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Tags: bipolar,, mental illness, suicide, manic, depression 

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Mother...I'm afraid I could hurt her. Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2

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Hypomanic Poet
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 10:09 am


soadrocksk8er4life
A few days ago, Saturday to be precise, my mom hurt me. We were in a fight about the phone, in the car on our way to the mall. [I needed some new jeans, growing too tall too quickly] and aparently I was talking over her. SO, she took part in grabing me by my hair and bamming my head against the window, than yanking me towards her as I fell from my seat.

Apparently its my fault.

Apparently, she can't control her anger.

When Im the one with the anger issues

And Im the one getting help

And Im the one who goes outside, sits on her hands and crys because she can't stop wanting to hurt those around her.

But, I snap off at my mom, and she's the angry one with no control.

I ******** HATE her. I wan't to rip her limb from limb, just to hear her scream and cry and beg me to stop! I know its wrong, I know its not needed, but I just don't give a flippin' ******** anymore!

I'm sick of people touching me! I'm sick of people HURTING me!

I tried talking to my boyfriend about it.

He said that he didn't wan't to hear me b***h.

Than my mom turns around and says:

'Next time I do something like that, call the police. But keep in mind that foster homes are worse. Also, its alot better than when James was around.'

I screamed at his name, stepping back into the hallway. She followed, obviously angry at my reaction. Soon we were in the kitchen, and she continued to b***h about how much I stress her. Before I knew it my hands were over the knifes that sat up on the counter. I grabed the biggest one there was. She just looked at me, and I to her.

Suddenly the hate was replaced with sadness and I began to sob, crying harder than ever. Droping the knife, I crumpled to the ground and cried. I was there for four hours, and she just left me. Maybe wen't off to read her book.


And that night, she has the nerv to snuggle up to me. But Im so hurt I can't deny her arms. Im so hurt I can't not wan't to be loved, not to be forgiven for what I was about and ready to do.

But I can't take this anymore.


*Hugs* I'm sorry to hear that. If I lived near you I'd let you stay with me untill your mum stops being a retard. heart

And Dark Pyro does have good advice smile
PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 10:04 am


that's hhorrible.i don't have any advice but i really hope you're ok
HUGS

shamanfan13

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