Ladies and Gentlemen! May I have your attention please?

[Tentacle Girl Miruru]

I have sailed the world
beheld its wonders
from the dardinells
to the mountains of Peru
but there's no place like London

No there's no place like London.

Mr. Todd?

You are young, life has been kind to you.
You will learn.

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a pig could spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the privileged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lower zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed...
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wonderous as Peru
but there's no place like London!

Is everything alright Mr. Todd?

I beg your indulgence antony, my mind is far from easy
and these once familiar streets i feel shadows everywhere.

There was a barber and his wife
and she was beautiful...
a foolish barber and his wife.
She was his reason and his life...
and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous.
And he was . . . nieve.
There was another man who saw
that she was beautiful...
A biased vulture of the law
who, with a gesture of his claw
removed the barber from his plate!
then there was nothing but to wait!
And she would fall!
So soft!
So young!
So lost and oh so beautiful!

And the lady sir did she succomb?

Oh that was many years ago
I doubt if anyone would know

I'd like to thank you antony,
if you hadn't spotted me I'd be lost on the ocean still.

Will I see you again?

You might find me if you like
Around Fleet Street I wouldn't wonder

Until then my friend.

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and it's filled with people who are filled with s**t!
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!  

[hinotoriii]

*gasp* who bribed lil Toby with one of my homemade pies hey?
Mr T. you didn't did ya?? Oh lord I don't know what I'm going to do with the two of you, always hatin' each other rolleyes

Oh well, I'm surprized anyone eats my pies. Because to be honest with you, I believe there the worst pies in London. I should know, I make 'em!

*door bell goes*
*gasp*

A customer!
Wait! What's your rush?
What's your hurry?
You gave me such a...
fright! I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can't ya sit?
Sit ya down!
Sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks.
Did ya come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if my head's a little vague.
Ugh!
What is that?
But you'd think we had the plague.
From the way that people
keep avoiding!
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you I can hardly blame them!
These are probably the worst pies in London.
I know why nobody cares to take them!
I should know!
I make them!
But good? No...
The worst pies in London...
Even that's polite! The worst pies in London!
If you doubt it take a bite!

Ugh!

Is that just, disgusting?
You have to concede it!
It's nothing but crusting!
Here drink this, you'll need it.
The worst pies in London
And no wonder with the price of meat
what it is
when you get it.
Never thought I'd live to see the day.
Men'd think it was a treat
findin' poor
animals
what are dyin' in the street.
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop.
Does a business, but I notice something weird.
Lately, all her neighbors cats have disappeared.
Have to hand it to her!
What I calls,
enterprise!
Poppin' pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick.
No denying times is hard, sir!
Even harder than the worst pies in London.
Only lard and nothing more-
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting!
And tastes like...we'll pity.
A woman alone...with limited wind
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir
Times is hard.
Times is hard.

Isn't that a room up there? Over the shop?
If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out? Should bring in something...

Up there? Huh, no one'll go near it.
People think it's haunted.
You see years ago something happened, something not very nice.


((OOC, sometimes, my lyrics may come from the stage show, so they might be different from the movie lyrics))  

[hinotoriii]

*backing away*

Oh now Mr. T I was only thinking of what was best for you!

And no no not lied, no I never lied.
Just said she took poision, never said that she died.