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ShadowsSexyFairy69 Report | 01/07/2008 11:28 pm

Well...Me and her are never getting back together. I do have a boyfriend now though ^-^ *points for c* lol Sorry about your mom...My grandfather just died though...

And WAAAY sorry about the whole b/f thing...Maybe your better off without him...But I thought you guys were engaged???

And I thought he loved katie...I dont know kinda confused here...SO FILL ME IN!!!!!!!!! lol



Kay Well love ya

<333~Ciara~

ShadowsSexyFairy69 Report | 11/20/2007 9:19 am

Well, Just letting you know, It didn't go too bad. She told me she will think about it. So Now all thats left is to wait, But I am deffinitly not waiting for ever. When I decide I dont want to wait no more, I will be done with her in that way forever. You know, cause I can't hold mysefl down to that. It would hurt allll the time. But yea, so thats how that went. I'll talk to you later aylsia.

ShadowsSexyFairy69 Report | 11/19/2007 6:25 pm

Nope haven't told her yet...She isn't home. But she will be soon, so if your on tonight I will let you know everything. ~Ciara~

ShadowsSexyFairy69 Report | 11/17/2007 2:14 am

Well I guess, I'll tell her everything monday...And yea I can do that for you. Well I'm off to bed. Thanks Aylsia, YOu actually really helped me out. I hope she will be like you think. I mean I know her...Somehow i see this not leading to any good...But your right, what will it hurt to try. Well love you Aylsia, have fun.

Love Ciara ^_^

ShadowsSexyFairy69 Report | 11/17/2007 1:57 am

She is the only one I want. And she would turn my friendship away...She has dont it before, so her g/f doesn't get jealous or mad or whatever. But how can I tell her? I mean...All this time I have told soooo many people "Yea I'm over her. She means nothing more then a friend to me. Thats all it ever could be." I mean what do you think people would say? How do you think she would feel? She would probably be confused...And more then likely she would think I have just gone insane. Or I dont know what I want. Or something. But I was NEVER over her, And I kno what I want. I want her. no one else. I want her to want me too. I just want her kisses, and I want her to hold me while it's cold. I have been listening to H.I.M. all day since I couldn't bring myself to tell her today. lol. That was our band. I've listened to all of our songs, And I can play everything tha me and her ever did together in my head...God I miss her. This winters going to be sooo lonely without her. =[

ShadowsSexyFairy69 Report | 11/17/2007 1:41 am

I found out that the girl liked me, from her friend. And it made me curious...So i spent more time with her, One day me and her were in my room, and I kissed her...I said sorry like 1000 times afterwards. I couldn't believe I did it. Well, she told me not to be sorry cause she thought she liked it, but wasn't sure. She asked if she could kiss me again. So we kissed again, And It was that feeling you only thought happened in movies. It felt like we kissed forever...Though it was only like a second. lol, But it was perfect, the music faded and everything was just pure bliss. And at that moment I knew she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We planned to get married, She hated kids, but she even decided we could adopt...God I am crying now. I am sooo pathetic. After she broke up with me, and went to the other girl...I lied to myself everyday and told myself I was over her. I grew to believe it true...But lately, I've had to see her more then usual...And It feels like I am falling in love with her all over again. I know now I was never over her. But when we were together I fell in love with her over and over again everyday.



John killed himself because of the miscarriage, and just alot of s**t.

ShadowsSexyFairy69 Report | 11/17/2007 1:20 am

Aylsia, You don't get it. I am not in love with guys. I am in love with girls. I am pretty much full lez. I have noticed, I dont give a s**t about the girl I am with now. I only care about my ex. I would do anything in this world to get her back, But it's never gonna happen. She has a g/f, and she loves her. I want to tell her how I feel but I am scared as hell. If I tell her, I am risking a friendship. Anyway, Yes that would be John...And He killed himself almost 4 years ago. How did uncle Joe die? My mom never told me anything...But if you called while I was in fl, I was with my ex g/f and when i got back, my mom kicked me out. I forgot katie was only a couple months old when I left. My mom asked how spencer was...I dont remember a spencer. lol. So who's spencer???

ShadowsSexyFairy69 Report | 11/16/2007 2:32 am

Well, Aylsia...Alot of s**t has been up.i dont even know where to start or anything. Well, let me start by saying, I'm safe. Fairly happy. The people i live with now, are great to me. They aren't family...But, they are better. No offense to you or aunt betty, Tell her I say hi. But my mom wouldn't send me back there after aunt dotty died. I wish she had sometimes, But in other ways I'm glad she didn't. I mean know I love you to death. It's just I have been through some great experinces. There is something about me, I think I should call you to talk to you about...I have changed...ALOT. I mean honestly last time I seen you I was eleven. And Last time we talked, Was after the miscarriage I had. And I am not sure if you remember john or not...Do you? Do you have a myspace or anything? Well look it's 5 something in the morning here. And I am sick. So i hope to hear from you soon...I love you sooo much, maybe you could come up for a visit...or I could go there...I'm sure aunt betty would love that. God Katie Must have gotten soo big. Hows uncle Joe doing? Love you Aylsia...I'm gonna tell my mom you said hi. I'm sure she would be happy to hear from you.