Private Roleplay
Characters:
Daigura
Yami
Daigura sat on the street corner, her arms around her knees, resting her forehead against them as well, her shoulders shaking. She couldn't believe she had done that. All those weeks- all those
months- of carefully measured conversations. There was just no way. This had to be a nightmare. A horrible, dreadful nightmare.
And yet she knew even this was too horrible to be a nightmare. Her mind wasn't that mean to her. But apparently her mouth was. Her shoulders shook with another sob.
The whole shop. They all know. And Yami- She collapsed into more crying. It wasn't fair. No one was supposed to ever find out. And now they all had. It just wasn't fair.
Yami stopped when he spotted Diagura at the street corner. He had known for awhile that something was going on between Daigura and him, he even had the feeling Alice knew more then he did, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't figure it out... That was untell a few minutes ago...
The way Daigura had been acting when ever Yami came around began to come clear. He had just wished he had figured it out before it had come to this. Taking a deep breath he walked towards Daigura slowly afraid she may bolt at any moment like she had down in the shop.
"Daigura..." He said softly reaching towards her in hopes that if she did try to run he could stop her.
Daigura immediately cringed away from Yami, looking up and quickly wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
"I'm sorry..." She whispered, turning away and tightening her grip on her legs.
"I didn't mean to embarrass you like that in the shop." Even when she wasn't standing, her knees felt weak being near him. Her heart pounded, too, louder than ever.
He knows, he knows. It seemed to chant to her. She closed her eyes. He couldn't do anything worse to her. It didn't matter. The worst that would happen is that they'd just stay away from each other, and everything would keep going as it had before.
Yami let his had fall down to his side as he thought what to say. After deciding what to say he took a deep breath and began to speak looking down as he did so. He wasn't use to his sort of thing.
"You didn't embaress me Daigura... In fact, it help explain a lot of things.... Like why you've been depressed and withdrawn so much lately..." He sighed getting mad at himself. He should have realized this sooner. Slowly he sat down on the sidewalk and began speaking again.
"You shouldn't have let that happen Dai... I'm not worth it... I was to stupid to realize what was going on and ended up hurting you even more..." At that point he had looked away from her. He had a feeling that if he had realized this things wouldn't have gone as bad as they did.
"You didn't hurt me." Daigura mumbled.
"And you are worth it. But it doesn't matter. Alice is better for you, like she always has been." At this point, Sino decided to pop out of no where and Dai had to drop her knees so the cat could curl up on her lap. She stroked him gently, staring down at the compass rose shaped spot on his forehead. She imagined the blackness growing, swallowing her whole so she wouldn't have to be having this conversation.
Yami shakes his head slightly.
"No Dai... No guys is worth what you've been putting yourself through... As for Alice she was one of the first puppets I meet and if Arkom hadn't been like he is there is a chance that your the one I would have ended up with... To be honest with you I wasn't even really trying to hook up with anyone I was just trying to make friends and the time and kill Arkom..." He watched her pet the cat wondering if it didn't have a 6th sense or something.
"I will tell you something Dai you mean a lot to me and it hurt me to see you withdraw yourself from everyone the way you have been lately..."Daigura swallowed, sniffing.
You wouldn't have ended up with me. I don't deserve you. She thought, but instead she said
"It is better that I stay away from everyone." She replied.
"It's safer that way." Sino flicked his tail and stared up at Yami, his eyes narrowed suspiciously as he studied the puppet.
Yami blinked having expected her to say something else then what she did.
"Why would it be safer if you stayed away from everyone?" He asked looking up at her and away from the cat. He'd figure the cat out later Daigura was more important right now then it.
Daigura turned and stared at Yami for a few minutes, then looked away again.
"Arkom knows about it." She said flatly.
"I am weak- when I'm afraid. But when I'm angry..." Dai sighed.
"Not to be conceited, but I am strong. And I can't control what I do. Arkom tried training me, but after he burnt my shoulder and I broke his leg, he decided we should stop before we killed each other."Yami blinks realizing that sounded similar to himself.
"We're more similar then I realized..." He said half-absently and stares of into the distance his eyes going out of foucus for a bit as he thought. "
The same thing happens to me but for me it isn't I'm getting stronger... For me it's like plungeing into complete darkness and anything around me appears as a monster... Don't tell Arkom this but in most fights I hold back anymore... I'm afraid that my eyes will turn purple and I will no longer be able to tell who is an enemy or an ally..." His eyes came back into focus as he looked at Daigura again.
"If something like that happens Dai I can always try and stop you... It isn't smart to iscolate yourself anymore... It'll just make you weaker emontionaly and your spirit may end up withering away..."Daigura shook her head.
"My spirit is already withered away." She said bitterly.
"I've already traveled the Devil's road, and I can't turn back." Sino growled deep in his throat, his hair rising along his spine. Daigura didn't seem to notice, she just kept petting him.
"Soon, I will not be able to go to the shop."Yami stood up his legs starting to fall asleep on him.
"Dai... No one can travel down that road to far and not turn back... Just for your information if your soul had truely withered you wouldn't be able to feel any emotions really but desspair and anger... I'm not sure how but I'll try and help you any way I can Dai..." He turned to look at her and smiled.
I already feel that for the most part. Daigura thought, but she said nothing. She stayed seated on the ground, stroking Sino, who had calmed down and was purring again.
"It is better if you pretend you don't know anything." Dai muttered.
Yami shakes his head.
"I can't do that Dai... People pretending that they don't know anything, like I have a feeling Arkom did, just helped you get worse and I'm not willing to do that. I want to help you get better Dai not help you get worse..." He said placing his hands in his pockets not really sure what else to do with them.
Daigura slowly stood up, picking Sino up with her, and turned to face Yami, her face void of emotion.
"I cannot get better, and I don't have far to go to get worse." She said simply, then turned and started to walk away with Sino in her arms.
Yami sighed rubbing the back of his head. He wasn't sure how to deal with this but now that he had her talking he wasn't going to give up very easily. Taking a deep breath he followed after her.
"Dai I have a question and I'm sorry if it makes you upset... Why do you keep hurting yourself like this?" He had a feeling he might already know the answer but it was worth a shot because he wasn't running out of ideas... Fast. And if he couldn't help her he was going to blame himself for this for the rest of his life.
Daigura didn't look at him.
"I'm not hurting myself." She said matter-of-factly. Sino put his front paws on her shoulder, peering over it to gaze at Yami, his tail twitching and his eyes narrowed angerly.
Yami ignored the cat.
"I'd call hurting yourself by not seeking help but avoiding it completly... Bottleing all emotions inside yourself... and not to mention giving up on yourself...""That is not hurting myself." Dai mumbled.
"It's doing what needs to be done. Besides, I do not see how it is any different from other people. They all try to accomplish things without help. They all bottle at least some emotions inside. And everyone has given up on themselves one way or another.""I haven't given up on anyone..." He said as he stopped following her and looked up at the sky and shook his head slightly.
"But have it your way Dai... I'm not seeming to help any way..." He mumbbled and sat down on a bench continueing to watch the sky.
Daigura bowed her head slightly and kept walking, staring at her feet and hugging Sino to her chest. He was still staring over her shoulder at Yami.
