"If your face gets any closer, someone who isn't supposed to be in this scene is going to come over there and kick your a**, D****t!"~Kyon, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"Super size me!"~Kyon, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Crispin Freeman ROCKS! XD)

"I have no interest in ordinary humans. If there are any aliens, time travelers, sliders, or espers here, come join me. That is all." ~Haruhi, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

"I'll solve math equations with my right hand while writing down names with my left. Then, I'll take this potato chip and EAT!"
~Light Yagami, Death Note

"We're nothing like God. Not only do we have limited powers, but sometimes we're driven to become the devil himself..."
~Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Trigun

"I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. Dont hesitate to call."
~Vash the Stampede, Trigun

Naruto posing as The Rower: "Hey Jiraya, Wanna go rowing with me?"
Jiraya: "Oh Hells Yes!"
~ Naruto the Abridged Series

"Love and Peace!" - Vash (Trigun)

"... if you let the fly live, the spider is going to die. You can't save both without one suffering.." - Knives (Trigun)

" Someone once told me...that watching the birds made them want to go on a journey..." - Kino ( Kino's Journey (TV))

"Though I did not know the place,
I set out for the land of my dreams
Having arrived at the land of my dreams,
I found I did not know the place." ~Kino's Journey

"...In America!" ~Bandit Keith, Yugioh the Abridged Series

"Attention Mother!" ~Random henchman, Yugioh the Abridged Series

Evil Bakura: "Wait a minute if these are all the YGO villians, then where are those stupid motorcycle riding freaks? You know the ones from season four."
Marik: "You mean the season nobody liked?"
Evil Bakura: "That's the one!"
Marik: "I didn't invite them. They are just a bunch of dorks."
Evil Bakura: "For once we agree on something."
~Yugioh the Abridged series ep. Marik's Evil Council of Doom

"If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding!!"
~Cranky old school cafateria lady, Yugioh the Abridged series ep. 21

(said/read with an Schwarzenegger accent)
" 'Chapter 1: Cherry Blossom Romance Forever.
You have to get out of the village, said Jimmy. The Cherry Blossoms are comming and they're trying to take my tortillas! Get that cow out of the way!"
MOOO
~Naruto the Abridged series ep. 11

"And I'm Garra...of the FUNK!" (Beat boxing light effects and high pitched sung "Garra of the Funk!" wink
~Naruto the Abridged Series ep. 11

Garra: "I'll let you pass, if you beat me in D-D-R."
village ninja: "DDR but I.."
Garra: "GO!" ... "The Funk wasn't with you, DIE!" ..."Okay how about you two?"
village ninja #2: "Sorry we only play Beat Mania"
Garra: "You guys are so F***** dead."
~Naruto the abriged series

"Death Note: Colonel Mustard with the lead pipe in the library"
~Anime T-shirt

L:"Good News Guys. I've hired a new detective to work on the Kira Case. He should be here any moment."
Chief Yagami: "But L, we've already paid you a gratuitous amount of money to do it yourself."
Detective Conan: "Ahh, but Chief. I've already closed this case. I've investigated the lead, read all the files, followed all the footprints, cross referenced all the witnesses..."
L (thinking): "This rookie has some serious issues."
Chief Yagami: "So you solved the case. Well, let's here it then."
Detective Conan: "Heh Heh. Prepare yourself, Chief Yagami, for one truth prevails that Kira is none other than...OH! [Suffers Heart Attack & Dies]
L: "Ah *****, looks like i'm back on the case."
~Death Note the Abridged Series ep. 5

Aizawa (tired voice): "We've been watching anime for 12 hours. I, I think I might die."
~Death Note The Abridged Series ep. 5

L: "Ahh..Matsuda, have you found the channels yet?"
Matsuda (sleepy & tired voice): "Ahhh, umm, Bleach is on channel 59. Um, Fullmetal Alchemist is on 43. And, um ah, Naruto is on 38."
~Death Note The Abridged Series ep. 5

Mogi (looking around & thinking excitedly): "Ice Cream!? Ice Cream!? Gimmie, gimmie!"
~Death Note The Abridged Series ep. 5

Naruto: "Hey mister, who are you?"
Gendo (country accent): "I'm Gendo."
Shikamaru: "Where's Hayate?"
Gendo (angry): "He took a vacation to the island of SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Naruto: "Well, alot of people must go there. I get poscards from there all the time!"
~Naruto The Abridged Series ep. 19

Gendo (country accent): "Okay, now to tell you who you're fighting."
Naruto: "Where's the computer?"
Gendo (country accent): "F*** the computer. I'm using this napkin I keep in my shirt."
~Naruto the abridged series ep. 19

Dosu: "Hey, Gaara. I need some kitty litter. Can I borrow some sand?"
Gaara: "Sure."
Dosu: "Well thank-OMG THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH!"
~Naruto The Abridged series ep. 19

"I'm in despair!"
~Sensei From Goodbye Mr. Despair

Rare Hunters: "We are the elite group known as the 'Rare Hunters'. My name is 'Steve,' and these are my associates. They are also called 'Steve'."
~Yugioh The Abridged Series ep. 27

"Death Note: Colonel Mustard with the lead pipe in the library"
~Anime T-shirt

L:"Good News Guys. I've hired a new detective to work on the Kira Case. He should be here any moment."
Chief Yagami: "But L, we've already paid you a gratuitous amount of money to do it yourself."
Detective Conan: "Ahh, but Chief. I've already closed this case. I've investigated the lead, read all the files, followed all the footprints, cross referenced all the witnesses..."
L (thinking): "This rookie has some serious issues."
Chief Yagami: "So you solved the case. Well, let's here it then."
Detective Conan: "Heh Heh. Prepare yourself, Chief Yagami, for one truth prevails that Kira is none other than...OH! [Suffers Heart Attack & Dies]
L: "Ah *****, looks like i'm back on the case."
~Death Note the Abridged Series ep. 5

Aizawa (tired voice): "We've been watching anime for 12 hours. I, I think I might die."
~Death Note The Abridged Series ep. 5

L: "Ahh..Matsuda, have you found the channels yet?"
Matsuda (sleepy & tired voice): "Ahhh, umm, Bleach is on channel 59. Um, Fullmetal Alchemist is on 43. And, um ah, Naruto is on 38."
~Death Note The Abridged Series ep. 5

Mogi (looking around & thinking excitedly): "Ice Cream!? Ice Cream!? Gimmie, gimmie!"
~Death Note The Abridged Series ep. 5

Naruto: "Hey mister, who are you?"
Gendo (country accent): "I'm Gendo."
Shikamaru: "Where's Hayate?"
Gendo (angry): "He took a vacation to the island of SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Naruto: "Well, alot of people must go there. I get poscards from there all the time!"
~Naruto The Abridged Series ep. 19

Gendo (country accent): "Okay, now to tell you who you're fighting."
Naruto: "Where's the computer?"
Gendo (country accent): "F*** the computer. I'm using this napkin I keep in my shirt."
~Naruto the abridged series ep. 19

Dosu: "Hey, Gaara. I need some kitty litter. Can I borrow some sand?"
Gaara: "Sure."
Dosu: "Well thank-OMG THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH!"
~Naruto The Abridged series ep. 19

"I'm in despair!"
~Sensei From Goodbye Mr. Despair

Rare Hunters: "We are the elite group known as the 'Rare Hunters'. My name is 'Steve,' and these are my associates. They are also called 'Steve'."
~Yugioh The Abridged Series ep. 27

Aizawa (tired voice): "We've been watching anime for 12 hours. I, I think I might die."
~Death Note The Abridged Series ep. 5

L: "Ahh..Matsuda, have you found the channels yet?"
Matsuda (sleepy & tired voice): "Ahhh, umm, Bleach is on channel 59. Um, Fullmetal Alchemist is on 43. And, um ah, Naruto is on 38."
~Death Note The Abridged Series ep. 5

Mogi (looking around & thinking excitedly): "Ice Cream!? Ice Cream!? Gimmie, gimmie!"
~Death Note The Abridged Series ep. 5

Naruto: "Hey mister, who are you?"
Gendo (country accent): "I'm Gendo."
Shikamaru: "Where's Hayate?"
Gendo (angry): "He took a vacation to the island of SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Naruto: "Well, alot of people must go there. I get poscards from there all the time!"
~Naruto The Abridged Series ep. 19

Gendo (country accent): "Okay, now to tell you who you're fighting."
Naruto: "Where's the computer?"
Gendo (country accent): "F*** the computer. I'm using this napkin I keep in my shirt."
~Naruto the abridged series ep. 19

Dosu: "Hey, Gaara. I need some kitty litter. Can I borrow some sand?"
Gaara: "Sure."
Dosu: "Well thank-OMG THAT'S WAY TOO MUCH!"
~Naruto The Abridged series ep. 19

"I'm in despair!"
~Zetsubo Sensei, From GoodBye Mr. Despair

Rare Hunters: "We are the elite group known as the 'Rare Hunters'. My name is 'Steve,' and these are my associates. They are also called 'Steve'."
~Yugioh The Abridged Series ep. 27

"Now this is the story all about how
my life got flipped and upside down
I'll like to take a minute just sit down James
I tell you how I became the
Undisputed King of Card Games"
~From "The Phresh Paroah of Bel Air" by LittleKuriboh

"There is something incredibly cute going "Yay!" over there in the desert."
~Yuri from Kyo Kara Maoh

Yugi: "I already know what he [Santa] got me this year Grandpa."
Grandpa: "You do!?"
Yugi: "Yea. it's the same thing he always gets me: Children's trading cards...why does he keep sending me booster packs?"
Grandpa: "hm...Perhaps it's because he loves you."
Yugi: "Yeah. Well, maybe if he loved me, he'd get me a playstation 3."
Grandpa: "Well maybe Santa can't afford one."
Yugi: "Well maybe Santa can just go to hell then."
Grandpa: "Well maybe Santa thinks he'll see you there after he smothers you with a pillow in your sleep!"
[Akward Silence]
"Pleasant dreams, Yugi."
~Christmas Special #2 by LittleKuriboh

"No we definetly had it except that we didn't call it Christmas. We called it "Slavemas."
~Pharoah from Christmas Special #2 by LittleKuriboh

Said in Dr. Suess rhyme: "The Pharoah of Egypt loved Slavemas alot, but the Theif King of Egypt did not."
~Pharoah from Christmas Special #2 by LittleKuriboh

"You know, Marik, dueling you is like playing the Nintendo Wii. It got boring after 5 minutes."
~Pharoah from Yugioh the Abridged Series Ep. 32

"Just because this guy has an Egyptian God Card, doesn't mean he is going to win.You and I both know that there is more to card games than having the most powerful monsters. A true duelist doesn't rely on his cards alone. If you want to win, Yugi, then I suggest you take a page from my book and 'Screw the rules!' "
~Seto Kaiba from Yugioh The Abridged Series Ep. 32

Jin: "Huh what's this?"
Akido: "A Beta [max tape]"
Jin: "What's a Beta?"
Akido:"It's a SONY!"
~Kannagi: Crazy Shrine Maidens

"You like that don't you?"
~Booker Kudo (in disguise) from Case Closed

"Don't believe in the you that believes in you, but believe in the me that believes in you."
~Kamina from Gurren Lagaan (probably misquoted and mispelled, but it's epic)

"Let's go! Give me some money. Can I have some money? I can get you all you need. Just take my money! You can have my money. All I ask is that you bleed.
You can pay. You can pay me later. Any day. You can pay me later. I can pay. Baby, you can pay me later. Now you're under my thumb. MONEY!"
~Money Song (full) from the Nerima Daikon Brothers

"Will we ever get the dough we need? Our pockets always bleed! Whoa-ho-oh! Whoa ho-oh! We're not opposed to greed!"
~Nerima Daikon Brothers Opening Song (English)

"Sorry, but I'm just not in the mood for that sh*t."
~Ichiro from Nerima Daikon Brothers

"F**k it."
~Ichiro breaking the 4th wall & walking off set (Nerima Daikon Brothers)

"Fluffy. Fluffy. Pandy. Pandy. Don't know why you make me randy, but I love to dream about you...even when I'm awake. You're my favorite fantasy. You're a mammal. I'm a mammal. Don't you see? Hold me.The world is such a cold place, and you are warm and gay. Fluffy, fluffy. Pandy, pandy. It's you both night and day."
~Ichiro singing the "Panda Song" from Nerima Dakion Brothers

"Why am i crying in french?!"
~Vash the Stampede (Trigun)

"Men are worthless. Feelings of love are just a temporary lapse in judgment, like a kind of mental illness."
~Haruhi (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya)

"All men are jealous and stupid, and all women are stupid to be happy about it, idiots are everywhere you look..."
~Horo (Spice and Wolf)

[to a dating simulation that has just dumped him]
"Wait! If you cut off negotiations, it can only lead to war. Accept a truce, and I will listen to whatever you have to say. Let's work towards a compromise!"
~Sousuke Sagara (Full Metal Panic!)

[To himself]
"Oh my god, Sauske is so f*****g pretty! What I wouldn't give to be that rice ball! I am going to get all up in his guts!
[To Sauske]
Love me you sexy, ninja b*****d!"
~Naruto (from Naruto the Abridged Fandub Spoof Series Show)

Touga's famous speech (full) from Revolutionary Girl Utena (somewhat of a spoiler... read this with caution):

There , Can’t you hear it? If your soul has truly not abandoned all hope.
Then you can hear the sound [BEAT] that races through the end of the world.
[ep. 29 “We have been waiting for you, Touga. Say your line for us please.”]
Come, Come with us. Follow us, Follow us to the world you seek!