Welcome to Gaia! ::

1. hello
2. what
2. rules
4. survey
5. "sexy _" raffle
6. art contest
7. russian roulette
8. dice game
9. jousting
10. dicross
11. high score
12. pictrionary
13. recipe contest
14. limerick contest
15. credits

1. Be excellent to each other.
2. Obey the TOS. Traditionally, we like to let people toe the line a little, but don't actually do anything illegal, alright?
3. Each person may win up to two dickens from this event, except for anyone who already owns one of the whited out kids in the second post, each of them can only win one other dickens.

It is a wide, mad world out there, one full of both untold wonder and unbelievable twistedness. A world of love, scenic splendor, and creatures great and small; a world of death, turmoil, and suffering. A world... where people like to sexualize a lot of weird things.

The results usually land somewhere on a sliding scale between hilarious and horrifying, which is exactly the kind of thing we like around here, so here’s the deal. We want you to go out into the internet and search for anything prefaced with the word sexy, for example “sexy hot dog” or “sexy taxidermy”. Tell us what you searched for, and share the best (worksafe!) image you find with us, and you’ll get entered into the raffle! You can enter up to three times with the form below. We’ll roll two winners at the conclusion of the event.

Russian Roulette is sort of like a raffle in reverse. You post the code to sign up and get placed on the raffle list, and then at the end whoever's running it rolls numbers off the list, eliminating players until there's only one left. Usually there's some fun flavor text involved, like one time I saw one that was written like a big paintball fight, and that was pretty cool! I don't feel like shooting anyone today though, so this one's gonna be about enticing these small children to stay with you. Part of the form will be an item you will attempt to bribe them with, and this can be anything you want that isn't anything too super gross. I'll roll this with the other raffles at the end of the month.

IMPORTANT!! Please leave the code tags in the form intact so that I can be a lazy ******** and copy it wholesale into my list! If you don't do it right, I won't fix it for you, so if you really want in on this, please follow directions.

Here's your code!

d**k JOUSTING! Another iteration of the ill-fated battle royale game that we’re trotting out just to annoy the piss out’ve everyone. No, just kidding, you don’t have to kill each other for our amusement this time. We’ll do all the killing* (rolling) for you! All you need to provide us with is an image of the d**k you’re entering in the tourney - one per gaia user - and a catchphrase/battle cry for them to shout at the start of the fight. Then we’ll arrange you all randomly, with perhaps a hint of bias based on dicks owned, and quickly do some extremely simple battle rolls to determine who wins each fight.

Don’t actually own a dickens to enter into the tourney? That’s alright! We’ve got some seasoned veterans that we’ve randomly pulled off the streets who are more than willing to risk life and limb* for whoever will bet on them. Our charitable mercenaries are Mr. Orgy, SASSparilla, Shuttlecock, Tippy, and Be Kind Rewind! You can use one of them in your form. More than one person is allowed to use each rental fighter, but, naturally, only one person can use each non-rental d**k, that person being their owner.

Last d**k standing takes home a babben for you to care for! It’s not THAT different a skillset, really, it makes sense, I swear.

*Please note that none of the dicks will actually die or be grievously injured - unless they’re your d**k and you want them to be, I guess, but that’s all on you.

To enter, post this form any time before 10 PM EST on the 15th! If you want some fancy text formatting on your catchphrase/battle cry, please put it in a code tag so we can be lazy and copy/paste it.

This game is relatively simple - OR IS IT?? - wait, no, it actually is. We want you to go play Nanaca Crash!!, a game which was, I think, loosely based on a porn game, that I used to play as a kid. To enter, take a screencap of your high score and post it here. That’s it! The person with the highest score by the end of the event wins. You can submit new high scores until the end, too, so don’t be too upset if your game isn’t that good at first.

Here's your code!

I know we're kind of a silly and gross shop sometimes, but hey, everyone likes to eat, right? Everyone likes to eat really nice things, especially. So, here's a recipe contest! I want you to share some really tasty frickin foods, and whichever of you makes me the most hatefully envious of the foods in your life wins this child. Cool? Cool.

Alternatively, if you'd like to get creative, you can write a recipe a dickens would use! Things to note: they live in a world coated in the wreckage of a human society, mostly full of garbage, and cannibalism is socially acceptable. Dickens can also eat a really surprising variety of things. Have fun with that!

Here's your code.