We believe that soon, very soon, all of the evil's in the world (Glenn Beck, Justin Bieber, Confederates, ect.) will band together and form a super power with a force so great that it could enslave humanity, and maybe some other species too.

We also believe that the only way to stop this from happening is by devoting your life to the Sad Clown, an ancient God that descended onto Earth more than seventy years ago.

The powers of the Sad Clown have been known since it's arrival on Earth, and they've been depicted in countless bad paintings and cheesy figurines for the last few decades.

Recently, more and more of these paintings and horrifically tacky artifacts have been surfacing in thrift stores, garage sales, and old ladies homes across the nation, and we believe that this is a sign. A sign which could only mean one thing.

Join the cult now, and be saved.