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blue-ember14 Report | 07/07/2008 8:01 pm

you need comments!!!! Oo

blue-ember14 Report | 06/04/2008 6:35 am

hi-ness!

a smoothie sounds good right now

aSlutburgerNamedSquishy Report | 04/19/2008 10:01 pm

mmmm...fruit smoothie....

-BeLLa ShOrTiE- Report | 03/21/2008 5:52 am

HIYAZ!!!

kitty loves you =^.^=

BlackHeart45 Report | 03/20/2008 2:04 pm

hello... im ice angels fwend

-BeLLa ShOrTiE- Report | 03/02/2008 11:49 am

i have a lolli pop!!!!!!!!!!!

*sugar rush*

-BeLLa ShOrTiE- Report | 03/01/2008 7:26 pm

heehee........maybe you should go to bed then huh?

oh wait i forgot how stuborn you are ..........

-BeLLa ShOrTiE- Report | 02/19/2008 3:47 pm

kitty loves you.

aSlutburgerNamedSquishy Report | 02/18/2008 2:41 pm

...i can't believe i actually took the time to read all that....

Djaq Ichiro Report | 01/17/2008 7:44 pm

How to be a Successful Evil Overlord



by Peter Anspach







Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists, or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...







The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord







   1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face concealing ones.



   2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.



   3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell in my dungeon.



   4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.



   5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragon of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.



   6. I will not gloat over my enemies predicament before killing them.



   7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought, I'll shoot him and then say "No."



   8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.



   9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled, "Danger: Don Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will clearly not be labelled as such.



  10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum - a small hotel room well outside my border will work just as well.



  11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.



  12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.



  13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least several round of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.



  14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.



  15. I will never employ any device with a digital count-down. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable. I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.



  16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."



  17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.



  18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would prove a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.



  19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.



  20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.



  21. I will hire a fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legion of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-of