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Dear Diary,
Mortals are a simple and severly unstable source of chaos. This race seems to delight in greed and pride only to be crushed by the socialist black president. I am here for observational purposes only consequently i cannot take over until proper reinforcements arrive. Though while on this pathetic rock i have come to like this thing they call "heavy metal" and cheesecake. And the earthen women quite intrigue me with their emotions and monthly shopping sprees. I ran into a doberman the other day. I am now missing a part of my foot, caught it under a car tire. Found a nice leather jacket the other day........stole it from Mel Gibson......whoever that is........some earth god i assume. And this other god i hear about......oh what is their name......"Avenged Sevenfold" I quite like them.........and talking with a British accent. In conclusion, my overall diagnosis of the planet.....
A JUMBLE OF PATHETIC PRIMAL INFERIOR CARNAL BEASTS THAT SPEAK!!!!
P.S. I'd tap that
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