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 Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 9:22 am
silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ I'm not sure the exact reason for him being depressed but I think it was a self confidence thing, like he felt people would be better off without him even though I explain multiple times how he was wrong. I think I helped him.... He seems a lot better when I see him now, although I do worry most of the time weather it's an act or not. Our relationship only ended for that one day then he sent me loads of apology texts saying he was stupid for letting me go and stuff but he's seemed better since.... That friend was one of those friends who you told everything to and their house was your second home and visa versa. We had so much in common and shared so many secrets. She had gone on holiday and when she got back she just ignored me from that day on. The worst time was at a friends sleepover the other girls were having a one on one talks and we were left standing there. I asked her how she was and she just turned around and walked away even though she heard me. I talked to her any chance I got but now I'm just fed up of no reply so might just stop all together. Hmm.. confidence is hard to attain. I myself find it hard to hold on to. It's good that you helped it! 3nodding I hope he gets to see that he is cared for and that he is needed. This world needs a lot of people and he can be what the world needs to change. Simple things can turn into great ones. Everyone counts. I hope he isn't acting.. it would be heart breaking to know he just continues to hide things. Aww.. I hope you stay happy with him. smile What a friend she was.. it's hard to lose those kinds of friends because it's like they hold your world... they take things away. Things you want to keep. It hurts so much to know that someone changed without you knowing. Oh no.. a hangout with her.. how hard to get somewhere. How could she... now she leaves you waiting for answers. Let time pass a little. Give her some space and find a way to calm your heart. That was how I did it... it was hard. I felt like a loser. You speak very wise words there that make so much sense.... I find that I lack in the self confidence area too.... I'm very self cautious which I'm aware isn't exactly the same but at least I can relate some what to how he feels and have a better idea what way to help. That sleepover was somewhere in Feburary I think. The whole thing started November/December and I don't know if she really is worth fighting for anymore... She's different and I'm not sure I like the 'new' her, she seems slightly.....cocky-ish if that is the right word and the type of person she's turned into is the type I tend to stay away from. Thank you very much... <3 I love using these words to help out and reach out to those who need to be reached. I'm a thinker... these problems stimulate my mind the best. But its always hard to help. It's hard to be confident... no one can be there to motivate you or say who you really are. Someone told me that I've made an image of myself which is fake.... and lived it until today. She told me I should find a way to shatter that image I made and live the image that I really am. It makes a lot of sense... we live up to who we think we are. True.. I hope you find a way for him to know more about himself. He needs to know.. so much more. You may show him the world... Everything you see. Make him see. It's been quite a long time! I feel like I'm in your place. My friend has changed so much... but then one day I got the guts to talk to her and I did. That was last week.. and now.. she fought with one of my good friends. I comforted both but then she thought I was in my good friend's side so she's now ignoring me again. SO much for hoping... If she's a person you need to be away form then.. make your distance. Stay true to yourself more than being true to a friend who's demands ask for a big change in you. (that is bad of course..) Yeah... It's always nice to help people and it tends to clear your mind. Hopefully I'll see him more over the summer so he doesn't feel alone or sad. That's good advice, and I will follow it :3 I shall brighten up every dull moment with some stupid thing that I always tend to say randomly. Aw, that's too bad about your friends. Do you still talk to both of them or...? It was good that you tried to stay on both sides and not choose between them. It's a pity your friend didn't see that though. Never lose hope in something you hold dear, I'm not going to lose hope in my old friend but I'm not going to stop her from being who she wants to be. I shall be true to myself, but first I'm going to get a better idea of who I really am. I hope all ends well with your friend. Words of truth that is. Hopefully you do get to see him more often. He needs you. You know how to brighten his day. Thank you for taking it. You might not know but you can be his day. Even just a smile or sight of you.. I feel like you make him smile without you seeing it. smile I'm fine with my good friend.. but that other friend is the same person from my story.. she used to be my best friend. Reality hits me whenever she changes or turns her back once more on me. I feel emptier.. I've made her take my world. She cannot see.. she usually thinks she's right. Ahh.. very well then. Keep your hope but take time to think as well. Sometimes we throw away the hope we have without our consent. Good idea.. good goal. I hope you find yourself.. usually you find it out when you ask a true friend or someone who is understanding... Thank you. May it be. Aw, thanks. Never really saw myself as the cheery up one but I shall try. :3 I know how it feels to be hurt again and again. Yet again I have another friend who did that ((Yes I have many friends who were backstabbers)) I was younger then and we were three of the closests friends but then every school year one of the friends would cling to one of us and completely ignore the other. The two of us were sick of it so we decided we'd stick together and not take her s**t anymore. To this day the two of us are still friends and do not regret our choice at all. The other girl is spoilt and cruel. She will go with any guy doesn't matter what he's like. It may be mean to say but she doesn't have much standards and can bring herself so low. You really do speak wise words.... It seems to open up my spirtual side and make me at peace :3 Thanks for listening to my ranting and giving me some seriously good advice :3
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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 9:40 am
_LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ You speak very wise words there that make so much sense.... I find that I lack in the self confidence area too.... I'm very self cautious which I'm aware isn't exactly the same but at least I can relate some what to how he feels and have a better idea what way to help. That sleepover was somewhere in Feburary I think. The whole thing started November/December and I don't know if she really is worth fighting for anymore... She's different and I'm not sure I like the 'new' her, she seems slightly.....cocky-ish if that is the right word and the type of person she's turned into is the type I tend to stay away from. Thank you very much... <3 I love using these words to help out and reach out to those who need to be reached. I'm a thinker... these problems stimulate my mind the best. But its always hard to help. It's hard to be confident... no one can be there to motivate you or say who you really are. Someone told me that I've made an image of myself which is fake.... and lived it until today. She told me I should find a way to shatter that image I made and live the image that I really am. It makes a lot of sense... we live up to who we think we are. True.. I hope you find a way for him to know more about himself. He needs to know.. so much more. You may show him the world... Everything you see. Make him see. It's been quite a long time! I feel like I'm in your place. My friend has changed so much... but then one day I got the guts to talk to her and I did. That was last week.. and now.. she fought with one of my good friends. I comforted both but then she thought I was in my good friend's side so she's now ignoring me again. SO much for hoping... If she's a person you need to be away form then.. make your distance. Stay true to yourself more than being true to a friend who's demands ask for a big change in you. (that is bad of course..) Yeah... It's always nice to help people and it tends to clear your mind. Hopefully I'll see him more over the summer so he doesn't feel alone or sad. That's good advice, and I will follow it :3 I shall brighten up every dull moment with some stupid thing that I always tend to say randomly. Aw, that's too bad about your friends. Do you still talk to both of them or...? It was good that you tried to stay on both sides and not choose between them. It's a pity your friend didn't see that though. Never lose hope in something you hold dear, I'm not going to lose hope in my old friend but I'm not going to stop her from being who she wants to be. I shall be true to myself, but first I'm going to get a better idea of who I really am. I hope all ends well with your friend. Words of truth that is. Hopefully you do get to see him more often. He needs you. You know how to brighten his day. Thank you for taking it. You might not know but you can be his day. Even just a smile or sight of you.. I feel like you make him smile without you seeing it. smile I'm fine with my good friend.. but that other friend is the same person from my story.. she used to be my best friend. Reality hits me whenever she changes or turns her back once more on me. I feel emptier.. I've made her take my world. She cannot see.. she usually thinks she's right. Ahh.. very well then. Keep your hope but take time to think as well. Sometimes we throw away the hope we have without our consent. Good idea.. good goal. I hope you find yourself.. usually you find it out when you ask a true friend or someone who is understanding... Thank you. May it be. Aw, thanks. Never really saw myself as the cheery up one but I shall try. :3 I know how it feels to be hurt again and again. Yet again I have another friend who did that ((Yes I have many friends who were backstabbers)) I was younger then and we were three of the closests friends but then every school year one of the friends would cling to one of us and completely ignore the other. The two of us were sick of it so we decided we'd stick together and not take her s**t anymore. To this day the two of us are still friends and do not regret our choice at all. The other girl is spoilt and cruel. She will go with any guy doesn't matter what he's like. It may be mean to say but she doesn't have much standards and can bring herself so low. You really do speak wise words.... It seems to open up my spirtual side and make me at peace :3 Thanks for listening to my ranting and giving me some seriously good advice :3
You don't have to be the cheery one. You just need to care enough.. to do what is need to be done. ^_^
It's harsh to be hurt... No worries.. I've grown to know that friends are the kinds of people who treat you the worst due to us letting them do that. Sometimes we laugh it off when it actually hurts. My friend was like that. A fool she has become. Now she's made her own problems. Ahh.. leaving out one. That is quite sad because it shows that one friend can be a friend and a stranger at the same time. Then it was a good choice. Today is now and your old friend is the only one regretting or forgetting. What a sad person she's chosen to be.. I hope she later on finds out.. she shouldn't be a rock on the floor waiting to be picked up.
I love to.. today I am blessed to have someone who understood them. smile I hope whatever I say helps because.. I really want to help but I am limited to words. Do find peace.. the world is changing and some people are taking that peace away. No worries.. I'm happy to help and to listen.
(P.S. Sorry if I sound weird at times.. it's just the dept has made me comfortable enough to say more than any normal person would say...)
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 5:19 am
3nodding It looks like you two are really hitting it off. I'm sorry I can't be of help. My specialty is observe behavior/body language and then give advice. For me to do that I need to be there in person. >_> (Feels inadequate at times..)
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:33 am
silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ You speak very wise words there that make so much sense.... I find that I lack in the self confidence area too.... I'm very self cautious which I'm aware isn't exactly the same but at least I can relate some what to how he feels and have a better idea what way to help. That sleepover was somewhere in Feburary I think. The whole thing started November/December and I don't know if she really is worth fighting for anymore... She's different and I'm not sure I like the 'new' her, she seems slightly.....cocky-ish if that is the right word and the type of person she's turned into is the type I tend to stay away from. Thank you very much... <3 I love using these words to help out and reach out to those who need to be reached. I'm a thinker... these problems stimulate my mind the best. But its always hard to help. It's hard to be confident... no one can be there to motivate you or say who you really are. Someone told me that I've made an image of myself which is fake.... and lived it until today. She told me I should find a way to shatter that image I made and live the image that I really am. It makes a lot of sense... we live up to who we think we are. True.. I hope you find a way for him to know more about himself. He needs to know.. so much more. You may show him the world... Everything you see. Make him see. It's been quite a long time! I feel like I'm in your place. My friend has changed so much... but then one day I got the guts to talk to her and I did. That was last week.. and now.. she fought with one of my good friends. I comforted both but then she thought I was in my good friend's side so she's now ignoring me again. SO much for hoping... If she's a person you need to be away form then.. make your distance. Stay true to yourself more than being true to a friend who's demands ask for a big change in you. (that is bad of course..) Yeah... It's always nice to help people and it tends to clear your mind. Hopefully I'll see him more over the summer so he doesn't feel alone or sad. That's good advice, and I will follow it :3 I shall brighten up every dull moment with some stupid thing that I always tend to say randomly. Aw, that's too bad about your friends. Do you still talk to both of them or...? It was good that you tried to stay on both sides and not choose between them. It's a pity your friend didn't see that though. Never lose hope in something you hold dear, I'm not going to lose hope in my old friend but I'm not going to stop her from being who she wants to be. I shall be true to myself, but first I'm going to get a better idea of who I really am. I hope all ends well with your friend. Words of truth that is. Hopefully you do get to see him more often. He needs you. You know how to brighten his day. Thank you for taking it. You might not know but you can be his day. Even just a smile or sight of you.. I feel like you make him smile without you seeing it. smile I'm fine with my good friend.. but that other friend is the same person from my story.. she used to be my best friend. Reality hits me whenever she changes or turns her back once more on me. I feel emptier.. I've made her take my world. She cannot see.. she usually thinks she's right. Ahh.. very well then. Keep your hope but take time to think as well. Sometimes we throw away the hope we have without our consent. Good idea.. good goal. I hope you find yourself.. usually you find it out when you ask a true friend or someone who is understanding... Thank you. May it be. Aw, thanks. Never really saw myself as the cheery up one but I shall try. :3 I know how it feels to be hurt again and again. Yet again I have another friend who did that ((Yes I have many friends who were backstabbers)) I was younger then and we were three of the closests friends but then every school year one of the friends would cling to one of us and completely ignore the other. The two of us were sick of it so we decided we'd stick together and not take her s**t anymore. To this day the two of us are still friends and do not regret our choice at all. The other girl is spoilt and cruel. She will go with any guy doesn't matter what he's like. It may be mean to say but she doesn't have much standards and can bring herself so low. You really do speak wise words.... It seems to open up my spirtual side and make me at peace :3 Thanks for listening to my ranting and giving me some seriously good advice :3 You don't have to be the cheery one. You just need to care enough.. to do what is need to be done. ^_^ It's harsh to be hurt... No worries.. I've grown to know that friends are the kinds of people who treat you the worst due to us letting them do that. Sometimes we laugh it off when it actually hurts. My friend was like that. A fool she has become. Now she's made her own problems. Ahh.. leaving out one. That is quite sad because it shows that one friend can be a friend and a stranger at the same time. Then it was a good choice. Today is now and your old friend is the only one regretting or forgetting. What a sad person she's chosen to be.. I hope she later on finds out.. she shouldn't be a rock on the floor waiting to be picked up. I love to.. today I am blessed to have someone who understood them. smile I hope whatever I say helps because.. I really want to help but I am limited to words. Do find peace.. the world is changing and some people are taking that peace away. No worries.. I'm happy to help and to listen. (P.S. Sorry if I sound weird at times.. it's just the dept has made me comfortable enough to say more than any normal person would say...) Humans have a tendancy to 'wear' masks to hide their feelings. Our biggest weakness is not telling the ones we care about how we feel while we have the chance. Silly people we can be at times. Words alone can have major impact, at times it can have better outcomes but I suppose at the same time actions can can have bigger effect. ((You don't sound weird, it is completely understandable :3))
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:37 am
Sakura_Moonlight2421 3nodding It looks like you two are really hitting it off. I'm sorry I can't be of help. My specialty is observe behavior/body language and then give advice. For me to do that I need to be there in person. >_> (Feels inadequate at times..) It's all good, we just have a similar situation. That can be quiet a trate to possess :3 Very helpful in some situations.
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:20 pm
[~I was and still am, always picked on, one way or another. Im usually teh shy and quiet person, and i would always silently observe people. I'd speak if someone asked me to answer something or if they needed help, but that would be the only times i would talk. There was this friend of mine who was a bit popular in class. After talking to her from time to time, we became best friends. We would have fun and talk about things that we liked. She made me open up. One day, my best friend got mad at me, and she yelled at me. She heard from someone that i was just using her to look cool and i didnt care about anything else.
Not only that, but she got more pissed at me that i was talking bad things about her and her boyfriend, things that i wouldnt say at all. I think that was when i finally snapped and i yelled back at her because i was upset that she actually listened to those people and blamed me for something i had never said. After that, we never talked again. I wanted to apoligize, but i never got a chance to because when the school year ended, she moved to a different state. I got picked on again after that, being blamed that it was because of me that i drove her away. I became the person i was before again, the Quiet, shy person who was scared to open up to people and make friends.
I didnt have any friends for the longest time...and I most definately didnt have anyone i couldve called a "best friend" until the sophmore of my High school year. Even though i still love my best friends right now ((they forced me to open up...and they werent scared of me when i snapped. Furthermore, they know when im trying to hide my feelings o.O)), when one of my best friend moved because of family issues, the other one started dating. Im happy with my best friend who is dating, but im scared that a similar thing will happen, because my best friend is now spending more time with her boyfriend than she is with me. Sometimes i wished my other best friend didnt move yet. I really want my best friend to be happy with her boyfriend...but i dont want to go and tell her what i feel. I'd look all insecure and childish. I doubt she even knows that im hiding my emotions now -sigh-
There are a few people ive told this to so far, and they all told me i wasnt being childish or selfish, or insecure for that matter. They also told me that if it kept going, i would have to talk to her about it. If i do...i know I'd still feel that way, which is why i cant help but smile, hide my feelings and fake that im okay when she is with her boyfriend instead of telling her what i want to say. I dont want to hurt her feelings and i really dont want to lose another friend. It hurts me the most when we make plans, and she cancels it last minute. We were supposed to meet last week and i crammed all my homework because i have summer class and i wanted to see her, since it was forever since i last saw her, but she cancelled on me last minute because her boyfriend was visiting her since he lived in jersey and she doesnt see him alot.
Sometimes, its very hard for me to tell someone what i think, because im scared it would hurt the other person's feelings. Im more scared of the outcome if i tell my best friend, because i dont want to lose her. Not only that, but i dont want my other best friend to have to pick between us if we end up breaking up =/
Im sowwy if this sounds like jibberish XD~]
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 2:21 am
_LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ Yeah... It's always nice to help people and it tends to clear your mind. Hopefully I'll see him more over the summer so he doesn't feel alone or sad. That's good advice, and I will follow it :3 I shall brighten up every dull moment with some stupid thing that I always tend to say randomly. Aw, that's too bad about your friends. Do you still talk to both of them or...? It was good that you tried to stay on both sides and not choose between them. It's a pity your friend didn't see that though. Never lose hope in something you hold dear, I'm not going to lose hope in my old friend but I'm not going to stop her from being who she wants to be. I shall be true to myself, but first I'm going to get a better idea of who I really am. I hope all ends well with your friend. Words of truth that is. Hopefully you do get to see him more often. He needs you. You know how to brighten his day. Thank you for taking it. You might not know but you can be his day. Even just a smile or sight of you.. I feel like you make him smile without you seeing it. smile I'm fine with my good friend.. but that other friend is the same person from my story.. she used to be my best friend. Reality hits me whenever she changes or turns her back once more on me. I feel emptier.. I've made her take my world. She cannot see.. she usually thinks she's right. Ahh.. very well then. Keep your hope but take time to think as well. Sometimes we throw away the hope we have without our consent. Good idea.. good goal. I hope you find yourself.. usually you find it out when you ask a true friend or someone who is understanding... Thank you. May it be. Aw, thanks. Never really saw myself as the cheery up one but I shall try. :3 I know how it feels to be hurt again and again. Yet again I have another friend who did that ((Yes I have many friends who were backstabbers)) I was younger then and we were three of the closests friends but then every school year one of the friends would cling to one of us and completely ignore the other. The two of us were sick of it so we decided we'd stick together and not take her s**t anymore. To this day the two of us are still friends and do not regret our choice at all. The other girl is spoilt and cruel. She will go with any guy doesn't matter what he's like. It may be mean to say but she doesn't have much standards and can bring herself so low. You really do speak wise words.... It seems to open up my spirtual side and make me at peace :3 Thanks for listening to my ranting and giving me some seriously good advice :3 You don't have to be the cheery one. You just need to care enough.. to do what is need to be done. ^_^ It's harsh to be hurt... No worries.. I've grown to know that friends are the kinds of people who treat you the worst due to us letting them do that. Sometimes we laugh it off when it actually hurts. My friend was like that. A fool she has become. Now she's made her own problems. Ahh.. leaving out one. That is quite sad because it shows that one friend can be a friend and a stranger at the same time. Then it was a good choice. Today is now and your old friend is the only one regretting or forgetting. What a sad person she's chosen to be.. I hope she later on finds out.. she shouldn't be a rock on the floor waiting to be picked up. I love to.. today I am blessed to have someone who understood them. smile I hope whatever I say helps because.. I really want to help but I am limited to words. Do find peace.. the world is changing and some people are taking that peace away. No worries.. I'm happy to help and to listen. (P.S. Sorry if I sound weird at times.. it's just the dept has made me comfortable enough to say more than any normal person would say...) Humans have a tendancy to 'wear' masks to hide their feelings. Our biggest weakness is not telling the ones we care about how we feel while we have the chance. Silly people we can be at times. Words alone can have major impact, at times it can have better outcomes but I suppose at the same time actions can can have bigger effect. ((You don't sound weird, it is completely understandable :3))
Indeed.. the mask that becomes their face. How sad it really is.. That speaks words of wisdom and truth. Sometimes I don't get to understand why I do things.. I just know I try my best to be a good person but sometimes.. I rot because of the people of today. Silly we may be.. I know we can change that but for others.. time will consume them.
Well I have to say.. it is true. I've been happier with words but that also shows that I cannot do much if I can't live them. It's hard to do it but it's always good to try. Bigger affect can mean worst or better. Actions should be well thought.. we just need time to think things through.
Thank you very much for being understanding. It's hard to find people like you back here. So many misunderstandings out of the littlest things.
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 2:35 am
Sakura_Moonlight2421 3nodding It looks like you two are really hitting it off. I'm sorry I can't be of help. My specialty is observe behavior/body language and then give advice. For me to do that I need to be there in person. >_> (Feels inadequate at times..)
You can always join in any way. Even if its a piece of your opinion.. just feed it to us. ^_^ That will be of help.. since it comes from a different perspective. blaugh Aww.. no worries. With you knowing such things.. I'm sure you can help. You know what you see and we may need to learn how you do that. wink
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 3:17 am
Natsu_Yume216 [~I was and still am, always picked on, one way or another. Im usually teh shy and quiet person, and i would always silently observe people. I'd speak if someone asked me to answer something or if they needed help, but that would be the only times i would talk. There was this friend of mine who was a bit popular in class. After talking to her from time to time, we became best friends. We would have fun and talk about things that we liked. She made me open up. One day, my best friend got mad at me, and she yelled at me. She heard from someone that i was just using her to look cool and i didnt care about anything else.
Not only that, but she got more pissed at me that i was talking bad things about her and her boyfriend, things that i wouldnt say at all. I think that was when i finally snapped and i yelled back at her because i was upset that she actually listened to those people and blamed me for something i had never said. After that, we never talked again. I wanted to apoligize, but i never got a chance to because when the school year ended, she moved to a different state. I got picked on again after that, being blamed that it was because of me that i drove her away. I became the person i was before again, the Quiet, shy person who was scared to open up to people and make friends.
I didnt have any friends for the longest time...and I most definately didnt have anyone i couldve called a "best friend" until the sophmore of my High school year. Even though i still love my best friends right now ((they forced me to open up...and they werent scared of me when i snapped. Furthermore, they know when im trying to hide my feelings o.O)), when one of my best friend moved because of family issues, the other one started dating. Im happy with my best friend who is dating, but im scared that a similar thing will happen, because my best friend is now spending more time with her boyfriend than she is with me. Sometimes i wished my other best friend didnt move yet. I really want my best friend to be happy with her boyfriend...but i dont want to go and tell her what i feel. I'd look all insecure and childish. I doubt she even knows that im hiding my emotions now -sigh-
There are a few people ive told this to so far, and they all told me i wasnt being childish or selfish, or insecure for that matter. They also told me that if it kept going, i would have to talk to her about it. If i do...i know I'd still feel that way, which is why i cant help but smile, hide my feelings and fake that im okay when she is with her boyfriend instead of telling her what i want to say. I dont want to hurt her feelings and i really dont want to lose another friend. It hurts me the most when we make plans, and she cancels it last minute. We were supposed to meet last week and i crammed all my homework because i have summer class and i wanted to see her, since it was forever since i last saw her, but she cancelled on me last minute because her boyfriend was visiting her since he lived in jersey and she doesnt see him alot.
Sometimes, its very hard for me to tell someone what i think, because im scared it would hurt the other person's feelings. Im more scared of the outcome if i tell my best friend, because i dont want to lose her. Not only that, but i dont want my other best friend to have to pick between us if we end up breaking up =/
Im sowwy if this sounds like jibberish XD~]
Ahh.. I see that at a point your silence becomes your speech. Why do people pick on you? Hmm.. watching from a distance? It hurts to know you are in that state. Seeing the world isn't easy.. it makes you afraid of judgement. People have become selfish and insensitive.. but you aren't. Stay in your flow. You'll find so much more in life. smile A popular person.. was she a kind type or the pretty type? I'm just curious. What did she make you feel when you talked with her? Reality.. joy..? She got mad at you because she choose to listen to someone else?! I'm sorry you had to hear such from her. She got you wrong... you were just cracking from your shell and now it seems like it's engulfed you once more.
People have made gossip their joy and way of getting closer to someone.. I'm afraid you were both a victim of misunderstanding. Your friend must have given away her trust to easily.. then it went to someone who couldn't take care of it. Apologies are hard to do when all we think about is rejection.. did you think she'd reject you or hurt you? Aww... it isn't your fault.. they just want to have something against you for them to see your weakness. How do you go about everyday? Your silence is eating you up... there must be someone there who you could talk to and trust. You shouldn't keep everything bottled up inside because it tends to be too much at a point.
You just kept your heart quiet? sad Wasn't it painful each day to know that your memories played on the times when you were with that popular friend? I honestly want to help you. It's just my help will only be in words. I'm sorry... but I tell you. You're a kind of person that grows to be so much more than those people in your school. You may be silent today but your heart knows its language. Share it to someone.. who you think needs help. You will have more friends with you being you. Aww.. your friends have been "busy". But you yearn for that friendship.. but remember to not hold on to it too much because what happens is.. you loose them little by little through your grip. Ask your self.. What kind of friend are you.. Think about it. You are being very considerate in truth. But you need that friend to talk to. For now.. why don't you try asking your friend how she is. Just normal talks.. then slowly enter the new world she's in with her boyfriend. Don't be left out.. be their friends. If something goes wrong.. you are there for both of them. You aren't childish.. it is a need and not a want. She may not know your emotions.. but I'm sure she has time for you. You make the time.. and continue hoping. Your friend may just be getting something she wants.. but be there to tell her what she really needs.
Aww.. I see you care a lot but then you don't know how to go about things... you fear outcome and lost. Normal to be scared of that.. and the steps there are hard. But you have to know what you need to do... you have needs as well. You have to tell your feelings or your friend will keep thinking its okay. Don't let her think its okay when in truth it isn't for you. You won't lose her because of the truth that is inside you. Your other friend won't have to pick if she is a true friend to both of you. You gotta start saying what you need to say.
Nothing is gibberish to me. I understand it and if you think I don't then do tell me. smile
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 5:27 am
silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ Yeah... It's always nice to help people and it tends to clear your mind. Hopefully I'll see him more over the summer so he doesn't feel alone or sad. That's good advice, and I will follow it :3 I shall brighten up every dull moment with some stupid thing that I always tend to say randomly. Aw, that's too bad about your friends. Do you still talk to both of them or...? It was good that you tried to stay on both sides and not choose between them. It's a pity your friend didn't see that though. Never lose hope in something you hold dear, I'm not going to lose hope in my old friend but I'm not going to stop her from being who she wants to be. I shall be true to myself, but first I'm going to get a better idea of who I really am. I hope all ends well with your friend. Words of truth that is. Hopefully you do get to see him more often. He needs you. You know how to brighten his day. Thank you for taking it. You might not know but you can be his day. Even just a smile or sight of you.. I feel like you make him smile without you seeing it. smile I'm fine with my good friend.. but that other friend is the same person from my story.. she used to be my best friend. Reality hits me whenever she changes or turns her back once more on me. I feel emptier.. I've made her take my world. She cannot see.. she usually thinks she's right. Ahh.. very well then. Keep your hope but take time to think as well. Sometimes we throw away the hope we have without our consent. Good idea.. good goal. I hope you find yourself.. usually you find it out when you ask a true friend or someone who is understanding... Thank you. May it be. Aw, thanks. Never really saw myself as the cheery up one but I shall try. :3 I know how it feels to be hurt again and again. Yet again I have another friend who did that ((Yes I have many friends who were backstabbers)) I was younger then and we were three of the closests friends but then every school year one of the friends would cling to one of us and completely ignore the other. The two of us were sick of it so we decided we'd stick together and not take her s**t anymore. To this day the two of us are still friends and do not regret our choice at all. The other girl is spoilt and cruel. She will go with any guy doesn't matter what he's like. It may be mean to say but she doesn't have much standards and can bring herself so low. You really do speak wise words.... It seems to open up my spirtual side and make me at peace :3 Thanks for listening to my ranting and giving me some seriously good advice :3 You don't have to be the cheery one. You just need to care enough.. to do what is need to be done. ^_^ It's harsh to be hurt... No worries.. I've grown to know that friends are the kinds of people who treat you the worst due to us letting them do that. Sometimes we laugh it off when it actually hurts. My friend was like that. A fool she has become. Now she's made her own problems. Ahh.. leaving out one. That is quite sad because it shows that one friend can be a friend and a stranger at the same time. Then it was a good choice. Today is now and your old friend is the only one regretting or forgetting. What a sad person she's chosen to be.. I hope she later on finds out.. she shouldn't be a rock on the floor waiting to be picked up. I love to.. today I am blessed to have someone who understood them. smile I hope whatever I say helps because.. I really want to help but I am limited to words. Do find peace.. the world is changing and some people are taking that peace away. No worries.. I'm happy to help and to listen. (P.S. Sorry if I sound weird at times.. it's just the dept has made me comfortable enough to say more than any normal person would say...) Humans have a tendancy to 'wear' masks to hide their feelings. Our biggest weakness is not telling the ones we care about how we feel while we have the chance. Silly people we can be at times. Words alone can have major impact, at times it can have better outcomes but I suppose at the same time actions can can have bigger effect. ((You don't sound weird, it is completely understandable :3)) Indeed.. the mask that becomes their face. How sad it really is.. That speaks words of wisdom and truth. Sometimes I don't get to understand why I do things.. I just know I try my best to be a good person but sometimes.. I rot because of the people of today. Silly we may be.. I know we can change that but for others.. time will consume them. Well I have to say.. it is true. I've been happier with words but that also shows that I cannot do much if I can't live them. It's hard to do it but it's always good to try. Bigger affect can mean worst or better. Actions should be well thought.. we just need time to think things through. Thank you very much for being understanding. It's hard to find people like you back here. So many misunderstandings out of the littlest things. Yes.... It can be sad to see so many people hiding their true emotions to keep their loved ones from knowing the truth in case it causes the loved ones pain or sadness. Human behaviour is quiet strange... I'm begining to take an interest in it now.... There is just so many people hiding their true emotions and not being who they are out of fear of rejection. Hmm... I suppose you're right there... People have a tendancy to say something and not do anything about it.... Actions can have both good and bad consequences, depends on how well thought out and how you handle peoples reactions.
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 7:29 am
_LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ Aw, thanks. Never really saw myself as the cheery up one but I shall try. :3 I know how it feels to be hurt again and again. Yet again I have another friend who did that ((Yes I have many friends who were backstabbers)) I was younger then and we were three of the closests friends but then every school year one of the friends would cling to one of us and completely ignore the other. The two of us were sick of it so we decided we'd stick together and not take her s**t anymore. To this day the two of us are still friends and do not regret our choice at all. The other girl is spoilt and cruel. She will go with any guy doesn't matter what he's like. It may be mean to say but she doesn't have much standards and can bring herself so low. You really do speak wise words.... It seems to open up my spirtual side and make me at peace :3 Thanks for listening to my ranting and giving me some seriously good advice :3 You don't have to be the cheery one. You just need to care enough.. to do what is need to be done. ^_^ It's harsh to be hurt... No worries.. I've grown to know that friends are the kinds of people who treat you the worst due to us letting them do that. Sometimes we laugh it off when it actually hurts. My friend was like that. A fool she has become. Now she's made her own problems. Ahh.. leaving out one. That is quite sad because it shows that one friend can be a friend and a stranger at the same time. Then it was a good choice. Today is now and your old friend is the only one regretting or forgetting. What a sad person she's chosen to be.. I hope she later on finds out.. she shouldn't be a rock on the floor waiting to be picked up. I love to.. today I am blessed to have someone who understood them. smile I hope whatever I say helps because.. I really want to help but I am limited to words. Do find peace.. the world is changing and some people are taking that peace away. No worries.. I'm happy to help and to listen. (P.S. Sorry if I sound weird at times.. it's just the dept has made me comfortable enough to say more than any normal person would say...) Humans have a tendancy to 'wear' masks to hide their feelings. Our biggest weakness is not telling the ones we care about how we feel while we have the chance. Silly people we can be at times. Words alone can have major impact, at times it can have better outcomes but I suppose at the same time actions can can have bigger effect. ((You don't sound weird, it is completely understandable :3)) Indeed.. the mask that becomes their face. How sad it really is.. That speaks words of wisdom and truth. Sometimes I don't get to understand why I do things.. I just know I try my best to be a good person but sometimes.. I rot because of the people of today. Silly we may be.. I know we can change that but for others.. time will consume them. Well I have to say.. it is true. I've been happier with words but that also shows that I cannot do much if I can't live them. It's hard to do it but it's always good to try. Bigger affect can mean worst or better. Actions should be well thought.. we just need time to think things through. Thank you very much for being understanding. It's hard to find people like you back here. So many misunderstandings out of the littlest things. Yes.... It can be sad to see so many people hiding their true emotions to keep their loved ones from knowing the truth in case it causes the loved ones pain or sadness. Human behaviour is quiet strange... I'm begining to take an interest in it now.... There is just so many people hiding their true emotions and not being who they are out of fear of rejection. Hmm... I suppose you're right there... People have a tendancy to say something and not do anything about it.... Actions can have both good and bad consequences, depends on how well thought out and how you handle peoples reactions.
It's saddening than we see how a weakness can pull down a human mentally. It's a kind of weight that cannot be measured. Hmm.. it is quite interesting.. but it is still bothersome to know that there is no certain cure... What kind of fear prevents so much.. which is this fear so great at pulling a human's response. There is so much more to know.. people have changed.. and are still... They've become complicated..
It's worthless words that go to waste.. That is true.. it's just part of human nature to falter.. and to make mistakes. Further damage happens and BOOM people are sad about things all over again.
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:13 am
silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ Aw, thanks. Never really saw myself as the cheery up one but I shall try. :3 I know how it feels to be hurt again and again. Yet again I have another friend who did that ((Yes I have many friends who were backstabbers)) I was younger then and we were three of the closests friends but then every school year one of the friends would cling to one of us and completely ignore the other. The two of us were sick of it so we decided we'd stick together and not take her s**t anymore. To this day the two of us are still friends and do not regret our choice at all. The other girl is spoilt and cruel. She will go with any guy doesn't matter what he's like. It may be mean to say but she doesn't have much standards and can bring herself so low. You really do speak wise words.... It seems to open up my spirtual side and make me at peace :3 Thanks for listening to my ranting and giving me some seriously good advice :3 You don't have to be the cheery one. You just need to care enough.. to do what is need to be done. ^_^ It's harsh to be hurt... No worries.. I've grown to know that friends are the kinds of people who treat you the worst due to us letting them do that. Sometimes we laugh it off when it actually hurts. My friend was like that. A fool she has become. Now she's made her own problems. Ahh.. leaving out one. That is quite sad because it shows that one friend can be a friend and a stranger at the same time. Then it was a good choice. Today is now and your old friend is the only one regretting or forgetting. What a sad person she's chosen to be.. I hope she later on finds out.. she shouldn't be a rock on the floor waiting to be picked up. I love to.. today I am blessed to have someone who understood them. smile I hope whatever I say helps because.. I really want to help but I am limited to words. Do find peace.. the world is changing and some people are taking that peace away. No worries.. I'm happy to help and to listen. (P.S. Sorry if I sound weird at times.. it's just the dept has made me comfortable enough to say more than any normal person would say...) Humans have a tendancy to 'wear' masks to hide their feelings. Our biggest weakness is not telling the ones we care about how we feel while we have the chance. Silly people we can be at times. Words alone can have major impact, at times it can have better outcomes but I suppose at the same time actions can can have bigger effect. ((You don't sound weird, it is completely understandable :3)) Indeed.. the mask that becomes their face. How sad it really is.. That speaks words of wisdom and truth. Sometimes I don't get to understand why I do things.. I just know I try my best to be a good person but sometimes.. I rot because of the people of today. Silly we may be.. I know we can change that but for others.. time will consume them. Well I have to say.. it is true. I've been happier with words but that also shows that I cannot do much if I can't live them. It's hard to do it but it's always good to try. Bigger affect can mean worst or better. Actions should be well thought.. we just need time to think things through. Thank you very much for being understanding. It's hard to find people like you back here. So many misunderstandings out of the littlest things. Yes.... It can be sad to see so many people hiding their true emotions to keep their loved ones from knowing the truth in case it causes the loved ones pain or sadness. Human behaviour is quiet strange... I'm begining to take an interest in it now.... There is just so many people hiding their true emotions and not being who they are out of fear of rejection. Hmm... I suppose you're right there... People have a tendancy to say something and not do anything about it.... Actions can have both good and bad consequences, depends on how well thought out and how you handle peoples reactions. It's saddening than we see how a weakness can pull down a human mentally. It's a kind of weight that cannot be measured. Hmm.. it is quite interesting.. but it is still bothersome to know that there is no certain cure... What kind of fear prevents so much.. which is this fear so great at pulling a human's response. There is so much more to know.. people have changed.. and are still... They've become complicated.. It's worthless words that go to waste.. That is true.. it's just part of human nature to falter.. and to make mistakes. Further damage happens and BOOM people are sad about things all over again. It is very sad... To see someone be pulled apart over an emotion that can often be overthought and not needed. I suppose the only type of cure/recovery is talking about it.. But even with that it can still be there, feeding on them until they just can't take it anymore which is extremely sad... Knowing that someone who could have such a great life is crushed by emotions so much that they don't get to live that long life. Exactly, if words have enough meaning and strength they can prevail any type of action... They can make the mind think about what is truely important and realise what the heart really wants. Words often lead to actions, be it good or bad depends.
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 3:07 am
_LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ Humans have a tendancy to 'wear' masks to hide their feelings. Our biggest weakness is not telling the ones we care about how we feel while we have the chance. Silly people we can be at times. Words alone can have major impact, at times it can have better outcomes but I suppose at the same time actions can can have bigger effect. ((You don't sound weird, it is completely understandable :3)) Indeed.. the mask that becomes their face. How sad it really is.. That speaks words of wisdom and truth. Sometimes I don't get to understand why I do things.. I just know I try my best to be a good person but sometimes.. I rot because of the people of today. Silly we may be.. I know we can change that but for others.. time will consume them. Well I have to say.. it is true. I've been happier with words but that also shows that I cannot do much if I can't live them. It's hard to do it but it's always good to try. Bigger affect can mean worst or better. Actions should be well thought.. we just need time to think things through. Thank you very much for being understanding. It's hard to find people like you back here. So many misunderstandings out of the littlest things. Yes.... It can be sad to see so many people hiding their true emotions to keep their loved ones from knowing the truth in case it causes the loved ones pain or sadness. Human behaviour is quiet strange... I'm begining to take an interest in it now.... There is just so many people hiding their true emotions and not being who they are out of fear of rejection. Hmm... I suppose you're right there... People have a tendancy to say something and not do anything about it.... Actions can have both good and bad consequences, depends on how well thought out and how you handle peoples reactions. It's saddening than we see how a weakness can pull down a human mentally. It's a kind of weight that cannot be measured. Hmm.. it is quite interesting.. but it is still bothersome to know that there is no certain cure... What kind of fear prevents so much.. which is this fear so great at pulling a human's response. There is so much more to know.. people have changed.. and are still... They've become complicated.. It's worthless words that go to waste.. That is true.. it's just part of human nature to falter.. and to make mistakes. Further damage happens and BOOM people are sad about things all over again. It is very sad... To see someone be pulled apart over an emotion that can often be overthought and not needed. I suppose the only type of cure/recovery is talking about it.. But even with that it can still be there, feeding on them until they just can't take it anymore which is extremely sad... Knowing that someone who could have such a great life is crushed by emotions so much that they don't get to live that long life. Exactly, if words have enough meaning and strength they can prevail any type of action... They can make the mind think about what is truely important and realise what the heart really wants. Words often lead to actions, be it good or bad depends.
It is horrifying also when you try to help and end up making things worst. sad Things don't work as you think it would... people take their emotions more than anything else. They react so differently each time... but I still find hope that they can be happy. It might just be someone else's job to do that. The cure is all in their minds.. they just put it deeper away from their reach..
Wise words you have. blaugh Every action comes from every thought. I believe so too... I just hope there were more people who cared for others. It's like you find selfish people around... people who trample on others to get higher. There will be change.. but I hope its not too late.
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Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 8:32 pm
silver_crystal18 Natsu_Yume216 [~I was and still am, always picked on, one way or another. Im usually teh shy and quiet person, and i would always silently observe people. I'd speak if someone asked me to answer something or if they needed help, but that would be the only times i would talk. There was this friend of mine who was a bit popular in class. After talking to her from time to time, we became best friends. We would have fun and talk about things that we liked. She made me open up. One day, my best friend got mad at me, and she yelled at me. She heard from someone that i was just using her to look cool and i didnt care about anything else.
Not only that, but she got more pissed at me that i was talking bad things about her and her boyfriend, things that i wouldnt say at all. I think that was when i finally snapped and i yelled back at her because i was upset that she actually listened to those people and blamed me for something i had never said. After that, we never talked again. I wanted to apoligize, but i never got a chance to because when the school year ended, she moved to a different state. I got picked on again after that, being blamed that it was because of me that i drove her away. I became the person i was before again, the Quiet, shy person who was scared to open up to people and make friends.
I didnt have any friends for the longest time...and I most definately didnt have anyone i couldve called a "best friend" until the sophmore of my High school year. Even though i still love my best friends right now ((they forced me to open up...and they werent scared of me when i snapped. Furthermore, they know when im trying to hide my feelings o.O)), when one of my best friend moved because of family issues, the other one started dating. Im happy with my best friend who is dating, but im scared that a similar thing will happen, because my best friend is now spending more time with her boyfriend than she is with me. Sometimes i wished my other best friend didnt move yet. I really want my best friend to be happy with her boyfriend...but i dont want to go and tell her what i feel. I'd look all insecure and childish. I doubt she even knows that im hiding my emotions now -sigh-
There are a few people ive told this to so far, and they all told me i wasnt being childish or selfish, or insecure for that matter. They also told me that if it kept going, i would have to talk to her about it. If i do...i know I'd still feel that way, which is why i cant help but smile, hide my feelings and fake that im okay when she is with her boyfriend instead of telling her what i want to say. I dont want to hurt her feelings and i really dont want to lose another friend. It hurts me the most when we make plans, and she cancels it last minute. We were supposed to meet last week and i crammed all my homework because i have summer class and i wanted to see her, since it was forever since i last saw her, but she cancelled on me last minute because her boyfriend was visiting her since he lived in jersey and she doesnt see him alot.
Sometimes, its very hard for me to tell someone what i think, because im scared it would hurt the other person's feelings. Im more scared of the outcome if i tell my best friend, because i dont want to lose her. Not only that, but i dont want my other best friend to have to pick between us if we end up breaking up =/
Im sowwy if this sounds like jibberish XD~] Ahh.. I see that at a point your silence becomes your speech. Why do people pick on you? Hmm.. watching from a distance? It hurts to know you are in that state. Seeing the world isn't easy.. it makes you afraid of judgement. People have become selfish and insensitive.. but you aren't. Stay in your flow. You'll find so much more in life. smile A popular person.. was she a kind type or the pretty type? I'm just curious. What did she make you feel when you talked with her? Reality.. joy..? She got mad at you because she choose to listen to someone else?! I'm sorry you had to hear such from her. She got you wrong... you were just cracking from your shell and now it seems like it's engulfed you once more. People have made gossip their joy and way of getting closer to someone.. I'm afraid you were both a victim of misunderstanding. Your friend must have given away her trust to easily.. then it went to someone who couldn't take care of it. Apologies are hard to do when all we think about is rejection.. did you think she'd reject you or hurt you? Aww... it isn't your fault.. they just want to have something against you for them to see your weakness. How do you go about everyday? Your silence is eating you up... there must be someone there who you could talk to and trust. You shouldn't keep everything bottled up inside because it tends to be too much at a point. You just kept your heart quiet? sad Wasn't it painful each day to know that your memories played on the times when you were with that popular friend? I honestly want to help you. It's just my help will only be in words. I'm sorry... but I tell you. You're a kind of person that grows to be so much more than those people in your school. You may be silent today but your heart knows its language. Share it to someone.. who you think needs help. You will have more friends with you being you. Aww.. your friends have been "busy". But you yearn for that friendship.. but remember to not hold on to it too much because what happens is.. you loose them little by little through your grip. Ask your self.. What kind of friend are you.. Think about it. You are being very considerate in truth. But you need that friend to talk to. For now.. why don't you try asking your friend how she is. Just normal talks.. then slowly enter the new world she's in with her boyfriend. Don't be left out.. be their friends. If something goes wrong.. you are there for both of them. You aren't childish.. it is a need and not a want. She may not know your emotions.. but I'm sure she has time for you. You make the time.. and continue hoping. Your friend may just be getting something she wants.. but be there to tell her what she really needs. Aww.. I see you care a lot but then you don't know how to go about things... you fear outcome and lost. Normal to be scared of that.. and the steps there are hard. But you have to know what you need to do... you have needs as well. You have to tell your feelings or your friend will keep thinking its okay. Don't let her think its okay when in truth it isn't for you. You won't lose her because of the truth that is inside you. Your other friend won't have to pick if she is a true friend to both of you. You gotta start saying what you need to say. Nothing is gibberish to me. I understand it and if you think I don't then do tell me. smile
Anyway, i thank you for your response, and its okay. Typing the response is better than nothing, less than talking to people about this. Well, im not saying its not better to actually talk to people about this, but if typing this is the only way to reply, then its fine, as long as someone listens to the other's problem. And i really thank you for taking your time to help me. I really appreciate it.
Back then, when i was little, i didnt really know much English, even though i was born in the US. It went from that, to saying how weak i was that i couldnt stand up for myself when i get teased. It then jumped to people making fun of my name, which is currently why i really do hate my name. Well, maybe not hate, but i dont like my name. It gets annoying because throughout my life so far, not ONE year have i had the freedom of my name not being teased. I tend to not care anymore, but it still annoys me. People tell me that i should be happy with the name given to me by my parents, and not to listen to others who tease me, but after awhile, you get tired of hearing the same things over and over again and its just to the point that you just want things to stop, even though the said people who are teasing you think that it is fun and they dont stop at all ((some people anyway)).
Yup. She was pretty, i adored her curly hair. But, she wasnt like those stuck up girls who think they knew everything and was at the center of attention, and who tried to be a teacher's pet. She was really kind and was more of the "independent" type, and "went with the flow", not caring at all if she was to become cool or being a teacher's pet. Stuck up people who think they are cool dont bother with people who look "weak" or "quiet" ((or so ive noticed anyway. I could be wrong XD)) They believe that if they are cool and are liked by others, they dont need to waste their time on "quiet weak" people. Her, on the other hand, went up to me, not caring once again, that i was the "quiet" and "weak" person of the class and talked to me as if i was a regular person. I think it was the recognition and acceptance of someone who got me to feel a bit better about myself. Of course, all the things she blamed me with, i got really upset because i thought i was really able to trust her. She was one of my best friends after all. I thought she "knew" the real me, enough for me to get comfortable with things. Learning it the hard way, i was badly mistakened. Its been more than awhile now. I feel bad that i dont remember her name or how she looks like, and in a way, i have a sense of just wanting to apoligize to her. ((i get really guilty xD))
I think the most scariest thing for me is making friends, because its really hard to find someone who can be trusted. Most of the people i react with are either known as "aquaintances" or "classmates". My other scariest thing is the fact that if someone gets too close to me, they see a side of me that no one ever saw. I tend to force myself to be happy and helpful when i meet other people, just for the sake of them not hating me. I really am a shy and nervous girl, i cant act that, but the thought of forcing myself to be happy when im not kinda well, hurts me a bit, even though im just used to doing that. People are scared of how other sees them if they know who they really are. For me, I stay quiet. Even though if i know something is wrong, or even if i want to speak my mind about something, i keep quiet. I dont like making others unhappy because of me, so i tend to ususally leave it. Sometimes i dont even know myself. Im a very emotional pessimistic person. ((Right now, only my 2 best friends know that XD))
Half the times, when something is wrong, i tend to just smile and act like nothing is wrong. I do that because i dont want to make the people around me feel guilty. Sometimes when i want to say something, or when i feel left out, even if i want to speak up, i feel insecure, selfish and childish to be thinking these things, so i keep quiet. Its become a habit that im actually fine with keeping quiet. i usually daydream, or write, so that's usually where i take my anger out. I dont know. Usually with things like this, i sound like im talking jibberish or im rambling, because ive never really shared these things with other people before. Im more of the self-reserved kind of person -sweatdrops-
Well, to update you, my best friend ((the one with the boyfriend now)) agreed that we will be hanging out this Friday. I feel that i shouldnt tell her yet. When it comes to speaking my mind, even though i get upset or angry with the scenerio, i really cant say what is on my mind. I get really scared, because i've never really had to do something like this, so its kinda new to me.
I went from being self-reserved, to being somewhat open, and then back to being self-reserved again. Even though my two best friends now made me open up again, i still feel a bit self-reserved. I really do trust them alot, but its just that i feel a bit worried that the same thing might happen again. ((though i know i am repeating some stuffies.I sowwy about that. I tend to dont remember what i said or didnt say xD I has short term memory for certain things XD)).
When i am with my family ((and relatives)) on special occassions and we party, or if i am hanging out with my 2 best friends and the other friends that they invite ((whether it is, again, a party or just a hang out)), i tend to feel left out. I feel as if i dont belong anywhere at all. Of course, to not make my friends or family members feel bad, i pretend that im having fun. I guess its because ive been alone ((in a sense)) practically almost forever that ive gotten used to how it feels like to be alone and not fit anywhere. Sometimes, while others are having fun, i would observe them quietly. Its a bad habit, i admit, but ive gotten so used to it that it just feels natural for me to act like that.
Im just all over the place...and truthfully, i hate myself the most. ((Though im not suicidal or anything like that xD Im just a bit Emo, but not to the extreme XD ))
Im not sure if i said this, but this is really my first time sharing something personal about myself to other people...so i feel a bit uncomfortable XD I've never really shared my "childhood" with others on the internet either ((even though that's not all my childhood, just more of the reasons to why i am the way i am)) and the fact that i am pretending to be something im not >.< I'll get over it, but its just a bit weird and all. redface ~]
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 7:35 am
silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ silver_crystal18 _LiL_ImmortaL_AngeL_ Humans have a tendancy to 'wear' masks to hide their feelings. Our biggest weakness is not telling the ones we care about how we feel while we have the chance. Silly people we can be at times. Words alone can have major impact, at times it can have better outcomes but I suppose at the same time actions can can have bigger effect. ((You don't sound weird, it is completely understandable :3)) Indeed.. the mask that becomes their face. How sad it really is.. That speaks words of wisdom and truth. Sometimes I don't get to understand why I do things.. I just know I try my best to be a good person but sometimes.. I rot because of the people of today. Silly we may be.. I know we can change that but for others.. time will consume them. Well I have to say.. it is true. I've been happier with words but that also shows that I cannot do much if I can't live them. It's hard to do it but it's always good to try. Bigger affect can mean worst or better. Actions should be well thought.. we just need time to think things through. Thank you very much for being understanding. It's hard to find people like you back here. So many misunderstandings out of the littlest things. Yes.... It can be sad to see so many people hiding their true emotions to keep their loved ones from knowing the truth in case it causes the loved ones pain or sadness. Human behaviour is quiet strange... I'm begining to take an interest in it now.... There is just so many people hiding their true emotions and not being who they are out of fear of rejection. Hmm... I suppose you're right there... People have a tendancy to say something and not do anything about it.... Actions can have both good and bad consequences, depends on how well thought out and how you handle peoples reactions. It's saddening than we see how a weakness can pull down a human mentally. It's a kind of weight that cannot be measured. Hmm.. it is quite interesting.. but it is still bothersome to know that there is no certain cure... What kind of fear prevents so much.. which is this fear so great at pulling a human's response. There is so much more to know.. people have changed.. and are still... They've become complicated.. It's worthless words that go to waste.. That is true.. it's just part of human nature to falter.. and to make mistakes. Further damage happens and BOOM people are sad about things all over again. It is very sad... To see someone be pulled apart over an emotion that can often be overthought and not needed. I suppose the only type of cure/recovery is talking about it.. But even with that it can still be there, feeding on them until they just can't take it anymore which is extremely sad... Knowing that someone who could have such a great life is crushed by emotions so much that they don't get to live that long life. Exactly, if words have enough meaning and strength they can prevail any type of action... They can make the mind think about what is truely important and realise what the heart really wants. Words often lead to actions, be it good or bad depends. It is horrifying also when you try to help and end up making things worst. sad Things don't work as you think it would... people take their emotions more than anything else. They react so differently each time... but I still find hope that they can be happy. It might just be someone else's job to do that. The cure is all in their minds.. they just put it deeper away from their reach.. Wise words you have. blaugh Every action comes from every thought. I believe so too... I just hope there were more people who cared for others. It's like you find selfish people around... people who trample on others to get higher. There will be change.. but I hope its not too late. It is.... You can think it through so many times but it doesn't mean the other person will think the same way you do.... They can take it the wrong way which can leave you and them alone in the dark... They may not be happy today, or tomorrow but one day they will be. It's not about the amount of years they lived but how much they lived in those years.
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