|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 12:43 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 12:44 pm
Gabriel: Aescwyn, prepare yourself for a shock: I'm the Rocketeer. Aescwyn: The Rocke-who? Gabriel: *frustrated* Oh for crying out loud, haven't you read the papers? Aescwyn: *beat* No, I've been working all day. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B.M.:*donning the Rocketeer helmet* How do I look? Gabriel: Like a hood ornament.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*sends a statue up with the rocket back and it crashes down on fire* Gabriel: *looking worried about keeping the rocket pack* We're gonna need one heck of a lawyer B.M.: *seeing the destroyed statues' head, worriedly* I think we're gonna need a helmet.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Elphaba_Rogan_Thropp Crew
|
Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:47 pm
Nana: *stretching and yawning coming out of her long sleep* What's for breakfast? *looks at Glace* I could go for just skipping to desert.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 9:08 pm
Gabriel:In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... coulda... shoulda. ---------------------------------------------------------------- *Gabriel runs through the parking lot with two zombies chasing him, while the words CARDIO flash and a bell rings*
---------------------------------------------------------------- B.M.: It's time to nut up or shut up. *clicks pruning shears* ------------------------------------------------------------ B.M.:[turning to Gabriel, Aescwyb and Elphie after a zombie kill] What do you think? "Zombie Kill of the Week"? Gabriel: Not quite. Zombie Killer of the week actually goes to Crystal Chevrose. *CC is seen running to the door and rings a bell with a sly grin on her face. She ducks inside as a zombified Scarlet Knight comes around the corner and gets turned to hamburger by a falling piano.* Gabriel: Poor flat b*****d. ------------------------------------------------------------- B.M.: They're in the back, aren't they? Elphie: *pops up holding shotgun* Just me. Gabriel: I'm really sorry. She was a good crouching tiger... B.M.: You got taken hostage by a 12 year old? Gabriel: Well, girls mature faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age. Elphie: Twelve's the new twenty. Gun please. B.M.: Like you would ever use that thing *Elphie shoots in the air through the sunroof* B.M.: Don't kill me with my own gun. *Aescwyn pops out from behind a hay bale with a shotgun and comes to the door* Aescwyn:*sarcastically* Oh, bummer.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 8:39 pm
B.M: You WILL go out there. Fidens: I won't and nothing you say will make me. B.M: The show must go on. Fidens: ...Damn you. ------ B.M: Where's the happy ending, Fidens? "Never give up, never surrender"? ----- Fidens: Princess Fanta, the mist of this strange realm is filing my head with such thougts... Fanta: [pushing him away] It was cute when I didn't know you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Xeranus has pinned Vivian] Xer: First you betray me, and now you laugh? ----- Glace: There's so little time left. Aescwyn: Whatever time we have, we must use well. Fidens: Are we really ready to die here? Gabe: If we die, we will die in battle. Together. ----- Aescwyn: Of all the horrors darkness holds; to die alone, that is my worst fear. ----- Glace: Mother! You're alive! Valtameri: Too bad *you*... will DIE!
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 02, 2010 10:44 pm
Knight: I picked the wrong time to quit sniffing glue. *sniffs glue and passes out.*
-------------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: *after clobbering Ruby with ceramic toilet tank lid when she became a zombie* You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.
-------------------------------------------------------------
*Gabriel being chased by King Alton zombie spots B.M. with a bat* Gabriel: DON'T SWING! DON'T SWING! *dives for the floor in a homerun slide* NOW SWING! *B.M. clobbers King Alton zombie.*
-------------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: *drinking wine with Aescwyn* 1997. Was that a good year? Aescwyn: Yeah! 1997 was a great year! I saw my first R-rated movie... Anaconda. Got my first tattoo, a porpoise. Fake. Had my first kiss... King Alton. Gabriel: Did you guys... *gestures with fingers* ...use tongue? Aescwyn: *laughs* Maybe. Why, are you jealous of King Alton? Gabriel: Yes. Actually, I think I'm jealous of your whole 1997. Let me see... I think... 1997 I had my first orthodontist appointment... b****d gave me headgear... I got my first B... *Aescwyn laughs* Gabriel: ...almost as scary as Anaconda... went to my first dance. Ruby, so it was ladies' choice... *pauses* Aescwyn: And nobody picked you? Gabriel: Well, it was ladies' choice. Aescwyn: *pauses in disbelief* ... No! Those b***hes! No, I will not stand for this. *stands, offers Gabriel her hand* On behalf of all the eighth grade girls, I would like to dance with you. *Gabriel looks at her, takes another swig of wine* Aescwyn: Don't worry. Alton's old news.
-------------------------------------------------------------
CC: He's been struck by lightning... how many times has it been now, Knight? Knight: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-six... Xeranus: Six times? Knight: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-six-sixty-sixty-six times. In-n-n-n-n-n-n-In-n-n-n-n-n-n-In-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n the head! *later struck in the head again with lightning*
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 6:49 pm
Gabriel:There's something very important I forgot to tell you. Xeranus: What? Gabriel: Don't cross the streams. Xeranus: Why? Gabriel: It would be bad. Xeranus: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"? Gabriel: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. B.M.: Total protonic reversal. Xeranus: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Gabe. ----------------------------------------------------------- Glace: Are you the Keymaster? Nana: Not that I know of. *She slams the door in her face. Nana knocks again* Glace: Are you the Keymaster? Nana: Yes. Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.
------------------------------------------------------------
*running test on Aros who is now the keymaster* Gabriel: Aros, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for? Aros: Ruby the Traveler. Shee will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for her: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: Ruby the Rubian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of Heaven, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension. Glace: *Sarcastically* That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Aescwyn.
-------------------------------------------------------------
*Aescwyn is walking down the hallway and spots a green Evil Knight ghost pigging out on a dinner cart* Aescwyn: *whispering loudly and looking around nervously* Glace! Nana! *turns back to the Evil Knight ghost* I guess I'll having to contain myself *goes for particle thrower wand on her proton pack* *Evil turns around as she fires, fleeing as the laser tears up the wall and send the dinner cart crashing into the wall as he disappears through it.*
-------------------------------------------------------------
* Aescwyn looking through curtains with goggles, spotting Evil hovering above the chandelier* Ruby: That's the one that slimed me.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Glace: We came we saw, we kicked it's a**! Aescwyn: *walking out with a smoking trap* We got! Aros: Did you see it? What is it? Aescwyn: You had a full roaming vapor or a Class 3 Repeating Evil Knight Phantasm. A real nasty one too.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 7:51 pm
|
Elphaba_Rogan_Thropp Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:16 am
Fidens: Do we have any chance of surviving this? Gabriel: You do. Fidens: So odds are you're a dead man tomorrow. Gabriel: Yes. Fidens: Well. Last night on earth. What are your plans? Gabriel: I just thought I'd sit here quietly. Fidens: Come on, anything? Booze, women? Gabriel: *looks uncomfortable* Fidens: You have been with a woman before. Right? Or an angel, at least? Gabriel: ... Fidens: You mean to tell me you've never been up there doing a little cloud-seeding? Gabriel: I've never had occasion, okay? Fidens: All right. Let me tell you something. There are two things I know for certain. One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two: you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. Let's go. *later, at a brothel* Gabriel: *looks terrified* Fidens: Hey. Relax. Gabriel: This is a den of iniquity. I should not be here. Fidens: Dude, you full-on rebelled against heaven. Iniquity is one of the perks.
-----------------------------------------------------------
*At a crime scene at night. Nana and Glace are wearing CSI uniforms, complete with David Caruso sunglasses* Glace: You've got to calm down. Nana: Calm down? I am wearing sunglasses at night. You know who does that? *rips her sunglasses off* No-talent douchebags! I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop show. And you want to know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There’s like 300 of them on TV, and they're all the freakin' same! It's like 'oh... a plane crashed here.' Oh shut up! Glace: Come on, we just have to play along. *to CC* What do we have here? CC: Well... aside from the ligature marks around his neck, he has what appears to be a roll of quarters jammed down his throat. Glace: *doing a Caruso onle-liner* Well I say... jackpot. CC: Heh. Also there's a stabwound to the lower abdomen there. Nana: *rolls her eyes and plays along* Well I say... No guts, no glory. Glace: Get that guy a Tums. Nana: Gutter ball.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: Well, for starters…Ruby is not a real prophet. Glace: Well, what is she, exactly? Gabriel: The whore. Glace: Wow. Gabe, tell us what you really think. O.o Gabriel: She rises when Lucifer walks the earth. “And she shall come, bearing false prophecy.” This creature has the power to take a human’s form, read minds. Book of Revelation calls her “the Whore of Babylon.” Nana: Well, that’s catchy. Gabriel: The whore can be killed with this. It’s a stake made from a cypress tree in Babylon. Glace: Great. Let’s ventilate her. Gabriel: It’s not that easy. Nana: ‘Course not. Alright. So, then, how do we go Pimp of Babylon all over this b***h? Gabriel: The whore can only be killed by a true Servant of Heaven. Glace: Servant, like… Gabriel: Not you. Or me. Aescwyn, of course, is an abomination. We’ll have to find someone else.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:24 am
Gabriel: Who is that? Xeranus: Tila, my wife. Gabriel: Your new wife? Xeranus: My dead wife. Knight: You’re a zombie?! Tila: I’m a taxpayer. >__> Knight: Are you crazy? What the hell?! Xeranus: Guys, I can explain. Gabriel: Explain what? Lying to us, or the American Girl zombie making cupcakes in your kitchen?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Knight: So what do you think? Gabriel: There's nothing to think about. I'm not going to leave Xer at home with the Bride of Frankenstein. Knight: So what do you want to do, just walk in there in front of Xeranus and blow her skull off? Gabriel: If she decides that his face is a Blue Plate Special, I'd like to be there.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Knight: You got anymore ammo? I'm low... Gabriel: Yeah, we got plenty. Just run back past the zombies, it's in the van where we left it. Knight: A simple no would have been fine.
-----------------------------------------------------------
*hiding from the zombies in a closet* Gabriel: Kind of a tight fit, don't you think? Knight: It's alright, they're idiots. They can't pick a lock. *the banging on the door stops and the knob starts to turn* Gabriel: Don't you ever get tired of being wrong? Knight: I'm making this stuff up as I go. Sue me.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: I hear you, OK? Yeah, I'm being an a** and I'm sorry. But right now we've got a freaking zombie running around and we need to figure out how to kill it. Knight: Our lives are weird, man. Gabriel: You're telling me.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:56 am
Aescwyn: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fidens: B.M., there's ten times as much lore about angels as there is about anything else we've ever hunted. B.M.: You know what, there's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams, and that they shoot rainbows out of their a**! Fidens: Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fidens: Come on man. I know Gabe, ok? Better than anyone. He's got more of a conscience than I do. I mean the guy feels guilty searching the internet for porn.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fidens: I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Knight: We know a little about a lot of things; just enough to make us dangerous.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: Fanta, did you pay any attention in history class? Fanta: Yeah. Shot heard 'round the world, how bills become laws... Aescwyn: That's not school; that's schoolhouse rock!
-----------------------------------------------------------
*Ruby appears to be dead* Gabriel: Ya' know she could be faking. Aescwyn: *joking* Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick? Gabriel: *nods* Aescwyn: Dude, you're not gonna poke her with a stick!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: Well, before we go stabbing things into Alton, we're gonna wanna make damn sure it's him. Aescwyn: You're such a stickler for details, Gabe.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fidens: Yeah, MySpace, what the hell is that? Seriously, is that like some sort of porn site?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fanta: I think I learned a valuable lesson. Always take down your Christmas decorations after New Year's or you get shanked by a hooker from God. Hah! Aescwyn: I'm laughing on the inside.
-----------------------------------------------------------
*Xeranus has developed an addiction to vibrating beds* Xeranus: Did you bring quarters? Tila: Dude, I'm not enabling your sick habit. You're like one of those lab rats that pushes the pleasure button instead of the food button until it dies. Xeranus: What're you talking about? I eat.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Alton: You think you're funny? Nana: I think I'm adorable.
-----------------------------------------------------------
B.M.: Kids are the best? Fidens: Yeah, I love kids. B.M.: Name three children that you even know. *Fid scratches head for while; B.M. starts to walk away* Fidens: I'm thinking!
-----------------------------------------------------------
B.M.: So let me get this straight. You want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick? Fidens: She was a yoga teacher. That was the bendiest weekend of my life! *grins* Mmm... Gumby girl.... Wait. Does that make me Pokey?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: It's all a con, isn’t it? Gabriel: How do you sleep at night? Tila: On silk sheets, rolling naked in money. Really, Gabe. I'd expect the attitude from her, but you? Gabriel: You shot me! Tila: I barely grazed you. *to Aescwyn* Cute. But a bit of a drama queen, yeah? Aescwyn: Can I shoot her? Gabriel: Not in public.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Tila: You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex. Xeranus: Don't objectify me.
-----------------------------------------------------------
*Ruby just force-fed Gabe a potion* Gabriel: You saved my life. Ruby: Don't mention it. Gabriel: What was that stuff? God, it was a**. It tasted like a**. Ruby: It's witchcraft, short bus. Gabriel: You're the short bus, short bus...
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fanta: It's like we got a contract on us. You think it's 'cause we're so awesome? I think it's 'cause it's we're so awesome.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: *horrified* I shot the Sheriff. Nana: *grins* But you didn't shoot the deputy.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: I hate witches! Spewing their bodily fluids everywhere. It is insane! Its downright unsanitary!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fanta: You're a demon! Nana: Don't be such a racist.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fidens: I know what you're thinking: Why did it have to be clowns! Xeranus: Gimme a break. Fidens: You didn't think I remembered, did you? Come on, man, you still bust out crying when you see Ronald McDonald on the television. Xeranus: At least I'm not afraid of flying. Fidens: Planes crash! Xeranus: And apparently clowns kill.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: You're bossy. Glace: What? Aescwyn: You're bossy... and short. *giggles* Glace: Dude, are you drunk? Aescwyn: Yeah. So? Stupid.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: You b***h! Ruby: Oh, my goodness me! Somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar. Oh, do you know what I say when I feel like swearing? “Fudge”. Aescwyn: You FUDGING touch me again and I’ll FUDGING kill you!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: Dude, dude, I'm not using this ID. Knight: Why not? Gabriel: Because it says "bikini inspector" on it!
-----------------------------------------------------------
*Knight almost get’s hit by a car, Gabriel (who is stuck in a time loop) pulls him out of the way* Knight: Wait, did he... ? Gabriel: Yesterday, yeah. Knight: *grins* And? Gabriel: And what? Knight: Did it look cool like in the movies? Gabriel: You peed yourself! Knight: *frowns* Of course I peed myself, man gets hit by a car, do you think he has full control over his bladder? Come on!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: Dude. I'll admit we've gone pretty ghetto with spellwork before, but this takes the cake. I mean, a Spongebob placemat instead of an altar cloth? Glace: *shrugs* We'll just put it Spongebob side down.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fanta: What do you think? Aescwyn: I think you totally should have been jamming 'Eye of the Tiger' right there. Fanta: Oh, bite me.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Knight: Look, man, I know this all has to be so hard. Gabriel: Not so much. Knight: But I want you to know… I'm here for you. You brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here! *gives Gabe a big bear hug* You're too precious for this world!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: This isn't your fight. Glace: The hell it isn't! Family doesn’t end with blood.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: *waving around a shotgun full of rock-salt* Now get the hell off my property before I blast you so full of rock-salt that you start crapping margaritas!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Nana: You stupid, stupid, son of a b***h. Well boo-hoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt Princess! Are you under the impression that family is supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Glace: Hey, Dad, whatever happened to my college fund? Aros: Spent it on ammo.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Glace: Destiny? Don't give me that "holy" crap. Destiny, God's plan... It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a b***h! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what's real? People, families - that's real. And you're gonna watch them all burn? Aros: What is worth saving?! I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion... In Paradise all is forgiven. You'll be at peace.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Knight: You know, it's kind of funny, talking to an angel of God on a cell phone. It's, you know, like watching a Hell's Angel ride a moped. Gabriel: *doesn’t know how to work a cell phone* This isn't funny Knight! The voice says I'm almost out of minutes!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: I’m gonna find God. Fanta: Try New Mexico, I hear he's on a tortilla. Gabriel: God is not on any flatbread.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Alton: Is this funny to you? You're living in a godless universe. Nana: And? What, you and the other kids just decide to throw an Apocalypse while he's gone?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: I need help finding an Archangel. The one who killed me. Nana: 'Scuse me? Gabriel: His name is Raphael. Nana: You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Tila: All right, what's the plan? Aescwyn: We'll...tell the officer that he witnessed an angel of the Lord, and the officer will tell us where the angel is. Tila: Seriously? You're going to walk in there and tell him the truth? Aescwyn: Why not? Tila: Because we're demons. And when demons want something really, really bad, we lie. Aescwyn: Why? Tila: Because that's how you become President.
-----------------------------------------------------------
B.M.: No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex. Fid, they basically just outlawed 90 percent of your personality.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Glace: What's wrong with you? Are you...drunk? Gabriel: No!... *stumbles* Yes. Glace: What the hell happened to you? Gabriel: I found a liquor store. Glace: And? Gabriel: And I drank it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Nana: Anyone got a breath mint? Some guts splashed in my mouth while I was killing my way in here.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fidens: Word to the wise. Don't piss off the nerd angels.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Xeranus: Fid, it's Valentine Day. Your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it -- Unattached Drifter Christmas? Go on, unleash the Kraken. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 12:45 pm
Future!Xeranus: Okay. If you're me... then tell me something only I would know. Xeranus: Rhonda Hurley. We were, uh... 19. She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it. Future!Xeranus: Touché. *after a moment* Some free advice? You ever get back to the past, you hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it, like it's made of gold.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: What if we win? I'm serious. I mean, screw the angels and the demons and their crap Apocalypse. They want to fight a war, they can find their own planet. This one's ours, and I say they get the hell off of it. We take 'em all on. We kill Alton. Hell, we even kill Aros if we have to, but we do it our own damn selves. Nana: And how are we supposed to do all this, genius? Aescwyn: I got no idea. But what I got is a G.E.D. and a "give 'em hell" attitude and I'll figure it out.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Nana: *deadpan* Oh, thank God. The angels are here.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Glace: When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a 45! Aescwyn: *shrugs* What was he supposed to do? Glace: I was 9 years old, Aesc! He was supposed to say ‘don’t be afraid of the dark’! Aescwyn: *snorts* Don’t be afraid of the dark? What are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark, you know what’s out there.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Nanny: Boy, if you put that foot up on my coffee table I’ll whack you with a spoon! Xeranus: I didn’t even do anything! O.O Nanny: Yeah, but you were thinkin’ it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: Admit it, man. You have got to update your cassette collection. Knight: Why? Gabriel: Well, for one: they’re cassettes. And two: Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metallica? It’s like, the greatest hit’s of mullet rock. Knight: You know what? House rules, Gabe. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Glace: You need to calm down Aescwyn: Well I’m sorry, I can’t! Glace: Yes, you can. Aescwyn: Glace, this plane is gonna crash so stop treating me like I’m frickin four! Glace: You need to relax. Aescwyn: Stop it with the self-help, touchy feely yoga crap! It’s not helping!
-----------------------------------------------------------
B.M.: What Dad 'wants' doesn't matter! Fidens: You see that? That attitude there? That's why I always got the extra cookie.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: *jams the barrel of a gun into Gabe’s back* Gabriel: Oh, please let that be a rifle... Aescwyn: No, I’m just real happy to see you. Gabriel: *spins around and disarms her* Aescwyn: *punches him in the nose and takes her gun back*
-----------------------------------------------------------
Nana: Fake badge fake credit cards, fake name,.. Is there anything of yours that’s real? Fidens: ...my boobs?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Tila: It must be hard, with your sense of direction. Never being able to find your way to a decent pick-up line.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Glace: I know Evil. He's a real good hunter. Why you asking, sweetie? Gabriel: We ran into him on a job and we're kind of working with him, I guess. Glace: Don't do that, Gabe. Gabriel: I thought you said he was a good hunter. Glace: Yeah, and Hannibal Lecter's a good psychiatrist.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: Hey do you know where Fidens is? Glace: If you want to find him, just look for a van with a barbarian queen painted on the side. Knight: Barbarian queen? Glace: She's riding a polar bear - it's kind of hard to miss. *cut to the van in question* Knight: I'm sorry, I'm starting to like this dude - that van is sweet! Gabriel: *knocks on the door* Fid! Hey, Fid you in there? *nothing* Knight: Hey, Dr. Badass! Fidens: *answers the door, stark naked* Gabe! Knight! What can I do you for? Gabriel: *stricken* Knight: ...Fid, we need your help. Fidens: Well hell, I guess I need my pants then...
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: I heard you before, Gabe, when Ruby made you tell the truth. You're just as scared of this as I am. Gabriel: That was mind control! That was like being roofied, man. It doesn't count. Aescwyn: What? Gabriel: No. I'm calling do-overs. Aescwyn: What are you, seven?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fanta: Go directly to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.
-----------------------------------------------------------
*Knight and Gabe have landed in jail* Knight: Don't worry, Gabe. I promise I won't trade you for smokes. XD Gabriel: D:
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: Well, so much for our low profile. You've got a warrant in St. Louis, and now you're officially in the Feds' database. Knight: Dude, I'm like Dillinger or something. XD Gabriel: Knight, it's not funny. It makes the job harder; we've got to be more careful now. Knight: What do they got on you? Gabriel: *abashed* I'm sure they just... haven't posted it yet. Knight: Wait, no accessory? Nothing? Gabriel: Shut up! Knight: You're jealous! Gabriel: No, I'm not! Knight: All right. What have you got on the case there, you innocent, harmless young man, you?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fidens: *staring at Nana’s hellhounds* I bet they could hump the crap out of your leg - look at that one! Fanta: *disgusted*
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fanta: Please tell us you have actual good news. Aescwyn: Chicago is about to be wiped off the map. Storm of the millennium. Sets off a daisy chain of natural disasters. Three million people are gonna die. Fidens: I don't understand your definition of good news. Gabriel: The apocalypse... It's starting. Fanta: You think, genius? Gabriel: You don't have to be mean. Fanta: So what do we do now? Fidens: I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol and wait for the inevitable blast wave.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fidens: So. Dangerous mission tomorrow. Guess it's time to eat, drink, and, you know, make merry. Fanta: Are you seriously giving me the last-night-on-earth speech?
-----------------------------------------------------------
B.M.: Is this Heaven? Fidens: Looks like it. B.M.: OK, how are we in heaven? Fidens: Lot of clean living, I guess. B.M.: No, no... You, I get. But me, maybe you haven't noticed but I've done a few things. Fidens: You thought you were doing the right thing. B.M.: Last I checked, it wasn't the road to heaven that was paved with good intentions. Fidens: Yeah, well if this is the Skymall, then it sucks. Where's the triplets and the latex, you know? Come on, a guy has needs.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aros: Give up, don't give up, I'm still going to take it out on your asses. Its personal now, boys. And the last person in the history of creation you want as your enemy is me. And I'll tell you why. Alton may be strong. But I'm petty.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Knight: Gabe’s tough for a little nerdy dude with wings.
-----------------------------------------------------------
*Glace and Aescwyn go undercover at an HvH convention* Aescwyn: No, I'm not a fan, okay. Not fans! In fact, I think the HvH story sucks. It is not fun, it's not entertaining. It is a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse! So you listen to me. Our pain is not for your amusement. I mean, you think we enjoy being treated like... like circus freaks? Kare: Uhh, I don't think they care, because they're fictional characters. Aescwyn: Oh, they care. Believe me, they care a lot! Glace: She uh... She takes the story really seriously. ^__^; CC: I'm not sure you get what the story's about. Aescwyn: That so? CC: In real life, Kare sells stereo equipment. I fix copiers. Our lives suck. But the HvH crew... To wake up every morning and save the world? To have someone who would die for you? Well, who wouldn't want that? Aescwyn: Well, maybe you've got a point...
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fidens: Now have we done feeling our feelings? Because I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 1:28 pm
*looking for the Nana's fort to escape the zombie posse* Knight:Why are we at the Grand Canyon? Aescwyn: The Colorado River is at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. *looks at Knight and Gabriel* Is this news to both of you? Knight: Geography wasn't my thing. I was more of an arts and music guy. Gabriel: I was remedial. Aescwyn: Yeah, but everybody knows that the Colorado River is at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. I thought you were taking me to a fort at a crossing? Gabriel: Aesc, please don't yell. He's the one who told you about the army and the fort and all that stuff. That's the first I ever heard of it. Aescwyn: *Turns to Knight* You were lying? Knight: No, I wasn't lying. He's the one that's supposed to know this country like the back of his hand. I figured once we reached the Colorado it was either left or right to the fort. Personally, I was gonna go straight and let you take it from there with your suicide plot against the Heaven's Army. Aescwyn: I should've left you two for the Cursed. Knight: It was your crazy uncle Alton set 'em loose. So I don't see either one of us is to blame for our problems right now. Aescwyn: You wanna blame me for my uncle's curse? I'm not the one who drove him off a cliff, soldier. And if I hadn't've found you two idiots, they would have. I hope this plague kills all of you white people. Knight: I ain't that big a fan of white people either, sister. At least we got f***ing wheels. Aescwyn: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Knight: Wheels... the basic benchmark of civilization. You angels are supposed to be so great and wise and everything; and I got sympathy for your situation, I do. But you'd still be dragging everything on the ground if we hadn't've brought wheels into this country. And horses. The f***ing demons brought you your horses, did you know that? Before they got here, you was just a bunch of savages in diapers dragging all your s*** around on sticks and blankets. Aescwyn: That is so ignorant. Knight: Seems like you like our guns too; and I ain't even gonna start on the fire water s***. Aescewyn: Did you invent the wheel, Knight? No, you didn't. But you're gonna take personal credit for Western Civilization? Your monkey ancestors happened to be born in an area with abundant founder crops; big, slow ruminants, and a lateral continental axis that allowed for the development of agriculture, writing and maritime technology. Not to mention cross-species plagues, which are the real weapons of European conquest. So you invented smallpox; nice going d***! Gabriel: Monkey ancestors? Aescwyn: Oh, Jesus Christ. Read a book! Knight: What the hell kinda crazy book is that s*** in?
-------------------------------------------------------------
[outtakes from same movie] *Gabriel and Knight are watching Aescwyn fight off a zombie soldier in the room* Knight: You don't want to get involved with a woman like that! Gabriel: *defensive* Why not?! Knight: 'Cuz you're gay. *both bust down laughing, crew can be heard laughing off camera*
-------------------------------------------------------------
*Ruby is about to drop a steaming pot onto Alton cowering on the floor when it's blown from her hands. A loud gunshot echoes in the chamber.* Gabriel: Yo, she-b****! *reloadeds sawed off double barrel shotgun* Let's go! *Ruby flies at him*
-------------------------------------------------------------
Knight:What are you? Are you me? Evil Knight: Whad are do? Are do be? HAHAHAHAHAH! You sound like a jerk! Knight: Why ya doin' this, huh? Evil Knight: Oh, you wanna know? 'Cause the answer's easy! I'm BAD Knight... and you're GOOD Knight! You're a goody little two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! Little goody two-shoes! *begins to sucker-punch Knight* Evil Knight: *while doing a jig* Goody little TWO-SHOES! Goody little TWO-SHOES! HEHEHEHEHE! *honk honk honk* GOODY LITTLE TWO-SHOES! GOODY LITTLE... Knight: *cocks shotgun and points it under Evil Knights nose, nods head and fires* Knight: Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-------------------------------------------------------------
*after Knight hacks up Evil, he throws the bag containing him into the hole* Knight: That'll teach ya. Evil: *his head rolls out of the bag* You shall never reach the Necronomicon! You'll die in the cemetery before you get it. Knight: Hey what's that on your face? Evil: *confused* Huh? *Knight throws dirt on him* I'll come back for you!
-------------------------------------------------------------
Evil: I'll spoil those good looks!
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 1:44 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 1:59 pm
My Fav's:
Gabriel: Who is that? Xeranus: Tila, my wife. Gabriel: Your new wife? Xeranus: My dead wife. Knight: You’re a zombie?! Tila: I’m a taxpayer. >__> Knight: Are you crazy? What the hell?! Xeranus: Guys, I can explain. Gabriel: Explain what? Lying to us, or the American Girl zombie making cupcakes in your kitchen?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Knight: So what do you think? Gabriel: There's nothing to think about. I'm not going to leave Xer at home with the Bride of Frankenstein. Knight: So what do you want to do, just walk in there in front of Xeranus and blow her skull off? Gabriel: If she decides that his face is a Blue Plate Special, I'd like to be there.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Knight: You got anymore ammo? I'm low... Gabriel: Yeah, we got plenty. Just run back past the zombies, it's in the van where we left it. Knight: A simple no would have been fine.
-----------------------------------------------------------
*hiding from the zombies in a closet* Gabriel: Kind of a tight fit, don't you think? Knight: It's alright, they're idiots. They can't pick a lock. *the banging on the door stops and the knob starts to turn* Gabriel: Don't you ever get tired of being wrong? Knight: I'm making this stuff up as I go. Sue me.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: I hear you, OK? Yeah, I'm being an a** and I'm sorry. But right now we've got a freaking zombie running around and we need to figure out how to kill it. Knight: Our lives are weird, man. Gabriel: You're telling me. ----------------------------------------------------------- Glace: What's wrong with you? Are you...drunk? Gabriel: No!... *stumbles* Yes. Glace: What the hell happened to you? Gabriel: I found a liquor store. Glace: And? Gabriel: And I drank it.
------------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: I need help finding an Archangel. The one who killed me. Nana: 'Scuse me? Gabriel: His name is Raphael. Nana: You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: I’m gonna find God. Fanta: Try New Mexico, I hear he's on a tortilla. Gabriel: God is not on any flatbread.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Knight: You know, it's kind of funny, talking to an angel of God on a cell phone. It's, you know, like watching a Hell's Angel ride a moped. Gabriel: *doesn’t know how to work a cell phone* This isn't funny Knight! The voice says I'm almost out of minutes! ------------------------------------------------------------- *Knight almost get’s hit by a car, Gabriel (who is stuck in a time loop) pulls him out of the way* Knight: Wait, did he... ? Gabriel: Yesterday, yeah. Knight: *grins* And? Gabriel: And what? Knight: Did it look cool like in the movies? Gabriel: You peed yourself! Knight: *frowns* Of course I peed myself, man gets hit by a car, do you think he has full control over his bladder? Come on!
------------------------------------------------------------- Gabriel: Dude, dude, I'm not using this ID. Knight: Why not? Gabriel: Because it says "bikini inspector" on it!
------------------------------------------------------------- Aescwyn: You b***h! Ruby: Oh, my goodness me! Somebody owes a nickel to the swear jar. Oh, do you know what I say when I feel like swearing? “Fudge”. Aescwyn: You FUDGING touch me again and I’ll FUDGING kill you! ------------------------------------------------------------- *Ruby just force-fed Gabe a potion* Gabriel: You saved my life. Ruby: Don't mention it. Gabriel: What was that stuff? God, it was a**. It tasted like a**. Ruby: It's witchcraft, short bus. Gabriel: You're the short bus, short bus...
------------------------------------------------------------- Aescwyn: It's all a con, isn’t it? Gabriel: How do you sleep at night? Tila: On silk sheets, rolling naked in money. Really, Gabe. I'd expect the attitude from her, but you? Gabriel: You shot me! Tila: I barely grazed you. *to Aescwyn* Cute. But a bit of a drama queen, yeah? Aescwyn: Can I shoot her? Gabriel: Not in public.
------------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: Well, before we go stabbing things into Alton, we're gonna wanna make damn sure it's him. Aescwyn: You're such a stickler for details, Gabe.
-------------------------------------------------------------
*Ruby appears to be dead* Gabriel: Ya' know she could be faking. Aescwyn: *joking* Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick? Gabriel: *nods* Aescwyn: Dude, you're not gonna poke her with a stick!
------------------------------------------------------------- Knight: We know a little about a lot of things; just enough to make us dangerous
------------------------------------------------------------- Gabriel: Well, so much for our low profile. You've got a warrant in St. Louis, and now you're officially in the Feds' database. Knight: Dude, I'm like Dillinger or something. XD Gabriel: Knight, it's not funny. It makes the job harder; we've got to be more careful now. Knight: What do they got on you? Gabriel: *abashed* I'm sure they just... haven't posted it yet. Knight: Wait, no accessory? Nothing? Gabriel: Shut up! Knight: You're jealous! Gabriel: No, I'm not! Knight: All right. What have you got on the case there, you innocent, harmless young man, you? -------------------------------------------------------------
*Knight and Gabe have landed in jail* Knight: Don't worry, Gabe. I promise I won't trade you for smokes. XD Gabriel: D: -------------------------------------------------------------
Aescwyn: I heard you before, Gabe, when Ruby made you tell the truth. You're just as scared of this as I am. Gabriel: That was mind control! That was like being roofied, man. It doesn't count. Aescwyn: What? Gabriel: No. I'm calling do-overs. Aescwyn: What are you, seven?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Gabriel: Hey do you know where Fidens is? Glace: If you want to find him, just look for a van with a barbarian queen painted on the side. Knight: Barbarian queen? Glace: She's riding a polar bear - it's kind of hard to miss. *cut to the van in question* Knight: I'm sorry, I'm starting to like this dude - that van is sweet! Gabriel: *knocks on the door* Fid! Hey, Fid you in there? *nothing* Knight: Hey, Dr. Badass! Fidens: *answers the door, stark naked* Gabe! Knight! What can I do you for? Gabriel: *stricken* Knight: ...Fid, we need your help. Fidens: Well hell, I guess I need my pants then... -------------------------------------------------------------
Glace: I know Evil. He's a real good hunter. Why you asking, sweetie? Gabriel: We ran into him on a job and we're kind of working with him, I guess. Glace: Don't do that, Gabe. Gabriel: I thought you said he was a good hunter. Glace: Yeah, and Hannibal Lecter's a good psychiatrist.
------------------------------------------------------------ Aescwyn: *jams the barrel of a gun into Gabe’s back* Gabriel: Oh, please let that be a rifle... Aescwyn: No, I’m just real happy to see you. Gabriel: *spins around and disarms her* Aescwyn: *punches him in the nose and takes her gun back*
------------------------------------------------------------- Gabriel: Admit it, man. You have got to update your cassette collection. Knight: Why? Gabriel: Well, for one: they’re cassettes. And two: Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metallica? It’s like, the greatest hit’s of mullet rock. Knight: You know what? House rules, Gabe. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.
------------------------------------------------------------
rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|