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 Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:17 pm
She closed her eyes to block out the darkness that surrounded her like a suffocating scarf, but it still pierced through her thin eyelids. She scrambled, bug like, to the far wall of the small closet, only to pace to the other side. She was a scared cat in a unwelcome cage. After what seemed like hours she stopped her pacing to lay curled up on the floor in a fetal position. She held her head in her hands gently almost like she would a child, but her fingers dug into her hair, her knuckles turning white in her fearful grip.
Soon the thing she dreaded more then the darkness or the closed in space reached out to touch her. A ghostly hand reached out to stroke her tangled hair, softly like a mother’s loving touch. Soon more hands reached out to pet her, their own puppy to play with and praise. This happened every time she was in total darkness. They were like moths to a lamp, only they flocked towards the dark.
Soon joining their hands where the cool and haunting voices. This was new, they never spoke to her before and this new element scared her even more if that was possible.
“He says she is the one,” a cool and haunting voice said near her ear and she desperately scooted away from it.
“Yes, we’ve all waited a long time for this” said another bone chilling voice above her and she whimpered calling out for anyone to help her.
Soon a cool hand gripped her ankle solidly. “let’s bring her to him now.” the words sent fear in her so great that Tera feinted not even putting up a struggle as ice cold hands dragged her away.
Tera woke up her face pressed against the cool dirt. It was now dark outside the moonless night letting out only light from stars that were hidden by the trees. She heard the cool voices magnified from having more added to the chorus. She whimpered and clamped her eyes shut not willing to open them and see how many where around her.
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:18 pm
She cringed away as the hand of a gory ghost stroked her hair. “Don’t worry my dear” the voice said trying to calm her down, though it was far from soothing.
“it will all be over soon, you have nothing to worry about” he let out a cruel and evil laugh that made her think she had much to worry about and looked up to end up staring into the hallow eyes of Old Man Reeves.
Tera had never knew him personally but she heard his old story. There was a ghost tale that the kids all told to scare each other. It was about an old woodcutter who lived in the forest a hundred years ago. He was a crazy old man while alive and ended up dieing from a tree falling on him. The story would go on to say that he gathered an army of ghosts to terrorize the living.
Tera looked around her at the hundreds of ghosts surrounding her. It appeared that the old ghost tale had some merit to it. She desperately scooted away from him only to be stopped by a few ghosts behind her. Normally she would go right through them, but with the lack of light around them the ghosts had the power to do as they wished, this included becoming solid enough to touch the living.
In front of Tera was a black fire, that gave off no light. It was an ominous thing and she avoided looking at it as she heard Reeves begin to speak.
“ we have waited fifty years since our last mistake” he bellowed out his voice echoing through the trees. “fifty years has past since I mistakenly killed that child, when we could have used her to fulfill our dream”
The ghosts around them all roared in protest to their long wait as Reeves grinned and pointed at Tera who was about ready to wet herself she was so scared. “But we wait no longer! The timing is finally right for use to sacrifice the necessary child.”
Tera let out a moan of fear at the sound of a sacrifice. She was not ready to die, she was still a child after all, so much to live for. Ghosts swirled happily around her, making gruesome faces to scare her even more. Soon Reeves’ face swam back into her view.
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:19 pm
“Are you ready to give your body up for us to be reborn child?” he asked in a sneer. “Ancient texts state that a child with your abilities will be the key to eternal life for us who have left the realm of the living,” he grabbed her arm and began to drag her towards the fire.
“What is one life for the rebirth of hundreds?” He asked loudly to the jeering crowd of specters.
“STOP!” yelled a small voice, the source unknown until Sadie came walking from the crowd. All of the ghosts turned to look at the child ghost.
“What do you want?” Reeves snapped in annoyance at the small girl, then a look of recognition ran across his face. “You!” he sneered, “Do you plan on stopping me from doing to this girl what I did to you?” he asked mockingly. Sadie stood there not saying a word simply looking at Tera meaningfully.
“Do you think a mere child could defeat hundreds of us ghosts?” he mocked, this time Sadie turned to him ready to reply.
“Just because my body is in the form of a child, does not mean that I am one” she challenged. “It is not your age, or appearance that decides weather you’re an adult or a child, it is how you perceive the world.” she again shifted her glance at Tera but made no other move to do anything.
“It is this child that will bring us salvation, for that is what she is. A child, and that is what is needed for the ceremony.” he lifted Tera off the ground and began to recite, “A child with the gift of sight others don’t have” he said mockingly and proceeded to throw Tera in the fire.
Everything seemed to go in slow motion for Tera after this. One minute she was flying in the air thinking she was going to die, the next Sadie’s words hit her like a ton of bricks. As she flew the few feet over to the fire she looked over at Sadie, just because she was young did not mean she was a child, just because her mother looked down upon her did not mean she was inferior. Children acted like children, and Sadie was no longer going to act like that, she would be an adult from now on.
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:20 pm
Unfortunately when this realization came to her she had hit the fire already, but she was prepared to die, for she was no longer a child with the rest of her life ahead of her. No, she was an adult ready to face what was ahead, but the next thing that happened surprised her. She landed in the fire but it did not harm to her body. The flames licked at her skin but left no marks. She turned to look at the astonished faces of the ghosts and saw Sadie’s proud smile.
“He needed a child, but you are an adult” she said clearly to the frustration of Old Man Reeves. “You can go home safely now Tera” she said as Tera walked out of the fire.
“What about you?” She asked wide eyed as the ghosts turned angrily on Reeves. It seems they blamed him for their missed chance.
“I’ll be fine” Sadie said giving her a childish grin “after all I have an eternity to play.” she said and turned to run and disappear through the trees.
Tera did the same, she ran home faster then she ever ran before. To her surprise her mother was on the porch waiting for her, not with harsh words but with tears. It seems her mother was worried about the missing girl. Tera smiled and ran to her mother for a hug, she was home and safe.
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:21 pm
well there you go, im open to all critisism as i know that all stories can be revised. its shorter and less detailed then i would like since i had to shorten it for class so it may see like i could add more in places.
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 10:48 am
YAAAAY!!!! I applaud!!! *Claps!!* I loved it!! Though it was a bit morbid, maybe a little weird but it held a good plot. The story went straight to the point. The details were good but you could set the mood a little more at the beginning or when Tera is thrown into the fire. And I get this was for a class (I hope you got an A) and for a short story this is GREAT!!! All my short stories are 4 to 10 pages long. Not very short huh?
All in all.... I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!
(There should be a clapping smiley)
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Posted: Sun Oct 21, 2007 10:52 am
thank you very much, i kw that lots could be added for imagry and explination but i was pressed for time and space. so its not as descriptive as i would like
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Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 12:38 pm
But it doesn't need to be perfect. maybe a little tweaking... or whatever you think would work well with it. That was very good for not a lot of time and space. By the by, where'd you get the Idea for this?
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:15 am
this one just came to me, most of my horror stories (tho this was more of just suspence i sappose could be horror with more tweaking) anywho most of my horror stories come from my own personal nightmares. i have night terrors freaquently (those dont help since i cant remember them) but i put the feeling of fear i have felt after a night terror into regular nightmares i've had.
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 6:45 pm
eh..... I can't write down my nightmares.... not that I dream any more. I don't get enough sleep. But I would always have this dream about the "Scream" dude coming and killing my family (which is big). And then robots came and took over their bodies, and were trying to kill me. Not very pleasant for an 8 year old kid huh?
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:17 am
when i was little i always had the same dream over and over (among other dreams as well) it was this figure skin greyish in color wearing all black, black trench coat, hunters hat, boots and leather pants. his hair was stringy and reminded me of worms. the only color about him was his eyes that were bright red. He's the reason im afraid of birds cuz he always had a black crow or some kind of bird around him with red eyes. it got to the point wherei saw him when iw as awake and scared to go near birds ect
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 2:14 pm
Ah..... your making me shiver. UGH! I've never had anything like that, but everything I've dreamed is either so stupid/funny or something that I'm always afraid will happen. Like how I'm afraid that all the bugs I kill will come back and get me tenfold. Or like how I can never sleep in the dark in the same room as a doll that is not porcelain. I shiver again!!!! AHHH...
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:14 pm
lol i guess im weird then cuz your not the first person to say that my drreams give them the shivers. its no wonder i get little sleep with the nightmares i have
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 7:52 pm
I just stay up to late and sleep during the day... soo my sleep if F***ed but I still have a perfect concept of time.....odd..... sweatdrop sweatdrop
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