Welcome to Gaia! ::

Thankees! whee I sorta meant for it to turn out that way, but at the beginning I wasn't sure WHAT it was going to be. Then my muse took over and, well, that was that, it was bitter and a little dark. *yawn* It also doesn't feel quite finished. Anyone care to add a last verse? [Same rhyme scheme, if you please. mrgreen ]

Ah - here's another one..

___________________________

-Taking Flight -


Walking in a deep depression,
Look up, see a loaded gun.
Such confusion, true emotion,
Panicking, you start to run.

Growing, growing, never stopping,
Living, living, then we die.
Calming, calming peaceful drifting,
Floating, foating, the we fly.

Dare to look back, gun is aiming,
Take a deep breath, trigger clicks.
Hurry, you've got to run faster,
Times is wasting, seconds tick.

Growing, growing, never stopping,
Living, living, then we die.
Calming, calming peaceful drifting,
Floating, foating, the we fly.

Who will help you? It's all over -
Bullet hits you in the back.
Sharp pain dulls to intense throbbing,
Eventually the world goes black.

Growing, growing, never stopping,
Living, living, then we die.
Calming, calming peaceful drifting,
Floating, foating, the we fly.

Coldness turns just slightly warmer,
Embrace the ever growing light.
Slowly floating, drifting upward,
Suddenly, take endless flight.

Growing, growing, never stopping,
Living, living, then we die.
Calming, calming peaceful drifting,
Floating, foating, the we fly.

I liked the poems too. smile Great job.

Love, Life, ans Answers.

A life without love
is no life at all,
but an endless journey
to find it.
For what is love without beauty
but a faceless
human being,
searching for life?
What is life
but a question
with an answer,
buried alive long ago?

*sips hot chocolate* I don't like coffee, but thanks. *clears throat and pulls out well worn piece of paper, smoothing out the creases and closing his eyes, reciting from heart anyway*

----

Supposed To Be

supposed to be

what kind of words are those?
the connotation is already bad.

supposed to be

implies that something isn't right,
that something isn't good enough,
that something...is wrong.

supposed to be

pure,
perfect,
without flaw;
but nothing is as it's

supposed to be.

supposed to be

right

supposed to be

wrong

supposed to be

white

supposed to be

black

supposed to be

something I'm not.

supposed to be

happy with who I am,
and my place in life.

supposed to be

good and
thoughtful and
proud.

supposed to be

the words make no sense anymore.
but then again, nothing really does.

supposed to be

different and
an individual and
stand up and fight for my beliefs.
then they say you're wrong, that you're

supposed to be

someone else.

supposed to be

if I'm

supposed to be

so righteous and
so pure,
then why do I feel so empty inside?
I'm

supposed to be

friendly and
happy and
wise.
I'm not

supposed to be

sad and
lonely and
dark.

supposed to be

responsible.
why's that?
that just because people get older they're

supposed to be

less stupid and
less immature and
less irresponsible?
how can anyone say what someone is

supposed to be

when they aren't even themselves?

supposed to be

naive and
innocent and
happy when you're young,
but where has all of it gone?
the world isn't really as it's

supposed to be.

everything is tainted,
all the views are twisted.
nothing is the same anymore but
people still say this is how it's

supposed to be.

why?
why anything?
why life?
why earth?
why names?
why sounds?
why does everything need a

supposed to be?

Yeah... stare I know it sticks out like a sore thumb. But I wanted something in there about how it just sounded bad.... And at the moment I liked the wrod connotation. sweatdrop

That was abrupt. The ending, I mean. It just suddenly went from "I let you go" to "I was wrong." There wasn't any thought connecting that. I dunno. I guess as a sometimes fiction writer, I want some back story to be supporting the poem.

The other thing that bugs me is the misspelling of two words. The first error was funny; I seriously thought that was what it said, but then I looked at it again and said, "WHAT?!" Soul ain't spelled "sole"...
The other one was probably just a typo (last line, "cant")

I liked the first three lines, but the fourth line just left me kind of confused. I liked "futile" sweatdrop

I think what I'd like to see is more details, perhaps?
...

The Mexican


He stares at me with pleading eyes.
Beautiful flowers in his hands,
and I don't know how he does it,
but they seem to bloom.

In his eyes,
I see his past, present and future.

Escaped the land of poverty,
to come to the land of the free.
He saw that there was
little difference between the two.
He'll make it to
ripe old age,
still wondering why he left.
Still holding
those blooming roses in his hands.

Wide eyed he stares at me.
"Help me!" he pleads with his gaze.

There is little I can do,
close to nothing, actually.

But I smile
and say, "I'll take
two roses please."




by Liz DeJesus




Liz DeJesus
Author of Note to Self
http://lizdejesus.tripod.com

I like the poem...not so crazy about the title, seeing as there is no actual 'stabbing' involved. But I like the imagery very much. Congratulations, you wrote a decent poem! biggrin


Liz DeJesus
Note to Self
http://lizdejesus.tripod.com
http://thecompositionmag.tripod.com