I never lied to you. I left. It's different. I left, but I didn't lie. I've no recollection of lying about anything. I've never been with anyone else but you when I left, and I'm not lying. I've never stopped loving you, and I'm not lying.
The only thing I could possibly have lied about was not hurting you. And I'm trying to apologize for that, but you want nothing to do with my apology, or me, so it seems, even though I'm TRYING.
I'm done killing myself over you. I'm done dying for you. If you haven't even spoken to me or given me a chance by now, you never will, and I should accept that.
I'll always hope you will stop hating me, but killing myself will only kill me, and you still won't care. It would be a waste of time.
I haven't been with anyone since moving in with you in the first place. And the only way you'd know this for certain is to trust me when I say I haven't been with anyone since I left. I was more concerned with making money, not 'new friends'.
Even an idea of the one I left behind was enough, there was no need for me to consider anyone else. I never wanted anyone else. And all I have left is merely an idea.
Part of a gamble is taking a chance... I wish you would give me another chance, but I know you won't, and I'm sorry that you were put in the position that you can't give me any chance at all.
I'll leave you be now. I won't bother you again, but I am still sorry.
If you wish for me to leave you alone and stop trying to apologize, then I will.
I truly am sorry, and wish you would let me try and make it up to you, but I know you won't ever forgive me, no matter how many times I say I'm sorry.
You are all I could think of out there on the west coast, but you won't believe that, given the way I left, and for that I'm so sorry.
I wish there was something I could do, something I could say that would convince you of my sincerity, but you'd have to think up something like that, since I know you won't accept anything I can think of.
If you want me to leave you alone, I will. Maybe, for all I know, what I love, who I love, is an idea of a person, an idea of you, but what love I have for you, be the you of the idea, or the you that is, I love enough to let go, if that would make you happiest.
I know I did wrong, I know that, and I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd gone to you first, instead of panicking and running away.
I made my choices though, I must live with my consequences, even if that means that you are lost to me.
You make it increasingly difficult to speak to you when you won't talk to me. I know you hate me, but can't you at least let me try and make it up to you?
Apologizing til the end of time is not the way to go. It was my fault I left, it was my fault I went west without you, and it's my fault I'm still here. It's also my fault I'm back on solid ground and not wallowing in debt.
If I purchased tickets for you to join me, would you throw them away with a scowl and move on, or could you give me a second chance when I know I don't deserve one?
I really am so truly sorry, and I do wish to make it up to you any way I can.
No, of course not! I'm sorry it seems that way, but I'm never too busy for you.
I'm sorry the call dropped the other day, my phone died. It wasn't intentional.
You're mad at me, aren't you. Mad that I didn't come back home when I should have. I'm sorry, but I didn't want you to see me like that, to see what I had become. You didn't deserve to see me at my worst.
According to by brother, she tried putting out by waving a towel frantically..seriously if I had been there I would have slapped her upside the head (or thought of it ^^') because oxygen+fire=more fire. -_-'
The only other thing that got damaged was my little bamboo tree. (I named it Boo, now Boo is gone T^T) Other than that my mom's ego, she ever thought about putting out the fire with the extinguisher. '>>
Life must be a bit stressful if it's soo busy, but its good that you are going to calm down a bit and chat. ^w^
My life is just normal..I haven't been up anything too bad. >3 The other day when I came home I saw that the microwave was half molten! Apparently my mother left the stove on, and yeah.. '>>
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