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 Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:54 pm
A turning point.
I'm waiting on the outside looking for a way in.
What can I do?
What can I say?
It kills me everytime I dont see you,
And lifted up when I can make a way.
What is the matter with me?
I can't think.
I can't breathe.
I can't sleep.
Even if this is as far as I get,
It was worth the while.
For a chance to see you I could walk a thousand miles.
And that's it.
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 9:25 am
A little random "poem" I wrote two days ago when thinking about the guy that I like... and the things gonig on in my life...
Words consume my mind
Never releasing the treacherous hold.
Yet none of them can explain feelings of this immortal silk
The material that scratches and soothes simultaneously
As I run my slender fingers upon it
The hidden calluses on the tip of them catch onto the silk
My cautious eyes reveal the trap
A benevolent arachnid draws near
--Terror overtakes the mantra echoing through my mind--
It caresses my skin with the words that escaped from the crevices of my mind
Tenderness overflows from the demon of my heart
...and rain falls upon the unchangeable silk...
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Parari~Flight~ Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 5:53 pm
My thought is scrambled.
My life is not my own.
What can I say when You have blessed me with this everlasting gift of mercy?
I'm calling on effort.
Trying to do things on my own.
Enough of this failed effort, I am going to just have to trust in You.
I talk to You and feel Your breath.
I'm wasting time away from You.
Teach me in your goodness, God, and let me have this blessing that You're offering.
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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 6:05 am
Hmmm hopefully i can get some honest critisim before i get kicked out of this guild...
i am amist of writing my new 'book' or poetry (obviously the first is in my signiture) so i might as well try to get some feed back on some of the elements before i set them in the proverbial stone of PDF format.
New Media Love
Still,
playing Russian roulette
with my play list.
i wish i had cut my hands off
breaking that mix tape
you had made for us.
Stop.
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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 12:40 pm
Why would you get kicked out of the guild?
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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 2:12 pm
Daykurfin Why would you get kicked out of the guild? Last time i tried my hand at being in a Poetry Guild i had trouble coping with the self rightsious staff so i asked to leave, not exactly getting kicked out but still...
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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 6:25 pm
Alights the songbird atop the branch.
Quiet and elusive.
To dawn now flying, after prey,
The outcome inconclusive.
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:18 pm
Holding on to you,
Never letting go,
Our souls connected,
Never going to separate,
You, my dear, are my love,
We were meant to be,
No one could ever replace you,
My love,
No word can describe my love, my passion, my everything for you,
You made me complete,
Seeing you makes my heart jump with happiness,
One kiss, and my world seems more clear,
My love,
One tear, I will wipe away,
One fear, I will chase away,
One pain, I will heal,
One insecurity, I will secure,
One smile, I will love
One laugh, I will die for,
One hug, I will melt
One kiss, then I know we were meant to be,
My love
This is the first poem I've ever written.
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Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:27 am
It's rather good and rather great,
That Dayfurkin's become captain as of late.
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Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:56 pm
Jehosaphat It's rather good and rather great, That Dayfurkin's become captain as of late.
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Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 3:32 am
Bewizarded Jehosaphat It's rather good and rather great, That Dayfurkin's become captain as of late. Thank you for that, But I say you're fat. Ooh! Insulting poetry! What! What! What!
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Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 8:25 am
I live among poets and writers of prose,
and yet to you all, a small rhyme that goes
for not very long, and is not very good,
but it's still my poem, and I did all that I could.
<3
(Well, I didn't actually. >.> I just made it up then.)
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Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 12:34 pm
I think I'm going to start reposting poems people have put in different topics and the comments with them to help reduce the clutter.
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Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 12:39 pm
Antigone Tarbe You have sad eyes. You cant hide them behind that cigarette. With every breath, you're smoking the world in, Smoking me in. And as you exhale, The smoke spreads itself into the sky and Borrows the wind's voice. Endure it says. Smile Pretend Witness it says. Every puff of smoke is another link in your chain. Well, I wrote this a few months ago.
All comments/advice are appreciated. smile CanadianKitten It's alittle confusing, but it has very good imagery. I like the tone in it too. Very nice 3nodding That kitty is very cute...I like that as well blaugh
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Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 12:48 pm
Crimson_Innocence I'm not much of a poet, but I wanted to make a poem for my friend's 14th birthday. sweatdrop We only see each other during the summer at camp, but we're best friends. So the point of this is that I made a poem, and I need help. I need help with puncuation, mking it flow better, anything! Okay? Here it is... Highlight of My SummerIt's hard to believe We met two years ago It'll be three before we know The thing about camp Is the bond built in one week It always gets me How it makes others seem so meek When summer comes around again We'll play four-square in the sun And no matter what We're sure to have lots of fun But that's not the best thing Not even seeing friends and making new The highlight of my summer Will be getting to see you. Alright, that's it. I'd love it if you could help me! Thank you. heart Parari~Flight~ Crimson_Innocence I'm not much of a poet, but I wanted to make a poem for my friend's 14th birthday. sweatdrop We only see each other during the summer at camp, but we're best friends. So the point of this is that I made a poem, and I need help. I need help with puncuation, mking it flow better, anything! Okay? Here it is... Highlight of My SummerIt's hard to believe We met two years ago It'll be three before we know The thing about camp Is the bond built in one week It always gets me How it makes others seem so meek When summer comes around again We'll play four-square in the sun And no matter what We're sure to have lots of fun But that's not the best thing Not even seeing friends and making new The highlight of my summer Will be getting to see you. Alright, that's it. I'd love it if you could help me! Thank you. heart Let's see... Punctuation is okay... it doesn't really matter in poetry; it just depends on what you're trying to convey through the punctuation. It also has a lot to do with rhythm and the way that it's read. Hmm... I noticed that your rhyme scheme changes every verse. Did you mean to do that? Try reading your poem out loud to see if you like the effects. The 3rd line of the first stanza sounds awkward, especially the sentence structure of "It'll be three before we know." It kind of jars. I know that you were trying to make it rhyme but... I dunno. It's weird. 2nd stanza, last line- "How it makes others seem so meek." That seems really ambiguous and like the last line of the last stanza, a little bit out of place. 3rd stanza's flow is ok. Nothing bad in particular stands out. I just don't like the common-ish words like "sun" and "fun." But that's just me. In the last stanza, you might want to put a period or something at the end of the second line; otherwise, when you read it out loud, it goes into the third line. I think the problems can be recognized and seen just by reading your poem out loud. Other than that... it's a good start biggrin
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