|
|
|
|
|
|
|
~(LillithSoulshroud)~ Crew
|
 Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:30 pm
Behind all the laughing,
The joking and smiling,
I never knew,
Why didn't you tell me?
Why didn't i know?
why were you so unhappy?
and why'd you have to go?
You faked it so well
you had everyone believing.
i bet you never thought,
it was me you'd be deceiving.
Now you're gone
and im so confused.
your unhappiness
i never knew...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:31 pm
Sitting in my room
wondering how life has gotten so bad
Seeing nothing ahead but doom
walking from a past of bad.
Watching happy faces
only makes it worse
going to different places
only to be followed by this curse
People tell me, they respect me
its because I'm always cheerful
but if you lived like me
you would never be gleeful
Deep down I hold in all this pain
I have no way to release it
I have nothing but misery to gain
at least it seems thats it.
I hope for the day it gets better
and wish that day comes soon
because I dont want to get wetter
I just want my flowers to bloom
|
|
|
|
|
|
~(LillithSoulshroud)~ Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
~(LillithSoulshroud)~ Crew
|
Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:32 pm
Morbid poetry from my soul
These lonely lines to express my whole
Like cold bullets, Made of steel
Here are my words to show how i feel
Sometimes i cry when im alone
No body knows what i do at home
I wish i could show you all what i see
And a ll the pain that made me, me
All the blood fallen from my heart
These dark shadows that tore me apart
Broken scars, washed in salty tears
Forbidden happiness, Forlonging fears
Never ending pain from a haunting past
Dark nightmares that seem to last
Every day wishing for a chance to be free
Yet crashing again back into reality
Fading alittle with each day that goes by
Silently praying - "Whens my day to die?"
I tried to last so long with the pain
But no matter what - each day is the same
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:33 pm
Laying on the floor
trembling with fear.
hoping to god,
your end is not here.
wash away the blood
your cuts will soon heal.
no one believes,
your pain is real.
but every night
you come close to death.
with each cut,
could be your last breath.
and no one believes
your pain is real.
the blood is gone.
and your cuts soon heal.
but your arms show
your real depression.
your feelings, your hurt.
they show your aggression.
but the blood is washed away
and the cuts soon heal
so no one will belive
how much its all real.....
|
|
|
|
|
|
~(LillithSoulshroud)~ Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
~(LillithSoulshroud)~ Crew
|
Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:35 pm
You lie.
They show the truth.
You smile and they glow.
But your eyes also lie.
For they betray me.
Looking at her.
But see I can't get mad.
Why?
Because my eyes lie worse.
For they hide things.
My emotions.
Feelings.
Your eyes lie,
For I know your feelings for her.
I know you like her.
And that's what hurts.
Knowing,
Feeling.
And seeing what you feel.
It's like broken glass stuck in my side.
Depending on which way I move does it hurt.
This way or that.
It's like a stab in the back.
And you have lying eyes.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:36 pm
Eating Away
I'm Being eaten away
by something i cant control
Its biting, tearing, scratching
I no longer feel whole.
Everyday i wake up
and it all just seems to pass by
And then at night when im in bed
I just lay and think of ways to die.
I think of the life i used to have
before things got so bad
And all the smiles i used to have
before i was so sad.
The smiles i show now are fake
made to cover up whats wrong.
I try to hide my puffy eyes
from crying all night long.
I cry from my wandering thoughts
And things that would make no sense.
I cry because i have been hurting others.
People who arnt usually tense.
So why did things change you ask?
And why am i suddenly so blue?
Truth is, it has been going on all this time
Just recently i have run out of things to do.
So now i am sitting staring at this knife.
Crying over this bloody mess.
But of course i am still here in real life
Just dont know how to deal with stress.
|
|
|
|
|
|
~(LillithSoulshroud)~ Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
~(LillithSoulshroud)~ Crew
|
Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:37 pm
My dearest please forgive me,
for how I long,
Your seductive touch of temptation,
towards the forbidden,
to be able to finally feel free
from life's limits,
Escaping this reality,
Momentarily,
consumed by the calming caress,
of your caring hands calling me into your
eternal embrace,
Only you can make all which is broken,
whole again,
Without you, I'm a hopeless fool,
Searching for a clue,
as to who we are.
Taught to hate in fear of loving you,
doing all the wonderful things
you do for us,
But over these years of my experience,
I've grown more mature,
only to find.
Wisdom, Strength and Beauty,
as true and pure,
as honesty in your face's design,
Now . I'm certain of your certainty,
being divine,
A subtle painfully pleasurable place
Where only we exist,
in a timeless moment,
as we kiss,
feeling the passion in your lips,
pressed against mine,
Taking my breath away,
as you ease my troubled mind,
functioning as the therapy I need,
in my time of
Such love,
giving me the opportunity
to be a piece of the peace,
some spend their entire life seeking,
Only to find inside,
themselves,
inviting me closer
to the truth of a better now,
Someway, somewhere,
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:39 pm
Stand still for one moment.
Can you hear me?
When I whisper your name at night starring into the stars,
Do you feel a cold chill come over you?
Do you feel me like I feel you?
Do you long for my tender kisses for that soft gentle touch?
Or am I just delusional in this madness I once thought was love?
When I pray, do you feel the power of love I am sending?
When I cry, do you feel the pain I am feeling?
Every time you turn me away, do you know how I hurt, do you even care?
Do you ever sit alone and wonder what things might have been like together?
Am I dreaming? Can this ever be real? Are all the odds against me?
Why can I not just let go, why cant I release you from my soul.
Like a bird in a cage I am forever a prisoner of your love,
Although I try, I cannot escape from this torture some call love.
I am at war with myself every day, telling myself why I should forget you, why I should let go, how foolish I am for hanging on
Nothing seems to work. I have tried making myself hate you, to not care
I have reminisced the past, and even dwelled on all the bad memories, all the horrible words we have shared together trying to convince my self you are the enemy,
And yet I am left hanging onto you forever, forever I am bonded to this sore that will never seem to heal.
Some say I am foolish, this is all in my imagination; it will all go away with time
and maybe they are right, maybe that day will come
Can I even control what I imagine or what I dream at night?
So many times I see you in my dreamsand I am sure to see you tonight.
There you are, within reach, yet I cannot hold you, I cannot kiss you as I desire, and I cannot make you love me as I have prayed for so many nights.
Why must this pain continue? Why does this have to carry on like a chapter in my life that never seems to end?
What was it about you that I cannot let go? I have tried sorting through all the memories and conversations we have shared.
I cannot explain this feeling, this burning inside.
There is so much I do not understand. How could I love you so much, yet you hardly know I exist?
You are so careless with your feelings, so nonchalant. I dont know how you do it, How can you not feel my love inside you?
You will forever be there; you are the burden in my heart that will burn me forever.
My head is telling me I am a fool and that the pain must end
My heart tells me love has no end, no boundaries, no rules or fine lines
I close my eyes, and you are always there, whether that is what I want or not, there you are.
It is my cycle of pain that kills me every day, and you are clueless about it
You know nothing about this pain, about the torture
What I wouldnt give to let go, to set you free from my heart.
I have searched and searched to find a way to release this pain, and I am left with nothing
Without your love, I will always be left with nothing.
My heart is like a cold dark room, with no one there but me, all alone
I can hear your voice, I can see your smile, and I can feel your touch
And again, I drift back into my delusion of you and me.
This is a game I cannot win, I cannot overcome this, I want to give up, but there is no point in that, because the feeling I feel will still be there
No matter how defeated I may feel, I cant end this
I have been overcome at what was once my own game
Maybe that is my fault; maybe I brought this on myself
I have turned away all the good ones and played them for fools
Because I couldnt see the good in them, like I couldnt see the bad in you
I have finally gotten what I have dished out to so many
I have gotten my turn, and I am living with that pain everyday
A broken heart, it never heals, it never mends?
Now I see the pain I have once cause to others, because of you..
|
|
|
|
|
|
~(LillithSoulshroud)~ Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
~(LillithSoulshroud)~ Crew
|
Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 10:10 am
to the one who got away-
thanks for leaving me with no breath left in this chest
thanks for the too many nights to count of unrest.
of pain and self-hatred
of loathing and weakness.
i don't know why sooner
i couldn't have seen this.
you were the best thing that came along
and helped me finally finish my song,
the one that sounds like a somber lullaby
that one that still to this day makes me cry.
i'll let go of whatever time we had
the ugly, the hateful, the happy, the sad.
i'm not still in love with you
or the things we always used to do
you've finally become what you needed to be-
a far-off distant memory.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:25 pm
hey dont get mad at meh for posting here but your poems are good
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 8:54 am
Your poetry is really deep, and beautiful. Have you thought of publishing?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 11:18 am
Nope, never thought of publishing. I would have no idea where to go, or what to do or anything!
So its less stressful just to write hehe
|
|
|
|
|
|
~(LillithSoulshroud)~ Crew
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
