My Story

My first beginnings when the Gods created me lies back in ancient times. In a garden called Eden, beneath a thorned rose bush is where my ethereal flames were first born. I had been in awe at the beauty that I had been surrounded with, in awe with the manner in which I was given life and was created. A creature of eternal life and eternal light, I was naiive in thinking that my life would be perfect. For I although I dwelt here on the earth and could roam the starry skies at my liesure, I was never permitted to enter into heaven. This puzzled me greatly...was I not a representation of the epitome of light, purity, a symbol of life itself? Why were the grand, golden gates of heaven denied me, forever remained shut and could only gaze upon them longingly. What wasn't I being told?
was merely instructed to remain on Earth, for that is where I would truly belong. What was my purpose there? It was one night when the answer was revealed to me. As I sat beneath my rosebush starring up at the full moon, I felt the darkness itself lurk around me, surround me. I heard their whispers of envy and longing, yet for some reason they did not frighten me. Looking up I saw dark shadows envelop the full moon's brightness, completely shrouding it in the darkness. In that moment I felt a change within myself, something, or rather, someone whispering words into my ear, telling me what the Gods did not.
Why wasn't I permitted into heaven? Though being the epitome of light, I was tainted. How? Looking back at the moon engulfed in shadow I understood. Being the greatest source of light, my shadow was just as great. As the moon's shadow grows and weakens, so my own inner battle for light and dark will be. I was the living symbol of the balances of the universe and it was put upon my shoulders to keep them in check. If the darkness outweighed the light, it would mean complete destruction, and the demons of hell would be free to roam the earth as they pleased.
And so my burden began...to live this life with such great power yet not have a place to call home. I was too tainted to enter Heaven, yet too pure to reside in Hell. I remained in limbo, on earth, seeing many lives come and go, see man grow in their greed and hatred for eachother, their hunger for power sought me out many times, believing my feathers, blood, or tears could grant them such abilties as power, immortality, and healing. Each time I have been reborn it semed it only had gotten worse, and I was stuck here, with no where to turn to, no one to confide in...for who would believe me? Who would not betray me the moment their hearts turned to greed? So I remained alone...unwilling...until one day...
T'was not long ago when I had met someone who was in a way like me. He was a fallen angel and was sent here to earth to await judgement. And yet to me he was as pure and holy as heaven, I could not see the reason for him being sent here. Compared to what I was and was capable of, he was a perfect angel. He sought out my company numurous times, but I didn't allow myself to aquaint myself with him. To my suprise he was quite persistant and before I knew we found ourselves in love. I warned him of what I was capable of, but he did not care. He even risked remaining here on Earth with me instead of returning to heaven once his judgement had been passed. It was unreal how someone like him would do something so selfless just for me...unreal how his smile could warm my frozen heart. But fate would be cruel to me. I was not meant to find love for my duty came first in keeping the balances. And so my darkness was released beyond my control and I sought out my angel and tortured him before killing him. I watched helplessly as my hands commited the deed and when I had regained control I starred at my bloodstained hands with broken tears. What had I done? What had prompted the evil within to do this? Was it jealousy? My angel was going to propose to me that night, for I had discovered a velvet box with a ring within it...my angel...I killed him and now he cannot return to heaven, nor can he go to hell. Instead his soul would remain trapped wandering aimlessly in time with no rest, with no closure...what had I done?
And so is my story...I remain a part of this world yet distant so as not to have history repeat itself and yet I feel the need to end this world just as suddenly as it began. Humanity has not changed except for the worse. Perhaps I need to take it upon myself to do what the Gods were too weak to do, clense the earth and begin life anew perfectly...and this time, there won't be anyone created with a burden like I have. No one should suffer the hell I have...I will make sure I am the only one to suffer this fate and await the future when time itself will end for then I will truly die and not be brought back to this mortal realm. And yet even then I will live, however within the spirit realm within the stars as I have dreamed for so long... .