Uber rantage, kids. Wear your hardhats.

Facts:

-My name is Brendan
-I am asian
-I live in Canada [:
-I'm very short, 5'4. D:< Shorter than any 6th grader I know
-I abuse smileys~
-I promise I'm a guy.
-I PROMISE
-I am loved by animals
-I ********' glove CLAMP
-Oh, snap, I forgot to mention that I'm 22!
-I'm 22.
-Sometimes when I'm at the dentist, I get this lady dentist who has these MASSIVE fake boobs and they press against my face and I feel like a pervert.
-What if...there was this cop, who's partner was a very tiny woman, so he carried her around in a briefcase all the time and during heated moments of crime he just took her out and WHIPPED HER AT PEOPLE? That, my friend, would be awesome.
-I hate Justin Beiber with a burning passion. Like, Michael Jackson had to go through 35+ years of a musical career and then he had to DIE to get a movie, but Justin Beaver had to spend minutes in front of a webcam to get one. ******** you, man.
-I hate when people say "melk" or "pellow". That's not how you pronounce it, whitey.
-I'm very mean C:
-Lonely people are always up in the middle of the night.
-I like sleep. Life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, so.
-Jeffree Starr is an annoying little poop sack.
-I find it incredulous when white people act more Asian than I! And I'm not racist.
-You are a victim of the rules you live by.
-Self hatred is not attractive.
-Bill Nye the science guy looks like Abraham Lincoln! OOO:<
-I'm watching a documentary on the Illuminati. I'm not sleeping tonight
-Once you fall in love, you lose two close friends. Think about this.
-Okay, ghetto hood girl, you keep taking those blurry photos of yo fine self over your bathroom sink BUT DON'T FORGET to add those little captions that remind people how BAD and TOO CUTE you are.
-ARRIGHT well I had this dream where I went to Russia, and my girlfriend (the only person in the world who is shorter than me) got captured by this hitman and he told me that if I wanted her back I would have to make him a pound of homemade miso. So I did that and then suddenly the dream switched to another place and we were in America's Next Top Model, and Colleen (mah laday) won, and then she revealed by dramatically removing her disguise that she is ACTUALLY LADY GAGA. So then they got in a bitchfight because Lady GaGa/Colleen said Tyra's forehead was too big for her body and then we ran away back to Amurrica. Is my subconscious gay? Probably. Probably.
-If you don't like it, there's the door, baby.
-They have very good looking people on Victorious.
-I thought my family could use a little family time so I bought Saw 3. During the movie my dad was half asleep and my mom keeps complaining about how the story doesn't make sense. In the end she got mad because Jigsaw is still alive and its is not a happy ending. I call this progress.
-More thoughts later.