Welcome to Gaia! ::

Make it.
Teach it.
Raise it.
Nurture it.
Feed it.
Make it breathe.
Make it live.
Make it move.
Make it speak.
Make it obey.
Crush it.
Break it.
Crack it.
Cut ******** it.

I'm dying to live.
I'm dying to die.
I'm dying to breathe.
I'm dying to lie.

Here I go,
die die die die.
Break the shackles,
free the beast.

Cut the corners,
make all haste,
break the ********. The. System.

Life isn't a necessity.
It hinders our prosperity.
Life chokes out our potential.
Makes us weak.

Break the bonds and free the beast.
I am here, I've broken through.
I am more than equal to any of you.
Wait and bleed, there's work to do.

I've felt the hate rise up in me,
boiling, curdling, it makes me bleed.
You haven't learned a thing,
I haven't changed a thing.
I'm over this, I'm over you.
You put up walls, I broke straight through.
I screamed, I howled, you threw up your hands.
You grunted, you plead, I ignored commands.
Showered in blood, I stand alone.
You were destroyed, your body gone.
I screamed in triumph, I howled in rage.
I'll never go back to that cage.

Meh, good question. Ever since that lovely conversation over the phone, I've been mulling s**t over in my mind, and have been rather pissed about a lot of things. *Points at the previous* Evidence much? xd

I thought I was given a choice on leaving? I suppose not. *Shrugs* And here I was, getting on to post s**t here, too, only to find in my inbox, a quaint little message, telling me I'm demoted and given the boot asap. Man, I tell you, s**t changes. It's a world of change, and I guess I just need to stop promising forever, because it's impossible sometimes. I look back on s**t now, and it's almost sad, the way I threw myself into things. How decisions were made, and paths were taken. I suppose it's time I just stop taking life for a ride and go against the grain. It's time I stand up and make my voice differ from the crowd's. I'm done being another faceless drone of society, and I'm done with being one of the billions of generic revolutionists out there. I'm done being petty and spiteful and I'm done holding grudges. It's time I stopped bitching and started making a difference. First step is repenting my past. There are those here, and they know who they are, that I have wronged. I've done things that are unforgivable, even between the best and closest of friends, and I'm sorry for what I did. I own up to what happened, and I'm claiming sole responsibility for it. There were many things, many paths I could have taken, that would have steered in another direction, but I chose the path of a sombre and gravely end for the friendships that had seemed to grow so well. There are those who regret, and those who forget. I am neither. I know what I did was wrong, and it destroyed, but if not for my actions, then we wouldn't be the people we are today. Yes, all the major things would still be there, but the minor variants, the memories, would not exist. I'd like to quote a song, most of you know it, I'm sure. It's kinda cheesy, but it fits the purposes of this... confession. 'Scars heal, glory fades, and all we're left with are the memories made. Pain hurts, but only for a minute. Life's short, so go on and live it...' This is my new credo, the motto which I live by. Nothing is set in stone, and one must always be ready for change. Even if that change is something you aren't necessarily willing to agree to. There's little one person can do to steer the course of the universe, but there is much that one person can set in motion to steer the course. I've learned this. No one person or being is all important, nor are they the center of all that is or will be. No one, nothing, knows everything, despite what you are told. Hell, nothing is known for sure. Knowledge is relative to the times. Today, you know that two and two make four, but tomorrow, you may know that two and two make six. You may know, with all of what you believe to be your heart, that you love somebody today, then tomorrow you know beyond the shadow of a doubt of your mind that you hate them. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, and I, for one, and not going to be caught unprepared or off guard again. I'll do what I can, I'll strive to do more than even that, I'll live, I'll love, and I'll move on, because what happens today could be forgotten tomorrow. Hold on to your life. Cherish it. Because you could lose it tomorrow.

Two ways, one lane.
Live life on a level plain.
Contradiction.
Complication.
Become the nightmare,
the screams, everywhere.
Bloody hand serenade,
blind man with a hand grenade.
Destruction beyond control.
Get out, get out, go go go.
Come on, come on, we've s**t to do.
Move it or they'll get to you.
They'll get inside, under your skin,
rip you apart, they start within.
They warp your mind, they cut your brain.
They laugh and twist as you go insane.
They feed your fear, they watch it grow,
welcome to Insanity Show.

Circus, Fair, a freak parade.
This is where the cash is made.
One out, one in, and another back again.
Left foot, right foot, onward men.
There's a place down in your chest,
where your icy heart would rest.
Now there's nothing but an empty hole.
Now there's nothing but an empty hole.

Let Me Rest

Just because you whisper in a dead man's ear,
that doesn't make him real.
If I'm nothing more than dead to you,
then how does it make you feel
when I beg you stay away...
and let me rest in peace.

I can lay my body down,
but I can't find my forever peace.
I can feel myself begin to drown,
if my heart could beat,
it would break my chest,
so let me be...
and let me rest in peace.

I'll take my heart and bury it
in a hole six foot deep.
Just stay away...
and let me rest in peace.

I see your face
when I lie down to rest,
betrayed by the demon
buried within my chest...
just let me rest in peace.

The fire you've built
inside of me,
it keeps me warm
it makes me free.
I beg you please...
let me rest in peace.





The Fire

I touch the fire and it freezes me.
I look into it, and it's black.
Why can't I feel?
My skin should crack and peel.
I want my innocence back.

The ice inside my veins
cools me to the bone.
I've nowhere else to go...
I sit and try to find where I went wrong.
My pain, they'll never know...

This torch that I carry scorches me.
I feel so naked and ashamed...
I look around, all the faces that I've blamed...
they turn their backs on me now...

As I am drawn to the fire,
perhaps I will never learn.
I am marked, a thief, a liar...
No matter how many lessons I sit through,
I'll walk through the fire,
and let them... burn.

First I'll kill her, then I'll save her.
No, I'll save her, then I'll kill her.
It's all just too much to bear...



Amen.