave Ellyn here on his own to fall to pieces. "I need to go take a shower," he said softly, trying to think of any reason to at least get a little distance between them right now. He couldn't look at Ellyn anymore, it hurt too much and he needed a moment to himself to just be able to breathe.
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Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 7:34 am
Ellyn hadn't been expecting to be forgiven right away, but it still stung to hear it outright, "I understand. I'll earn your trust back, Gid... I just hope the rest of ours lives is enough." The only saving grace was knowing he'd stay. If Gid left... Llewellyn didn't allow himself to go down that road, and instead pulled his hands in toward himself, allowing his fiance to walk around and go shower. Every piece of himself screamed to follow him, and smother him with love and attention in that second, to try and bandage everything with the affection he'd been withholding since that night he woke up in the hospital. He respected Gid's wishes, though, and didn't move a muscle.
He thought about eating, but didn't feel like it. That would be selfish right now, anyhow. He thought about taking Gideon out on a date, but that would be just to get back in his good graces, anyway, and again, selfish. He thought about asking him to play games, like it was any other night, but this wasn't any other night, and dismissing this as nothing was selfish. Ellyn walked himself in circles, hiding his face in his hands, and raking his fingers back through his hair, catching against knots. How could he be so stupid? He'd trusted Lucas. He knew the guy was a little nutty, but he didn't for a second think he'd go against clear boundaries. There was no way he could do another run for him.
Ellyn extracted his dying phone from his pocket, and pulled up Lucas' number, :: Your ego isn't worth my future with my fiance. Find someone else. I owe you nothing.
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Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 12:11 pm
Gideon just...he honestly had no idea what to even do right now. It wasn't like in the beginning when they had their fights and he could go back to his old man's and stay there for a day or two until this all sorted itself out. They had moved beyond that and now the couch didn't even seem like much of a punishment to him. He scrubbed at his hair roughly, wincing as he tugged at the curls. Yes, he hurt but he was still worried about Ellyn and it was taking a good bit of his concentration to not let himself get mired down with the need to check up on him, to make sure he was okay after what happened to him. He had a right to be upset, didn't he? Gideon sighed, ducking his head beneath the spray of warm water. He watched the suds swirl around and go down the drain, suddenly realizing just how tired he was for only having been up for a few hours. He wanted to go back to bed and he also wanted to call up his boss and say he could come in later, maybe pick up a few more shifts at the warehouse. Work would be a great distraction but he knew he wouldn't do it.
He finished cleaning himself up and stepped out of the shower, towel around his waist. He stood before the mirror and reached out to clear away some of the steam from it so he could look at himself. Even with his curls damp and hanging down, they still looked a mess. He snorted a bit as he started at himself in the mirror, even going so far as to make faces at himself before just tossing another towel over his head and rubbing at the moisture in his air with it. They could fix this he kept telling himself. He gave up on his hair soon enough and just got dressed, pulling on his boxers and sweatpants, forgoing the shirt. If he wasn't leaving the house today, there wasn't any real reason to get dressed. He was reaching over to turn out the light when it caught his eye. Ellyn's hair straightener was sitting on the edge of the sink and he slowly started to smile. He tossed the towels into the laundry basket before grabbing up the straightener, some scissors, a comb and brush and some hair ties. It was a crazy idea but it was the best he could come up with at the moment.
Gideon held everything close to him and made his way back into the living room, around the couch and finally stopping in front of Ellyn right where he had left him on the couch. He held out the brush to him, the smile a little more hesitant now. "Can you uh...my hair. It's getting out of hand..." A peace offering, the best he had right now.
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Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:31 am
After sending the text, he sat in the front room, still as a rock with his head in his hands. Ellyn had finally managed to calm himself down, and start breathing, as he tried to recall the events of last night, but it was just all so cloudy, and the harder he though, the more he felt he lost. Even if he could recall all of it, he knew something had happened, and that was bad enough. Something that was slowly falling apart was now...this mess. All because of his silly desperation to fix something that couldn't easily be fixed. Sounds of Gid's return caught his ears, but he didn't manage to look up until he heard his voice, not sure what to do, or how to act. He just stared up at him, his mind going blank and everything going quiet. Those mossy green eyes held his attention, almost so completely that he nearly missed what Gideon had asked of him.
When Llewellyn did finally look away, he pursed his lips, instantly wanting to turn down the idea, because it was too soon. It had to be. He felt as if Gid really ought to spend more time being mad at him, and pushing him away, that there should have been more resistance. That this really couldn't be how it was going to go because he deserved so much worse, even when he'd asked for a chance. Especially after the way he'd treated his fiance after just...sending him to a medical facility, like any sane person would do in his situation. For caring. ********, he could feel tears at his eyes again, and he took a long shaky breath, looking back up and nodding, "Yeah.. Yeah, come here, I'll.." He didn't finish his sentence, but motioned for Gid to sit in front of him on the floor, as he took the things from his hands and set them all about on the sofa. He plugged in the straightener, and set it on the table, running the brush through his fiance's hair first, starting with the ends.
He was careful not to hurt him, trimming the dead ends away, and straightening out his curls once they were properly groomed. He tossed the used hairties aside after pulling the sections loose to flatiron, then ran his fingers lovingly through his hair, from front to back. Ellyn could touch up the areas he'd missed later, he reasoned, and turned the straightener off, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Gid's neck from behind, "I'm sorry," He started, his voice barely above a whisper, "not just for last night, but for everything. For neglecting you. For mistreating you. For being angry with you. You deserve to be treated...better than I've been treating you, by a long shot, and..it's a miracle I.. I never thought I'd have you in the first place, and for me to treat you like.. You're not worth fighting for now that you're mine..?" The blond paused, disappointment obvious in his voice with each word. It sounded worse to hear it from his own mouth, "I don't deserve you, but I swear.. I swear, I'll change. I'll be a man you can be proud of. A man you can trust to be your husband."
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Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2014 12:38 pm
If anything, he wanted something that at least felt close to normal and having Llewellyn fuss with his hair was about as normal as it could be. That, and it was something they both enjoyed. He relaxed back against the couch between Ellyn's legs and closed his eyes as he let his boy do whatever crazy magic he worked on his hair to get it to cooperate. It was soothing and he didn't even flinch when Ellyn snaked arms around his neck. He reached up to place a hand on his arm, letting the blond talk himself out. Gideon couldn't just turn him away, it wasn't in him to do such a thing even if he was upset and honestly, he was relieved that Ellyn was okay. He didn't respond right away though, content with being held for a little while as he tried to sort through his own thoughts. "It's not worth it to be mad at you," he finally said after Ellyn had been quite for some time. "I don't want you tiptoeing around afraid to do something that you'll think will make me mad after this. You're here, you came back to me, you're not going anywhere, you still want me. I'll get over everything else." This really wasn't even the worst that he'd been treated in the past. He 'dated' a few guys before, yeah, and Ellyn was still a lot better than them even with this thing.
Gideon was content to stay as they were but he knew he'd have to move eventually to at least get some of the basic things done around their home. It was then a thought hit him and came forth before he could even properly think it over himself. "We..we should go somewhere," he said softly. "Somewhere that isn't this stupid town. A vacation or something. I can work a few more shifts and we can go to the coast. This place doesn't seem to be doing either of us any good so why not just go?"
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