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Johannes Cabal's avatar

Location: On the Run

Occupation: Necromancer

The Crimes of Johannes Cabal

Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day (Short Story)

Exeunt Demon King
(Short Story)

The Ereshkigal Working (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Necromancer (Novel)

The House of Gears (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Detective (Novel)

The Death of Me (Short Story)

A Long Spoon (Short Story)

Ouroboros Ouzo (Short Story)

Johannes Cabal the Fear Institute (Novel)

The Brothers Cabal (Novel)

Bother

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Armed and Dangerous

 

Biography of a Necromancer

Imagine, if you will, dear visitor: A pale tow-headed man of about six feet tall, in his late twenties, dressed sensibly in black from head to toe. He carries with him a Gladstone bag, containing, among other things, the following: a set of precise surgical scalpels, his late father's silver matchbox, what appears to be a padded case that contains various elixers and potions from his experimentations, a switchblade, whatever tome he's stolen from a private collection, and most certainly, a Webley .577 revolver. Various exotic tokens and ritualistic devices can often be found in his bag as well.

He speaks in a British manner, but has a faint Teutonic accent. If you were able, perchance, to get a glimpse of his eyes beyond his smoke-tinted glasses, you would find them to be blue. But if you were to look past the color, you might, at times, find them to be tired, sharp, or most distressingly, absolutely soulless.

Johannes Cabal is the main character of the same named series by author Jonathan L. Howard. A scientist who studies the illegal art of Necromancy in a world similar to ours, past adventures include: Stopping the zombie apocalypse; staying in on a rather dreary day; running an evil carnival to gather 100 wayward souls for Satan in return for his own, with the assistance of his vampire brother Horst; solving a series of political murders to stop a war caused by a power hungry military. He approaches life with the philosophy that death is mankind's greatest enemy (well, besides its own stupidity.) He's willing to do anything to achieve his goals, whatever the cost, be it blood, money, or his own soul.

The Necromancer, Himself

Ugh.
...

As you wish.

One Johannes Cabal, necromancer (of some little infamy,) detective, blasphemer, grave pilferer, carnival proprietor, and overall, a lying, cheating b*****d.
(In the sense of the insult; My father was an upstanding gentleman, if you will.)

Hates: I don't hate, I have extreme dis-likings.

Dislikes: Small children, large children, elderly people, revenants who refuse to co-operate, mobs, angry villagers, angry relatives of the recently deceased, getting stuck in timeless dimensions, Leonie Barrow, killing, being forced to kill, people generally in my way, political intrigue, demons with nothing better to do than whine at me, Horst's similies (Why. Why are they always sexual?) carnivals, being forced to run a carnival to get my soul back, having to claim 100 souls for Satan (Who knew you needed your own for necromancy? Go figure...), slobbering guard dogs, social interaction, etc....

On Heroics:

"I do almost everything for reasons that might be characterized as selfish. I regard my life as a vital thread in the ongoind march of humanity from protoplasm to-- I don't know, to be honest. Something better than protoplasm would be a start. Therefore, anything that threatens my life now or later has to be dealt with. Paradoxically, that often means risking my life to secure my safety. The difference is that I risk it on my own terms."

Insults, slurs, and cries of revenge

View All Comments

AtreeX Report | 08/18/2025 2:33 am
AtreeX
Honestly, I'm so used to apartments that I get a little paranoid in houses, haha. Like, when I'd go to friends' sleepovers or when I stay over at my in-laws' house, I'm always a bit... unnerved.

Which is to say: Wishing you much luck on your housing adventure! May it yield at least, like, one (1) wall to shield you from your computer.
AtreeX Report | 08/16/2025 8:53 pm
AtreeX
Honestly, one of the funniest parts about my “I’ve never lived in a house” fact is that I’ve only ever lived in apartments, one dorm, and… a restored European castle from the 14th century.
AtreeX Report | 07/10/2024 5:28 pm
AtreeX
Oh, that's fantastic! The KBBQ and hot pot, not the work, hah. Those are perfect birthday activities. heart
AtreeX Report | 07/09/2024 10:54 pm
AtreeX
Happy slightly belated birthday, Cabal! I hope it was full of delightful and wonderful things like Jonathan L. Howard books, friendly crows, tasty cake, and all that good stuff. heart
Umpenscrump Report | 06/14/2024 9:33 pm
Umpenscrump
I was briefly horrified by that stag beetle find until I realized you said plants.
AtreeX Report | 06/06/2024 4:50 pm
AtreeX
Phew! Glad that RuPaul doesn't have to sashay away, haha.

And thank you, friend!! <3
AtreeX Report | 06/03/2024 6:48 pm
AtreeX
Ugh, I feel your shelving frustration—I've got a similar board game box conundrum. Hope it works out with minimal fuss, friend.
Lian Shuang Report | 02/03/2024 1:10 pm
Lian Shuang
Thank you!! emotion_bigheart
Ah hognoses are so cute with their little shovel noses~
Lian Shuang Report | 02/02/2024 3:46 pm
Lian Shuang
She's a California kingsnake!
Guccii Goobers Report | 01/22/2024 7:12 pm
Guccii Goobers
heart thank you for buying heart

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"I sound quite mythical, don't I? What wonders shallI perform next?"