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 Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 8:17 pm
Unikorn, the best idea I can come up with is MAKE SOME NOISE. Go to papers, radio shows, make an internet site- anything. The more noise you make, the more people will pay attention.
As soon as you can write a timeline style itinerary of everthing that has happened- make it clear and concise and then fax it to every single childrens advocate and charity organisation you can find in the phone book. I will look online for some info on childrens advocates for you.
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 8:48 pm
I want to thank all of you for your support. What I wrote earlier is just the tip of the iceberg of abuses. I've tried to get it taken to a higher court in the past, after the hearing that was held without my being there, but the court denied it saying I didn't have enough grounds yet. I have gone to the media... The local small town papers don't care at all, and definitely would not print something against one of their own. I have gone to Sioux City media, Des Moines Iowa media and Even Omaha Nebraska Media. Basically someone has to die first before it will become big enough for them to write about. The DHS involved has already returned one 2 yr old girl to her home and she was killed last summer by her parents. I think there was another case, but I only heard rumors about it. That is the hard part about being away...so do I risk my life and stay close to fight it, become an annoying buzzing fly constantly stirring up trouble.... or continue to try and fight it from away. I have the ability to change my citizenship to Germany, but I know if I do that, they will be keeping a close eye on me, in case I try to take my kids and flee there. I had even thought about getting an Rv, and going to canada and just driving around, but eventually I"ll run out of money, and If I get pulled over I risk getting arrested and extradited. I've even thought about marrying someone from another country and change my name, and then flee with the person and my kids. I mean that is one of my last resorts, but I feel backed up to a wall. My boys are scared to shower, they actually barracade the bathroom door on top of locking it. They won't tell me why, but I found out from my youngest who let it slip, that his step mom has pictures of nude boys of their privates...It makes me wonder if she was going in the bathroom and taking pictures of them
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 8:49 pm
Hey- I found this site, you may have already been there, but just in case it has a comprehensive list of organisations that may be able to help you. Child trendIts a goverment site, so its a bit wordy....here, the UNICEF one has a link to Childrens advocacy listings- Unicef
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 9:03 pm
UniKorn Tiger I want to thank all of you for your support. What I wrote earlier is just the tip of the iceberg of abuses. I've tried to get it taken to a higher court in the past, after the hearing that was held without my being there, but the court denied it saying I didn't have enough grounds yet. I have gone to the media... The local small town papers don't care at all, and definitely would not print something against one of their own. I have gone to Sioux City media, Des Moines Iowa media and Even Omaha Nebraska Media. Basically someone has to die first before it will become big enough for them to write about. The DHS involved has already returned one 2 yr old girl to her home and she was killed last summer by her parents. I think there was another case, but I only heard rumors about it. That is the hard part about being away...so do I risk my life and stay close to fight it, become an annoying buzzing fly constantly stirring up trouble.... or continue to try and fight it from away. I have the ability to change my citizenship to Germany, but I know if I do that, they will be keeping a close eye on me, in case I try to take my kids and flee there. I had even thought about getting an Rv, and going to canada and just driving around, but eventually I"ll run out of money, and If I get pulled over I risk getting arrested and extradited. I've even thought about marrying someone from another country and change my name, and then flee with the person and my kids. I mean that is one of my last resorts, but I feel backed up to a wall. My boys are scared to shower, they actually barracade the bathroom door on top of locking it. They won't tell me why, but I found out from my youngest who let it slip, that his step mom has pictures of nude boys of their privates...It makes me wonder if she was going in the bathroom and taking pictures of them
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 9:03 pm
And I just wanted to say I hate small, insulated towns where if your family hasn't lived there since they put up the first mud huts, you aren't worth anything. I sympathise with you on the sheer blindness of people in towns like that- all else comes second to reputation, family name....... it makes me so angry.
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 9:57 pm
I agree with you completely on the small town b*llsh*t....
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 9:59 pm
Chels Chels If your trial was held inappropriately, the Supreme Court of the United States is required to look at your appeal. Even if you hand write it on a napkin. If it's written well enough and they find that your trial was held un-Constitutionally, your appeal will be heard, and it will be dealt with. If evidence or anything is mishandled and your appeal explains how it was un-Constitutional, your case will get heard in the Supreme Court. For them to do anything less would go against the Constitution, which the judicial branch of the government is required to interpret and make judgements on. I will check on that, I just tried to appeal to the local district court and had no luck, because they all look out for each other. One judge does a 6 county area..and the district level , they do about 30 counties each.
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:06 pm
My primary gut reaction, UniKorn, was "grab the kids and run like hell"
But that would only keep them safe for as long as you could keep running. If you got caught, they would be back with 'daddy dearest', and their situation would be worse.
I think, first off, you need to find a new lawyer. The one you have doesn't seem to really be working for you. A newer one, trying to establish his practice, would probably put more effort into your case. Secondly, document EVERYTHING that you can. In physical abuse cases, photos are valuable. Dentist records, records from the school nurse, etc. could be subpoenaed (?) to help you build a case.
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:14 pm
God....
I just now got to read everything.
I just don't know what to say. I am flabberghasted. I am wracking my brain to find any kind of sensible advice I can give you, but I am coming up short. I have some child care expert connections, but they are all in Mississippi... and that wouldn't help you much. I have family in Florida, but they all live in the northern part (near Panama City). I *would* say you could move close to there as there is a HUGE tourism industry and many hotels, restaurants, etc - and there is a SMALL town near PC with a low cost of living. My aunt (and several old family friends) who works in that small town works in the Children with Speacial Needs department for the town's schools, so I know any child you have with special needs, would be well looked after in school.
I wish I could suggest something more solid to you.
I will, however, suggest that you absolutley try and not do anything rash. I know taking your kids and running may (in actuality) *be* the right thing to do, but it would only cause more grief and hinderances in the long-run. Your best bet is to keep trying to comply with all this bull s**t as best you can, even though it has worked against you before. I know it seems like a losing uphill battle, but this is a time for extreme level-headedness and fierce determination.
Try and make your court appearance if at all possible. I hate that you'll have such unreliable transportation, but if it's all that is available, then you must use it. Could you maybe take the Greyhound bus and make it in time? You'd pay about the same for a roundtrip ticket as you would in gas money if you drive. My mom takes the bus to come visit me up in DE from Alabama sometimes, and the trip usually takes about 22 hours total one-way (which is about 1200-1300 miles). It'd be a safer alternative than the truck, if you can use the bus. And you could find out schedules and fares online, then buy the ticket at your local station or over the phone. Also, try www.hotwire.com for REALLY cheap plane tickets (which would also cost about as much as gas for driving).
I will try and ask some of my Florida connections for some more/better info on laws and such there that may could help you. I don't know if what they could tell me would be useful, but it's worth a try. Two of my cousins are school teachers in Florida (and my aunt I mentioned earlier works with Special Needs children) so maybe they would have some sort of useful info. I wish so much that one of my numerous relatives was a lawyer I could send you to, to help you.... though maybe there is a family friend. I will ask about that as well.
Just hang on to any abuse reports or doctor's/dentist's testimonies you have. If there as anyway I can find that I can help you, then I damn well will do anything I can to do it. Just hang in there and stay calm.
I will tell my grandparents to add you to their prayer group's list as well.
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:41 pm
icebrat My primary gut reaction, UniKorn, was "grab the kids and run like hell" But that would only keep them safe for as long as you could keep running. If you got caught, they would be back with 'daddy dearest', and their situation would be worse. I think, first off, you need to find a new lawyer. The one you have doesn't seem to really be working for you. A newer one, trying to establish his practice, would probably put more effort into your case. Secondly, document EVERYTHING that you can. In physical abuse cases, photos are valuable. Dentist records, records from the school nurse, etc. could be subpoenaed (?) to help you build a case. I actually have some of the copies, and I have statements from some of the officials...I also managed to get copies of the papers DHS had where they lost the case and documented that they lost the case.. and I have records in the kids school file showing that when the kids came back from their dads from visitation back when we first got divorced, our daughter (the one I haven't seen in almost 3 years now) would always be violent the first few days back to the point of assualting teachers, other students, the bus driver, etc. and since living with her dad has now been arrested twice for assault and is on probation for it. My daughter just turned 17 and I found out that for the last year she has been trying to get pregnant, thankfully she hasn't, and her older sister is trying to talk her out of that behavior. She has also taken up drinking and drugs, but it isn't to the point where it has been documented yet, just eyewitness accounts of my kids friends telling my older kids about it.
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:51 pm
I have found plane tickets for $99 each person, each way, but with all the fee's etc, it will cost $359 plus we have to drive 2 hours to the airport here and 2 hours plus when we land to get to where the hearing is. The hearing was already on thursday and I didnt' get paid till friday. The bus tickets are $89 plus tax each person if you can buy them 7 days in advance or $159 if you buy then on less then 7 days notice.
It takes 2 days by bus, over 40 hours total and We'd still have to find a ride for the last 2 hours also to get where we are going. No bus service to the area. If I drive it will cost me about $100 plus food, but we know how to eat really cheap. It will only cost us about $20 for the trip. The only advantage of driving the pickup is that I can load the bed of the truck full of furniture, and rent a small uhaul trailer to tow to bring more of our personal stuff along.
I'd eventually have to make a second trip down to get the rest of my big furniture that won't fit in the uhaul, but I"ll wait till I know what I'm going to do. I've tried looking for new blood lawyers but in a 150 mile radius, I cannot find one. The area is so rural and backwoods..and the two that I have found were afraid of making waves against the established community. That it would hurt them in their practice later. I've already missed the hearing on Thursday and I'm so fustrated that no one, not the guardian ad litem nor my court appointed attorney could call us. I left messages for the guardian ad litem in the days before the hearing, but he didn't call. When he had the one meeting with my son before all this went to court, he only spent 5 minutes with him and told him that he was seriously over booked, and didn't have much time for his case. I got all over the guy about that when I was finally able to reach him, to stress to him how bad things were...he had no idea, because he didn't have the documentation, or the DHS reports, nor did he spend enough time talking to my son.
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Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:52 pm
double post, and it won't let me delete it
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Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 12:02 am
*huggles Uni*
What can I say that has not been said? You know my prayers are with you and your kids. I want to come up with the solution to your problems but it is so difficult when you can't even rely on the legal system to protect you.
If only one of us was rich and could pay for a proper lawyer for you!
If you were here in Australia, I would say take your story to A Current Affair. I know you said you have tried the media, but have you tried the larger tv stations, not just the local ones?
If only it were not illegal for you to leave the country with the kids. *sigh*
I don't want the kids to go back to him but I don't want you on the run for years, constantly looking over your shoulder. *more sighs*
I guess you have to go to court on the offchance that the custody will be awarded to you and to avoid being arrested or something. But then what if you lose, will the kids just get taken off you there and then? That would be too too awful.
Someone mentioned using the internet. Maybe you could start a website asking for help? There must be a lawyer willing to help, a good one with a kind heart.
You are between a rock and a hard place as they say.
I will continue thinking. The only only glimmer of a thought I have is that the guy who owns a free Sunday newspaper here has a daughter who is a journalist in the U.S. I don't even know which part of the U.S. she is in though.
Does anyone on gaia have a close friend who is a lawyer who can help Uni? crying
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Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 12:10 am
I have wrote in to 20/20 , 60 minutes, and several of the other news talk shows. I am getting ready to do another round of them, just as a refresher to know I'm still out there, that I still need help. I have posted in many web sites trying to find help. I even was working with an attorney in Tennessee that specialized in cases like this, but they wouldn't let him file anything in Iowa, he wasn't authorized to do any work in Iowa, and eventually he just let it drop, claimed his case load in tennessee was too heavy.
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Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2004 9:23 am
T___T I Keep reading over this wishing there were something I can do: I never knew that Iowa law was so a**-backwards. I keep having the same reaction of, "take the kids and run like hell," but I know it won't help.
Keep making a fuss and hopefully someone will help you. I'm sorry you're in such a hard place right now and I wish I could help you somehow. I'll keep you in my thoughts and keep hoping for the best. And I'll keep trying to think if there is something else that can be done that hasn't been suggested yet. I think trying to get National Media coverage is a great way to go and it will be hard to ignore you if you manage to get it. heart
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