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 Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 5:49 am
I love the "OH! AND EVERYBODY'S HIGH!" quote. <3333 LoveLoveLove.
"Well, who the ******** knew?"
-Jon.
I didn't actually see this, but my friend played it out to me. I thought it was HILARIOUS.
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Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 12:40 pm
*pops condom* "... And the banana is a delicious source of potassium!"
Greatest. Episode. Ever.
Guess what I did on Friday! My friend bought a box of condoms... and I blew one up, and then she blew one up, and then I tried to put one on my head. But I couldn't, and that's a good thing. Because I probably would have suffocated. O_o
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 1:04 pm
Oliver's English Dictionary - n., A mediocre handjob XD
"Could I get another Oliver's English Dictionary? That last one left me unsatisfied."
OMG LAWL.
A stew made from carrots and an entire pineapple. ^^
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2006 7:58 pm
Oh, Stephen said this on TCR last night and I thought it was such a classic Colbert line.
"I can make up my own statistics, too!"
At least I'm pretty sure that was it... someone correct me if I'm wrong.
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Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2006 3:37 am
samuraichikX " the people have spoken, and aparently they're tired of freedom, dont get me wrong i'm not angry i'm just disappointed, i thought this country would last more than 230 years, that's it folks, america's over, at this point we might as well just give it back to the goddam indians, let's see how they deal with forein enemies bent on their destruction...he's your cake terrorists...there ya go, enjoy, mmm...tastes like surrender...jimmy might as well get those subtitles going, yeah there ya go...get used to these, at this point we might as well put a burka over meg while we're at it, you know what really gets me, is that the democrats didnt win this thing the republicans lost it, they ran away from the president....Hey the ship's in trouble quick let's drown the captain!....we were this close to jesus coming back, and you republicans who turned your back on the president are gonna wander in the desert for the next 2 years...literally, someone is gonna have to replace those troops in iraq, and dont think you're off the hook voters you're the ones who made this bed, now you're the ones who are gonna have to move over so a gay couple can sleep in it" I was totally thinking of this one!! Especially the cake part where he brings it out, dips his finger along the frosting, tastes it and says the "tastes like surrender" line. The effing greatest. Anywho, to contribute: "Your voice is like a jackyl picking at my brain! I hate you! I hate who you are and what you do and how you sound and what you say! You're like a Cancer on my life! God!" - Colbert "When my syndicated show got canceled, the next day I still knew how to write jokes. That was a huge revelation. Because at first you think, "I won't have any shelter! What am I gonna do? The sun is hot. Very thirsty."" - Stewart
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Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 6:50 pm
"Tooohoo i RRRuv tea is so good for you mm you so pretty american girl come here you kiss my tea make it sweet i no need no sugar when you round come on my rickshaw i give you a ride to bangcock!" ~SC
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Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 7:05 pm
the one with bill oreilly:
"guess what everyone, your not high, bill is really coming on
*audience laughs*
..or you could just be high"
-SC
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Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 2:53 pm
"At this moment, I am declaring april 25th "******** the Earth Day." That's gonna be a day to drive around in your half-mile per gallon Humscalade while spraying Aquanet at baby seals. You know why? 'Cause we're not going out baby! We're not going out like the dinosaurs, because without us you're nothing but a billion-year-old self-sustaining, self-regulating organic Eden in complete harmony with itself. So ******** you."
Jon Stewart
"I do fear bears. They're giant, maurading, godless killing machines."
Colbert (obviously)
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Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 3:07 pm
Jon Stewart The State of the Union matches up two bitter rivals, The President, and words.
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 4:08 pm
Spiral Out "At this moment, I am declaring April 25th "******** the Earth Day." That's gonna be a day to drive around in your half-mile per gallon Humscalade while spraying Aquanet at baby seals. You know why? 'Cause we're not going out baby! We're not going out like the dinosaurs, because without us you're nothing but a billion-year-old self-sustaining, self-regulating organic Eden in complete harmony with itself. So ******** you." Jon's sarcasm = deliciousness.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 1:14 pm
Spiral Out "At this moment, I am declaring april 25th "******** the Earth Day." That's gonna be a day to drive around in your half-mile per gallon Humscalade while spraying Aquanet at baby seals. You know why? 'Cause we're not going out baby! We're not going out like the dinosaurs, because without us you're nothing but a billion-year-old self-sustaining, self-regulating organic Eden in complete harmony with itself. So ******** you." Jon Stewart "I do fear bears. They're giant, maurading, godless killing machines." Colbert (obviously) LOL i love it when jon does segments like that
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2007 4:57 pm
i dont see race people tell me im white and i belive them because the cops call me sir
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 6:01 pm
Spiral Out "At this moment, I am declaring april 25th "******** the Earth Day." That's gonna be a day to drive around in your half-mile per gallon Humscalade while spraying Aquanet at baby seals. You know why? 'Cause we're not going out baby! We're not going out like the dinosaurs, because without us you're nothing but a billion-year-old self-sustaining, self-regulating organic Eden in complete harmony with itself. So ******** you." Jon Stewart "I do fear bears. They're giant, maurading, godless killing machines." Colbert (obviously) I remember the ******** the Earth Day one. God I love Stewart.
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 6:02 pm
Missy Wyvern Spiral Out "At this moment, I am declaring April 25th "******** the Earth Day." That's gonna be a day to drive around in your half-mile per gallon Humscalade while spraying Aquanet at baby seals. You know why? 'Cause we're not going out baby! We're not going out like the dinosaurs, because without us you're nothing but a billion-year-old self-sustaining, self-regulating organic Eden in complete harmony with itself. So ******** you." Jon's sarcasm = deliciousness. Jon in general equals deliciousness. razz
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Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 2:44 pm
Jon: STEPHEN COLBERT, DON’T YOU DO IT BOY! I cannot sit here and see you prostrate yourself upon the altar of one Conan O’Brien.
Stephen: But Jon, you heard the soundness of his logic!
Jon: Is it sound, sir?!
Stephen: It seems like it! *Both look over the edge of the desk, where Jon’s dropped something* Do you have something for me?
Jon: I may! Wait! Hold on! Stephen Colbert made Huckabee. Conan O’Brien made Colbert, who made Huckabee, therefore Conan O’Brien made Huckabee. Who, sir, then, made Conan O’Brien? *Audience oohs* Sir, I think you may find this somewhat edifying. Yes, that’s right, VHS!
Stephen: The latest technology!
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