Cool s**t:

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http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/posting.php
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Dear
[_] Clueless n00b
[_] Lamer
[_] Flamer
[_] Pervert
[_] Sexist
[_] Spammer
[_] Racist
[_] Idiot
[_] Dumbass
[_] Troller
[_] "Expert"
[_] Wannabe
[_] Waste of Life
[_] Other:
[_] All of the above
you are being flamed because:
[_] You made an "Off-Topic" post.
[_] You obviously don't know anything about the topic at hand.
[_] You started a pointless thread.
[_] You bumped a pointless thread.
[_] Your post contained nothing but crap.
[_] You can't spell more than 3 words right.
[_] Your awful markup made the post unreadable.
[_] You made a useless assumption.
[_] You posted ALL IN CAPS FOR NO APPARENT REASON.
[_] YoU tYpEd SoMeThInG lAmE lIkE tHiS.
[_] You say you're "1337".
[_] You posted a topic that's been posted 23 times already.
[_] You're posting something illegal and will be banned anyway.
[_] You're asking for something illegal.
To repent, you must:
[_] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're doing.
[_] Stab yourself in the eye with a pen.
[_] Give up your internet account.
[_] Eat paint chips for the next 6 months.
[_] Tell your mommy to up your medication.
[_] Jump into a bathtub with a toaster (plugged in of course!).
[_] Actually post something relevant.
[_] Read and memorize the rules.
[_] Leave these boards forever.
[_] Print your home phone number.
[_] Simply shut up.
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[_] Blow me
[_] Get a life
[_] Never post again
[_] I pity your dog
[_] Your IQ must be 7
[_] Take your rejection somewhere else
[_] STHU & GTHO
[_] Learn to post
[_] Go jump into some industrial equipment
[_] All of the above
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The preceding Forum Form Flame was constructed for
use on people not worthy of actual thought or effort in being
flamed. People so STUPID that a simple copy/paste and a few check
marks is all that's necessary to properly relay the flamer's
contempt for the flame.
Brought to you by BlackLightning.
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LETTER TO A MOTHER
A mother enters her daughter's bedroom and sees a letter over the bed. With
the worst premonition, she reads it with trembling hands:
Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I
have eloped with my new boyfriend. I'll admit I guess I was attracted to
him for all the wrong reasons, with all his piercing, tattoos, and his big
motorcycle. I know what we have together is true love, real passion and he is so nice to me.
But not only that Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very
happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasies we may want. In the meantime, we'll pray for the scientists to find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it.
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Just please try to be happy for me. Some day we'll visit so you can get to know your grandchildren, I promise.
Your daughter, Judith
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm at the neighbor's house. I just
wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer...
I love you